I was raped last week. I was drinking a Frappie and feeling empowered at a local café here in Boston when I noticed this cute new barista handling some beans. He had like, soooo many tattoos and looked like a really bad boy criminal #sohawt lol. I caught him looking at me and we totally had a moment. It totally started tingling down in the ole’ Musky Mines—I needed a pickaxin’. So I made my way over to the counter and like really coyly asked if I could talk to him in the backroom about a new kind of bean—lol. He looked totally confused but was all like “sure” and he let me come through to the back. As soon as he’d closed the door, I bent over, hiked up my skirt and readied myself for impact, but then, to my, like, total surprise I didn’t feel anything enter. Instead, the dude started shouting “What the hell do you think you’re doing? This is extremely inappropriate, get the hell out of here before I call the cops!” Thinking he was joking, I grabbed his crotch, but he jolted and pushed me away, screaming, “Get out, NOW!” Humiliated and shocked that a person could do such a thing I walked back out, grabbed my stuff, and went home.
He made me feel so dirty—how dare he deny me sex? I was a horny woman who really wanted to have sex and this douche just refuses to fuck me? Wow. Just. Wow. Who does he think he is? How do you think that makes me feel? That’s right, violated. He’s not a real man.
You can’t possibly understand how hard it was. Here I was, wanting to have sex, and the guy I wanted to have sex with was denying me what I wanted. It was so bizarre, I’d never experienced anything like it. I couldn’t believe it, I had shown such courage by taking sexual initiative only to be turned down? DISEMPOWERING!! Denying me sex was his way of trying to regain patriarchal power over me, he was no doubt intimidated by a strong woman like myself, saying no was a desperate attempt to try to show that he was the boss. That’s as much a Patriarchal power move as rape—in fact, it is rape. Denying a woman sexual fulfillment is rape. He didn’t force me to have sex with him, but he forced me not to have sex with him when I really wanted to—this is obviously just as bad.
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