Something I noticed about myself. I only tried to self improve briefly after I turned 20, when I started to realize that my life was going nowhere. Prior to that, I had absolutely zero sportsmanship, in lack of a better word. I know people who as teenagers were full of desires to live, improve themselves, learn new skills...
In my childhood and during all of my teenage years, I had none of that. I never cared about fitness, I never wanted to do a sport or go to the gym, at school I did the bare minimum, I never tried to learn an instrument or any skill besides drawing when I was bored; movies about struggle and hard work like Rocky (1976) and motivaitonal quotes meant nothing to me. I had no goals, no desires, I was absolutely depressed. My only desire was to have friends, but after I tried and failed many times at the end of middle school I stopped trying. Having big goals, bucket lists and new year's resolutions was foreign to me. As long as it worked I kept doing the bare minimum to survive, It was quite easy, so I never needed any of that inspirational stuff. I never thought about what was gonna be of my future. The only problem is that at some point it stopped working, and I wasn't able to keep going forward with zero effort anymore.
When I realized that, initially I kind of envied the people who had started 'working' early, because now I have no skills and I never even got the discipline necessary to learn them (doing sports and being coached teaches a lot about real life and striving for a set goal, I assume), but now I understand that, because of my insurmountable subhuman genetic limitatios, even if I had put in absurd amounts of effort for anything it wouldn't have made a big difference, just like how every self-improvement attempt I did after 20 has failed miserably. Of course, my greatest failure was to never be able to kiss a girl, something that shouldn't take that much effort in the first place.
Still, I was wondering if people here experienced the same. Were you far-sighted and motivated as a kid, or were you completely beat down by depression, apathy and despair, only at most going after quick immediate gratification?
In my childhood and during all of my teenage years, I had none of that. I never cared about fitness, I never wanted to do a sport or go to the gym, at school I did the bare minimum, I never tried to learn an instrument or any skill besides drawing when I was bored; movies about struggle and hard work like Rocky (1976) and motivaitonal quotes meant nothing to me. I had no goals, no desires, I was absolutely depressed. My only desire was to have friends, but after I tried and failed many times at the end of middle school I stopped trying. Having big goals, bucket lists and new year's resolutions was foreign to me. As long as it worked I kept doing the bare minimum to survive, It was quite easy, so I never needed any of that inspirational stuff. I never thought about what was gonna be of my future. The only problem is that at some point it stopped working, and I wasn't able to keep going forward with zero effort anymore.
When I realized that, initially I kind of envied the people who had started 'working' early, because now I have no skills and I never even got the discipline necessary to learn them (doing sports and being coached teaches a lot about real life and striving for a set goal, I assume), but now I understand that, because of my insurmountable subhuman genetic limitatios, even if I had put in absurd amounts of effort for anything it wouldn't have made a big difference, just like how every self-improvement attempt I did after 20 has failed miserably. Of course, my greatest failure was to never be able to kiss a girl, something that shouldn't take that much effort in the first place.
Still, I was wondering if people here experienced the same. Were you far-sighted and motivated as a kid, or were you completely beat down by depression, apathy and despair, only at most going after quick immediate gratification?
