I encouraged my gf to use toys and basically cucked myself
Communication
Hey there,
I'm not sure how to handle our (me, 24m & her, 25f) current sex life.
Some context to start with: When it comes to orgasms, my girlfriend and I are at opposite ends of the spectrum. I cum pretty quickly, and she needs a lot of stimulation to reach orgasm. At the beginning of our relationship, we accepted this and still had very romantic and sensual sex. However, a few months ago, we decided to support each other in reducing the pressure during sex and increasing the chances of experiencing mutual orgasms. For me, we slowed down the pace, and I encouraged her to use some toys after intercourse. This worked well, and our sex life improved. We also started masturbating together to get to know each other better.
Now to my "problem": My girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with me at all anymore unless toys are involved. Even after romantic dates where we flirt constantly, the first mention of sex brings up comments about the toys. When we get to the point, we make out, undress, and she immediately takes out her toys from the drawer. She lies next to me and pleasures herself. Most of the time, I'm not allowed to touch her because it supposedly distracts her. As mentioned earlier, she takes a really long time to orgasm, so l often lie next to her motionless for 10 to 20 minutes until she cums or gives up. Then she lies there completely overstimulated and lets me have a quick go. There's not much romance left. Sometimes she starts with the toys again right after l've reached orgasm.
Yesterday, l'd had enough. After she once again reached for her toy at the height of intimacy and didn't orgasm after 20 minutes, she turned to me disappointed and said she'd quickly take care of me so she could continue. She listed three options (sex, bj, hj) for me unenthusiastically and then had a quick go with me.
After that, I finally brought it up with her, and she got very defensive and angry about it. I tried to explain that I miss the intimate time with her and that we're not building a real connection during sex anymore. I also told her I don't mind if she uses the toys at the beginning or the end and that I'm happy for her to have some extra fun. My concern is solely that the quality of our sex together has dropped significantly. She couldn't or wouldn't understand that. She accused me of only thinking about myself and told me to come up with a better solution if I don't like it.
Now I don't know what to do anymore. I want to give her the space to have her fun and explore herself. But now I just feel like another toy that needs to be quickly dealt with so she can continue. Honestly, I feel very emasculated. Do you have any advice for me/us?
Notice that OP doesn't mention the size of the toy... JFL... he already knows, but doesn't want to humiliate himself even further. Normies end up always NTRing themselves
