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Discussion Could you be friends with a female if you never at any point develop feelings for her or find her attractive?

Could you be friends with a female if you never fall in love with her or ever find her attractive?

  • Yes

    Votes: 12 37.5%
  • No

    Votes: 15 46.9%
  • I’m not sure

    Votes: 5 15.6%

  • Total voters
    32
Deleted member 101

Deleted member 101

I just wanna be loved, but don’t think I’m worthy
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Joined
Nov 7, 2017
Posts
4,228
I often wonder this. I sometimes get the feeling that true friendships between men and women are very rare since many cases at least one party finds them attractive or falls in love (particularly more men towards women). If you fall in love with her but she never feels the same, it becomes a one sided affair that sadly many women will take advantage of and use you, usually as someone to only use to do favors for and use to vent towards without offering the same to him. Not saying this the case for all women or even people, but let’s be honest: most people aren’t saints and will frequently use people for their own benefit.

Now, I’m not saying that most men will only befriend women in hopes of getting to fuck them. I actually think what mostly happens is that guys will befriend a woman like he would a guy, or be part of a group of friends that might include some ladies and won’t really think much more than simply making friends, and won’t really think of his female friend(s) as anything more than, well, friends. Sure, he might find her attractive and would have sex with her if she offered, but it’s not like he’s just dying to bang her and only befriended her because of that. But I think it’s common for guys to start to develop feelings for female friends eventually since they get to know these girls and develop relationships with them. Sometimes they share and even bond over common interests. And when you combine that with him finding her cute, chances are he’ll develop a crush her and want to go out with her. Guys who are inexperienced with women are probably much more have this happen to them unlike a guy who’s already in a relationship and/or is already good with girls and therefore doesn’t easily catch feelings. But of course if she doesn’t feel the same way towards you, then you could end up getting used, or end up ruining a good friendship if she rejects you.

But what if you for whatever reason never at any point feel attracted to her, or at the very least catch feelings? Could a mixed gender friendship work in this case?
 
Yes in fact I'd enjoy it because it'd be less stressful.
 
I don’t see the point.
I’d rather have a friend to share hobbies with.
 
The only friend I had in uni was a girl and she was really overweight so I wasn't attracted to her. However, she was one of the kindest and humble people I have met. She was also sort of outcasted by other people because of her weight and only really had one other female friend, though she also had a husband. Kind, open, would laugh at your jokes, smart and easy to work with, so platonic is definitely possible.
 
Yes it's possible if you're both ugly and there is no sexual tension.
 
Also, I feel like it’s way more common for older folks to have legit platonic mixed friendships with each other since their sex drives are much lower at that point.
 
Yes it's possible if you're both ugly and there is no sexual tension.
Agreed, if she's even semi good looking and you get along well, I think biology kicks in and you will start to have feelings. Especially if you're in this inkrwell situation.
 
Of course not. Why would you even?
 
Agreed, if she's even semi good looking and you get along well, I think biology kicks in and you will start to have feelings. Especially if you're in this inkrwell situation.
Depends. I don’t get crushes anymore because there aren’t any women outside my family I’m close to. I can’t develop feelings for women just on looks alone.
 
Depends. I don’t get crushes anymore because there aren’t any women outside my family I’m close to. I can’t develop feelings for women just on looks alone.
Yes, that's why I also put 'and you get along well' lol. But anyways, again I agree. If I see a decent looking foid, say some random in public it just makes me angry now.
 
Yes, that's why I also put 'and you get along well' lol. But anyways, again I agree. If I see a decent looking foid, say some random in public it just makes me angry now.
I just get sad because it reminds me of my place
 
Agreed, if she's even semi good looking and you get along well, I think biology kicks in and you will start to have feelings. Especially if you're in this inkrwell situation.
Yeah and even if they do truly mean well it's hard to not too. Which is why it's a curse to be a man.
 
First, it's not friendship it's just simping in hope that she will let you fuxk her one day and second why would you be friend to a creature without actual personality? :feelsugh:
 
First, it's not friendship it's just simping in hope that she will let you fuxk her one day and second why would you be friend to a creature without actual personality? :feelsugh:
The point is that you don’t aren’t attracted to her, you don’t have feelings for her and you never will. She may as well be a male friend.
 
Yes in fact I'd enjoy it because it'd be less stressful.
This pretty much, it might even be less stressful than a male friend (not that I have any) since then you don't need to worry about him being paranoid you're after his GF or girls he's into (unless your female friend is Les/Bi?)

OTOH even if you don't need to be worried about your friend being paranoid about you going after her BFs, her BFs (or GFs?) could still be paranoid about you being attracted to her even if you weren't, so that would be the substitute complication in such a situation.

I guess if nobody else were interested in her then I wouldn't need to worry about that, but how could I possibly know?

Another complication is if she's so repulsive that not even I'm into her (I have very inclusive standards) then there might be the concern that she's into me. Normally that's not something I'd need to worry about with girls, but a girl so unattractive that not even I like her (1/10 ?) might actually consider me as a romantic interest, in which case I'd have the unusual "friend zone" dilemma foids commonly expereince with their beta orbiters.

Probably the ideal female friend you weren't fucking would be a lesbian who is into 3somes and wants your help seducing bisexual women?
 
Impossible, I've been friends with truly hideous women. All it takes is for them to show excitement when they see me, laugh at my autistic jokes, treat me kindly and i start seeing them as sexual options. Im so starved that I'll take even the worst Pussycrumb™.
 
You're seriously considering being actual friends with a femoid?
 

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