Dear Transgender People,
I understand that you are frustrated about the lack of positive recognition and acceptance by Cis people. I really do. You are already burdened by the fact that you are forced to inhabit the wrong body. And now, to add insult to injury, you are hindered or even excluded from various parts of life just because people lack understanding and compassion.
Therefore it saddens me immeasurably to tell you:
You are not entitled to any form of acceptance. No one is. Acceptance has to be earned and you just have not done the required work yet to earn that acceptance.
Some people refuse to use your preferred pronounce.
And that is ok, if they prefer it so. You have no claim on language, please stop pretending otherwise.
Some people refuse to believe that Trans-Women are women.
And that is ok, because everyone can have their own definition of what a women is. Please stop telling people how to think.
Some people are deeply concerned or even frightened because of you. And they have every right to be. Please stop telling people what they can and cannot be worried about. I’m sure you would appreciate the same for yourself.
And some people may refuse to date you because you are Trans. And they are entitled to their preferences. Please learn to accept that.
If you want acceptance, you have to do what every other community has to do: WORK FOR IT!
Earn peoples respect, so they use your preferred pronounce willingly.
Accept other people’s definition of what a woman is and maybe then they will accept yours.
Call out and fight the loud minority among Trans people who are responsible for the frightening image of your community.
If you want to be a genuine option for potential Cis partners, learn to pass convincingly. I know this can be a costly and dangerous process, but, if you really want it, you will find a way.
www.psychologytoday.com
And, whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, try to force your will on others. Social pressure is a form of violence and will certainly provoke rightful retaliation. The same is true for lying. Do not go that path.
Lastly, and this is the difficult part, learn to accept that some people, or even all people, will not part with their old habits and preferences, no matter what you do. Life is not fair, after all.
I wish you the best.
Signed, a proud Trans ally.
Stay Powerful!
Stay Beautiful!
I understand that you are frustrated about the lack of positive recognition and acceptance by Cis people. I really do. You are already burdened by the fact that you are forced to inhabit the wrong body. And now, to add insult to injury, you are hindered or even excluded from various parts of life just because people lack understanding and compassion.
Therefore it saddens me immeasurably to tell you:
You are not entitled to any form of acceptance. No one is. Acceptance has to be earned and you just have not done the required work yet to earn that acceptance.
Some people refuse to use your preferred pronounce.
And that is ok, if they prefer it so. You have no claim on language, please stop pretending otherwise.
Some people refuse to believe that Trans-Women are women.
And that is ok, because everyone can have their own definition of what a women is. Please stop telling people how to think.
Some people are deeply concerned or even frightened because of you. And they have every right to be. Please stop telling people what they can and cannot be worried about. I’m sure you would appreciate the same for yourself.
And some people may refuse to date you because you are Trans. And they are entitled to their preferences. Please learn to accept that.
If you want acceptance, you have to do what every other community has to do: WORK FOR IT!
Earn peoples respect, so they use your preferred pronounce willingly.
Accept other people’s definition of what a woman is and maybe then they will accept yours.
Call out and fight the loud minority among Trans people who are responsible for the frightening image of your community.
If you want to be a genuine option for potential Cis partners, learn to pass convincingly. I know this can be a costly and dangerous process, but, if you really want it, you will find a way.
Are Trans People Excluded from the World of Dating?
New research explores the extent to which trans people are excluded from dating.
And, whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, try to force your will on others. Social pressure is a form of violence and will certainly provoke rightful retaliation. The same is true for lying. Do not go that path.
Lastly, and this is the difficult part, learn to accept that some people, or even all people, will not part with their old habits and preferences, no matter what you do. Life is not fair, after all.
I wish you the best.
Signed, a proud Trans ally.
Stay Powerful!
Stay Beautiful!
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