I remember that I uploaded some threads back in October about me having suicidal thoughts... now keep in mind, before I signed up to this forum I was already down bad and had massive mood swings on a frequent basis (every few days or so). My mood literally kept oscillating with very big 'spikes' on each interval...
But the past few months have been relatively quiet.
Yes, I do have periods when the depression comes back, but it comes around the corner every 2/3 weeks or so.
I often lock myself up in my room, cry myself to sleep for probably not being able to ever have a girlfriend, cry myself to sleep for being just another subpar guy etc. But after a solid cry session and with the stress relieved, I often manage to persevere and go on with my life again.
What really triggers my depression is having a oneitis. I try to not get emotionally attached to a selfie of a woman who happens to be exactly my type.... but it's hard. I can't stop myself from developing this 'idealized' image of the woman in question.
I often cry myself to sleep thinking about that Oneitis.... what could have been if I was a confident Chad? I would probably be in a relationship with her right now, cuddling and laying in bed with her on a Friday night unlike my current reality, where I'm lonely and living in solitude.
What could have been when I was that Chad? I'd probably be looking her into the eyes right now (as I type this thread), while she tells me how much she loves me, craves me physically and wants my offspring.
Hence I really try to stay away from social media, even with my fake anonymous account. Cause when I come a cross a woman who's exactly my type and lives in my area, that's where the depression starts to kick in.
But the past few months have been relatively quiet.
Yes, I do have periods when the depression comes back, but it comes around the corner every 2/3 weeks or so.
I often lock myself up in my room, cry myself to sleep for probably not being able to ever have a girlfriend, cry myself to sleep for being just another subpar guy etc. But after a solid cry session and with the stress relieved, I often manage to persevere and go on with my life again.
What really triggers my depression is having a oneitis. I try to not get emotionally attached to a selfie of a woman who happens to be exactly my type.... but it's hard. I can't stop myself from developing this 'idealized' image of the woman in question.
I often cry myself to sleep thinking about that Oneitis.... what could have been if I was a confident Chad? I would probably be in a relationship with her right now, cuddling and laying in bed with her on a Friday night unlike my current reality, where I'm lonely and living in solitude.
What could have been when I was that Chad? I'd probably be looking her into the eyes right now (as I type this thread), while she tells me how much she loves me, craves me physically and wants my offspring.
Hence I really try to stay away from social media, even with my fake anonymous account. Cause when I come a cross a woman who's exactly my type and lives in my area, that's where the depression starts to kick in.
