I remember my teenage years through mid 20's (age i've started working), being ugly was shitty and i've often vented about my ugliness on the internet (and without incel communities it was a lot harder) but then, after a good fap or two, i always felt so relaxed and ready to cope for the entire day and, eventually, fap again.
My mindset for the future was "i'll get a job avoiding all social interactions and i'll spend the rest of the time at home, coping and fapping when necessary. going to job will be shitty, but at least i don't have to study or doing homework".
During those years i had almost no female contact (due to my school/university being almost all males).
When i had to start working i was forced to get into contact with females and, of course, being me a total virgin, i got attached to a coworker that was kinda flirty to me but she obiviously changed her behaviour when i goofy told her that i liked her (i was naive, yes.).
I've also started gymceling so yeah, females are all around.
And i think that's what makes coping so hard for me, seeing/having to interact with females. That and, well, browsing incel forums, but let me explain.
I've got a very close friend, same age as mine, he's apparently a god of LDAR'ing and coping (bolded because, you know, maybe he's just one of those guys that don't let deep emotions transpire). He is way uglier than me and without a job (but he's lucky he has money from his parents), he has suffered bullying (he's very small framed) and other bad things in his life yet he's able to spend his entire day happily LDAR'ing.
We talk almost about everything but we tend to avoid the fact we're both incels, we go out sometimes togheter and we have some good time so, during those times, i've talked to him initially about virgin vs chad memes, or soyboys, and then gradually exposed him about incel communities and blackpill etc.
He was all like "dude avoid those forums, they harm you, it' better to ignore them" and sometimes sprouted some bluepilled shit like "chad is not better, just different".
How someone that ugly can also be THAT bluepilled? Maybe it's the best strategy to cope? Just ignore the reality around you, incel communities included?
Sometimes i think he's partially right because after i spend hours browsing incel forums i always feel worse because they just makes you think so much about how losing the genetic lottery basically compromises your life and makes you beyond saving.
Knowing that, even if i'll get a GF, she will not enjoy me as a sex partner but just as someone to settle with, it's destroying me. Knowing that i'd likely become a fucking cuck because that's what "nice guys" ends up to be.
Even fapping is not enough anymore because those thoughts haunts me even when my balls are empty, because getting to interact with women (and people in general) while being ugly is a disadvantage for every aspect in life.
Maybe he's the best coper ever, just shutting himself into a shell avoiding facing reality at all costs.
Maybe he'll rope in a few years (i surely hope he won't, he's my only friend).
My mindset for the future was "i'll get a job avoiding all social interactions and i'll spend the rest of the time at home, coping and fapping when necessary. going to job will be shitty, but at least i don't have to study or doing homework".
During those years i had almost no female contact (due to my school/university being almost all males).
When i had to start working i was forced to get into contact with females and, of course, being me a total virgin, i got attached to a coworker that was kinda flirty to me but she obiviously changed her behaviour when i goofy told her that i liked her (i was naive, yes.).
I've also started gymceling so yeah, females are all around.
And i think that's what makes coping so hard for me, seeing/having to interact with females. That and, well, browsing incel forums, but let me explain.
I've got a very close friend, same age as mine, he's apparently a god of LDAR'ing and coping (bolded because, you know, maybe he's just one of those guys that don't let deep emotions transpire). He is way uglier than me and without a job (but he's lucky he has money from his parents), he has suffered bullying (he's very small framed) and other bad things in his life yet he's able to spend his entire day happily LDAR'ing.
We talk almost about everything but we tend to avoid the fact we're both incels, we go out sometimes togheter and we have some good time so, during those times, i've talked to him initially about virgin vs chad memes, or soyboys, and then gradually exposed him about incel communities and blackpill etc.
He was all like "dude avoid those forums, they harm you, it' better to ignore them" and sometimes sprouted some bluepilled shit like "chad is not better, just different".
How someone that ugly can also be THAT bluepilled? Maybe it's the best strategy to cope? Just ignore the reality around you, incel communities included?
Sometimes i think he's partially right because after i spend hours browsing incel forums i always feel worse because they just makes you think so much about how losing the genetic lottery basically compromises your life and makes you beyond saving.
Knowing that, even if i'll get a GF, she will not enjoy me as a sex partner but just as someone to settle with, it's destroying me. Knowing that i'd likely become a fucking cuck because that's what "nice guys" ends up to be.
Even fapping is not enough anymore because those thoughts haunts me even when my balls are empty, because getting to interact with women (and people in general) while being ugly is a disadvantage for every aspect in life.
Maybe he's the best coper ever, just shutting himself into a shell avoiding facing reality at all costs.
Maybe he'll rope in a few years (i surely hope he won't, he's my only friend).
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