I remember the first time I lit up a cigarette. I was just a kid, trying to impress my friends, thinking it made me look cool. Little did I know, that puff of smoke would shape the rest of my life.
Fast forward a few decades, and here I am, still puffing away like there's no tomorrow. But now, the consequences are catching up to me. My body's become a battleground, and smoking's the enemy within.
I've tried quitting more times than I can count. Nicotine patches, gum, even those fancy e-cigarettes—they're all just temporary fixes for a permanent problem. It's like I'm stuck in this endless cycle of addiction, unable to break free no matter how hard I try.
And the worst part? I know it's killing me. Every cough feels like a reminder of my own mortality, every wheeze a warning sign that I'm running out of time. But still, I can't seem to kick the habit.
The other day, I mustered up the courage to see the doc. The news were relatively good, but I didn't feel it like that. Blood test good, troponin good, borderline triglycerides but it's because I don't eat well; some values above average but that are easily reversible with exercise and of course quitting smoking; nothing worrying except for the fact that I can't sleep on my sides, I can only sleep supine, I have developed reactive adenopathy (lymph nodes in my neck and chest) and there are times when I have been fucking drowned, with tachycardia and a burning sensation in my chest. Everything seems normal, and yet I keep getting tested because I haven't really felt well for a while.
The doc laid it out for me plain and simple: quit smoking or kiss my chances of survival goodbye, because even though I am young (28 years old) I am at the doors of getting seriously ill. But even faced with the reality of my own impending diseases, I couldn't do it.
So here I am, trapped in this prison of addiction, watching helplessly as my health deteriorates before my very eyes. And as I lie awake at night, coughing and wheezing, I can't help but wonder—. And as I lie awake at night, coughing and wheezing.
I don't know what the fuck to do and despite a lot of advice from the brocels here in the forum, I can't stop, even though I wake up every day wanting to quit forever.
Fast forward a few decades, and here I am, still puffing away like there's no tomorrow. But now, the consequences are catching up to me. My body's become a battleground, and smoking's the enemy within.
I've tried quitting more times than I can count. Nicotine patches, gum, even those fancy e-cigarettes—they're all just temporary fixes for a permanent problem. It's like I'm stuck in this endless cycle of addiction, unable to break free no matter how hard I try.
And the worst part? I know it's killing me. Every cough feels like a reminder of my own mortality, every wheeze a warning sign that I'm running out of time. But still, I can't seem to kick the habit.
The other day, I mustered up the courage to see the doc. The news were relatively good, but I didn't feel it like that. Blood test good, troponin good, borderline triglycerides but it's because I don't eat well; some values above average but that are easily reversible with exercise and of course quitting smoking; nothing worrying except for the fact that I can't sleep on my sides, I can only sleep supine, I have developed reactive adenopathy (lymph nodes in my neck and chest) and there are times when I have been fucking drowned, with tachycardia and a burning sensation in my chest. Everything seems normal, and yet I keep getting tested because I haven't really felt well for a while.
The doc laid it out for me plain and simple: quit smoking or kiss my chances of survival goodbye, because even though I am young (28 years old) I am at the doors of getting seriously ill. But even faced with the reality of my own impending diseases, I couldn't do it.
So here I am, trapped in this prison of addiction, watching helplessly as my health deteriorates before my very eyes. And as I lie awake at night, coughing and wheezing, I can't help but wonder—. And as I lie awake at night, coughing and wheezing.
I don't know what the fuck to do and despite a lot of advice from the brocels here in the forum, I can't stop, even though I wake up every day wanting to quit forever.
