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Venting Cannot cope anymore with grades or other bullshit

L

Lebensmüder

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I fucking hate women still due to the entire shit in high school. I always thought I was doing nicely until I heard what some of these women were saying behind my back (he is mentally/physically abominable, he is ugly/has pimples, I hope I get transferred to a different class, etc.) - each day that passes I don't move away from that but think more and more about it.

In my first years in uni I genuinely tried to help others with their homework/etc. in the hope that I at least get friends only to find out that most of the men/women made fun about me behind my back. High school never truly ends, the macroscopical aggression (e.g. hitting you, open insults, open laughter) just gets better hidden and becomes microscopical. I also stopped to approach women roughly two years ago now, because I didn't want to risk losing my education or hurting my future perspectives (basically applied Pence Law), I thought I could go through university without a GF and just start dating later to get to a good point in life to start with (how wrong I was in the overestimation of my emotional/mental perseverance capacities, I am about to graduate and as angry/demotivated/etc. as I can be).

Funny how my mental gymnastics worked: "I have never dated in high school - so now I will date in university, at least I have good grades." This coping worked for the first few years of university where I indeed again excelled, but the motivation/joy about grades is bullshit anyways, because a) presentability/"real-world experience" (which means having been outside of my country, speaking other languages, being in a multitude of jobs, having many extracurricular activities, having a social network, etc.) matter more than grades (so normalfags not only mog me in private, but also in professional success) and b) what is the joy of getting a good grade compared to the joy of being intimate with a woman that loves you, he goes home to a woman that loves him and everything else is forgotten (while I only have people that demand utopian stuff from me at home and that even become angry when I get a B in a STEM subject). And then the realization that in university these whores are not only even more lookist, but also classist/ableist to an even higher degree (high school would be easier for getting a GF - because the standards only get up with attractiveness and most men -regardless of age- like girls in their 20s). Furthermore, nobody takes me serious anyways (without going out of my way to deliberately try to prove them wrong), I can explain stuff to people and they do the opposite (and then wonder why shit then goes south).

Nobody ever wanted to talk with me and I was not anywhere accepted except with the usage of inclusion bullshit (everywhere, not even elementary schools wanted to take me in as a child due to Autism/etc.) - I am tired of it all. It's getting harder and harder to focus. I only have these intrusive thoughts about it and constantly think about these things (e.g. being seen as undesirable by women, having nobody I can truly talk to about everything in life, etc.) whenever I have to work. There is no efficiency anymore within my work and things I considered as easy years ago now seem like insourmountable obstacles. I wish I had at least a good friend I could talk to, but this is how it is: People say always "Talk to me about everything" until you do and then when it isn't all faggy rainbow coloured they drop you as fast as a hot potato. Nowadays I also have many other problems apart from looks/Autism: I am genuinely not a good person in the slighest meaning of the word anymore and I also cannot interact with people anymore in a significant way, when somebody wants something from me I treat it as an annoying obligation, something you just have to do because it is the only thing that is really explicitely or implicitely allowed in that situation, they simply bother me (and this is although I started out as a friendly/extroverted child). I genuinely neither understand nor like people. The entire day I only talk to myself (also loudly).
 
You're tainted with the curse of self awareness just like everyone else here. Its harder to socialize when you realize that billions of people are living a government produced lie
 
High school mentality never ends, people just become slightly more subtle and sneaky

The one thing I've noticed the older I get is that all my copes are becoming less effective over time. There's only so much that distraction can achieve. Sooner or later your brain will be forced to realize the horrible situation you're in

And that's not even touching on shit like aging, norwooding, the world going to shit etc. Everything gets worse at an exponential rate
 
High school mentality never ends, people just become slightly more subtle and sneaky

The one thing I've noticed the older I get is that all my copes are becoming less effective over time. There's only so much that distraction can achieve. Sooner or later your brain will be forced to realize the horrible situation you're in

And that's not even touching on shit like aging, norwooding, the world going to shit etc. Everything gets worse at an exponential rate
Truly perfectly described.
You're tainted with the curse of self awareness just like everyone else here. Its harder to socialize when you realize that billions of people are living a government produced lie
 
I fucking hate women still due to the entire shit in high school. I always thought I was doing nicely until I heard what some of these women were saying behind my back (he is mentally/physically abominable, he is ugly/has pimples, I hope I get transferred to a different class, etc.) - each day that passes I don't move away from that but think more and more about it.

In my first years in uni I genuinely tried to help others with their homework/etc. in the hope that I at least get friends only to find out that most of the men/women made fun about me behind my back.
People see kindness as weakness. They'll relentlessly exploit you AND disrespect you for it

Kindness to normies == blood to a shark

Nobody ever wanted to talk with me and I was not anywhere accepted except with the usage of inclusion bullshit (everywhere, not even elementary schools wanted to take me in as a child due to Autism/etc.) - I am tired of it all. It's getting harder and harder to focus. I only have these intrusive thoughts about it and constantly think about these things (e.g. being seen as undesirable by women, having nobody I can truly talk to about everything in life, etc.) whenever I have to work. There is no efficiency anymore within my work and things I considered as easy years ago now seem like insourmountable obstacles. I wish I had at least a good friend I could talk to, but this is how it is: People say always "Talk to me about everything" until you do and then when it isn't all faggy rainbow coloured they drop you as fast as a hot potato. Nowadays I also have many other problems apart from looks/Autism: I am genuinely not a good person in the slighest meaning of the word anymore and I also cannot interact with people anymore in a significant way, when somebody wants something from me I treat it as an annoying obligation, something you just have to do because it is the only thing that is really explicitely or implicitely allowed in that situation, they simply bother me (and this is although I started out as a friendly/extroverted child). I genuinely neither understand nor like people. The entire day I only talk to myself (also loudly).
It's really tragic because I don't think any of us started out as dysfunctional or bitter. But loneliness and countless bad experiences are so mentally unhealthy, you're doomed to fail psychologically at some point, there's only so much one can take

You're tainted with the curse of self awareness just like everyone else here. Its harder to socialize when you realize that billions of people are living a government produced lie
:blackpill:
 
The only thing getting good grades is going to achieve you is your professors asking you to do more work (for free). Ie, exploit you. Femorrhoids don't care about "intelligence". They may slightly care about your "intelligence" provided you first satisfied the basal requirement, which is that you pass their looks threshold.
 
People see kindness as weakness. They'll relentlessly exploit you AND disrespect you for it

Kindness to normies == blood to a shark
Accurate af.
It's really tragic because I don't think any of us started out as dysfunctional or bitter. But loneliness and countless bad experiences are so mentally unhealthy, you're doomed to fail psychologically at some point, there's only so much one can take

The only thing getting good grades is going to achieve you is your professors asking you to do more work (for free). Ie, exploit you. Femorrhoids don't care about "intelligence". They may slightly care about your "intelligence" provided you first satisfied the basal requirement, which is that you pass their looks threshold.
This.
 
very brutal experience, relatable to a lot of users on this forum
 
No one takes you seriously because they equate looks with everything even being intelligent or a good person. Besides they don't even like seeing you be correct because they view you as inferior.

Grades are good if you care about money and buying material things. Money will never buy you respect or admiration from people. If people liked intelligent beings most influencers would be average or below average looking stem dudes. Instead they are all Tyrones and Chads that do silly dances or just stare at the camera.
 
I'm in same situation and corona only made it worse in terms that I really can't fucking stand normies anymore.

I legit get an allergic reaction when I see their behavior.
 
Very good post.
 
Are u ethnic or german?
 
??? What? How young you were when you entered university if you've already been there for a few years?! You are now only 20.

People in Finland go to university at much later ages than in the UK (just read about that), USA and Germany, for example. Finnish men in addition lose one year to mandatory military/civilian service. But only men, for foids it's voluntary only.

Why did you have delusions about finding a GF in university? I've never had any prospects and I've known it since being 5 year old (no typographical error). You are much more attractive than me, that is sure thing.
If people liked intelligent beings most influencers would be average or below average looking stem dudes
Well said.
 
??? What? How young you were when you entered university if you've already been there for a few years?! You are now only 20.

People in Finland go to university at much later ages than in the UK (just read about that), USA and Germany, for example. Finnish men in addition lose one year to mandatory military/civilian service. But only men, for foids it's voluntary only.

Why did you have delusions about finding a GF in university? I've never had any prospects and I've known it since being 5 year old (no typographical error). You are much more attractive than me, that is sure thing.

Well said.
Am nearly 22 now. Started with 18.
 
You're tainted with the curse of self awareness just like everyone else here. Its harder to socialize when you realize that billions of people are living a government produced lie
Normies won't even allow incels to be unaware of all this. They want to rub it in incels face, force them to acknowledge how things are stacked against them and taunt them about how they are powerless to do anything about it other than lashing out hopelessly on an individual level.
 

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