It's Over Daily dreaming about suicide - WTF

[sennaGTR]

Pictured is a mood tracker I made. I had a short burst of "I will IMPROOOOV" when I made it only for me to document evidence of my life being a complete hell. It's color coded and goes to ten. I've never had a day over 6.

No cringy shit, I know you guys fully agree that existence is painful. Being a biological creature is suffering. You rarely feel good, everything you do or take to "solve" that make you feel worse. You realize all of it is just cope for an unfulfilling life. I've tried it all, acesticism, chasing higher fulfillment, etc. Life is still hell.

22 years of coping is tiring. 22 years of striving for fulfillment and lacking it is suffering. Being aware of suffering and death is a cause of mental suffering.

Being a non neurotypical incel, being born into THIS world, I think is a mistake. Our parents should've never reproduced. None of us asked to be here.

How do you guys cope like this? I have daily, weekly, and monthly suicidal thoughts. It genuinely feels comforting that blackness and a long nap is an option instead of living through this. I cannot last much longer than this, the only thing holding me back is my fear of suicidal pain and my biological response to wanting to stay alive. Matter of fact that's another source of suffering. Only the human body would make you do shit that causes pain to your soul and psyche just to survive and reproduce. The body chases women that don't desire you, it gives gifts to women that clearly use you as a slave, the body chooses to exist in pain when the option of death and mental relief is right there.

how do you cope guys? anyone else in my shoes? any oldfags? there's no way to make it stop while we're alive is there? how much longer do you think you will last? I fear I can't last much longer but I also feel like exiting is going to be cathartic.

 

[HonkCocknBalTorture]

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[Cautious Raven]

I'm pretty close to your age (23), and I think the biggest thing that has helped me is to try and take things one day at a time.

I struggle with similar stuff, and I think about suicide daily. Life really sucks balls, but there's nothing that we can do about it besides pick up a hobby or a new thing to cope.

Try and look into distracting yourself by creating some form of art, and work on building that. It will give you a reason to want to keep going.



Cheers

 

[sennaGTR]

I'm pretty close to your age (23), and I think the biggest thing that has helped me is to try and take things one day at a time.

I struggle with similar stuff, and I think about suicide daily. Life really sucks balls, but there's nothing that we can do about it besides pick up a hobby or a new thing to cope.

Try and look into distracting yourself by creating some form of art, and work on building that. It will give you a reason to want to keep going.



Cheers

I've will definitely work on this, it might be my last real cope I guess. minimizing my life and simplifying it so all I do is cope the way schopenhauer did, with arts and creating, expressing, it's moments like that where life doesn't seem like a big mistake.

only time will tell if I get to that life or get consumed.

 

[sennaGTR]

I've will definitely work on this, it might be my last real cope I guess. minimizing my life and simplifying it so all I do is cope the way schopenhauer did, with arts and creating, expressing, it's moments like that where life doesn't seem like a big mistake.

only time will tell if I get to that life or get consumed.

another thing i'm thinking of as I journal and document this line of thought.

practicing ascetism. I must prevent myself from falling prey to the will of my body, the will of the flesh. This programming of life's desire to spread like a virus, especially when as an incel there is no possibility of that. I don't feed my sex drive, ive killed it entirely. But the rest of what I have to do is kill the idea of fulfillment or a happy life, that's a big source of suffering I believe. letting completely instead of forcing yourself to let go through suicide seems like it could be a solution. working on it though

 

[Retraux]

I'm 26 and very suicidal, yet currently riding a weird paradoxical wave of motivation to try an ascend. I feel similar to you, being genetic refuse and resenting my genetic refuse parents. I wish the eugenicists succeeded. I don't even have good copes anymore which is probably why I spiraled into possibly my worst place psychologically last week.

 

[SubhumanGamer]

Daydreaming my suicide is my favorite hobby. Binge gore if your daydreams get repetitive and bland it will give you tons of inspiration.