[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]>[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Edit: Done with the talk. I know that many of you will think this is a bad decision but We will try to keep going. I don't know how and if I can stand it, but it can't get much worse anyway and it feels like I can quit every time right now. I dropped a long and detailed report in the comments.[/font][/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]:O :'( :'( :'( :bigsmile: [/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]The talk is over. She's sleeping now, I am awake.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]This was the craziest talk in my life. Note that I was cheated before in nearly ALL my former relationships. It always meant the end for it, immediately. I know the feels. Well, there were no kids involved back then.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]However, it kept on being her biggest issue that I snooped her Whatsapp. Looking back, I am no longer sorry. The shit I read in the chat with him made it all real for me, much more real than just talking about suspicions. I had proof and she couldn't deny it all. I recommend collecting proof for anyone in the same situation. Make sure you know more about what's going on than your partner thinks you possibly COULD know. This will prevent them from lying to you when talking about it. You will know better and you can call out your partners bullshit. Enter the game with more and better cards.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I was calm as fuck in the beginning. She couldn't wait for our daughter to get in bed, wanted to lay her down earlier than normal and was nervous as hell. I took care of our child and took all the time we needed (as always). I even read her a book and my GF was not amused. Anyway, as soon as we started talking I calmly told her that I couldn't stay here, want to move out and wish to organize shit concerning our dog, kid and money as soon as possible.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]At this very moment, she changed. I guess she noticed I was serious about all this. That, this time, it wasn't one of my stupid talks when we were having a fight. That there was a hard reason for all this happening. I also asked her for how long it was going and what she had done if I didn't find out first. Best way to describe her reaction: A bubble popped. I think she lived in a fantasy in the last weeks. It was all fine. Good sex, a man who was interested in her and so on. She didn't think about how this could end. She literally had no plan. She didn't expect me to find out about it.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I replied that this would be fine for her. That I can't say I am happy for her but well, good luck, seems like you found your fortune. He gives you what I obviously can't, so let's get over this talk and try your best with him.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]This kind of made her tumble. She said that it stooped being "real good" the last few times they met. This made me pissy and feel like I'm being foolished. I know she was with him this fucking morning. I don't know if they had sex or just met, but you had breakfast and you brought stuff over to eat. I read it in the chat log, it was fresh, from today. She fucked him yesterday then proceeded to meet him him again today. Doesn't feel good anymore? Come on, are you kidding me?[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I asked her if she even knows that I loosely know the guy. If he maybe told her, if he even remembers me. I met him years ago, a 1- or 2-timer. Told her how I met him. He was flirting with my then-gf (a girl she knows and hates like hell, btw). That this dude is obviously still an asshole who doesn't give a fuck about other men's girls. I read in the log that he constantly asked her to come over over to our place when I wasn't home. What the actual fuck you sucker, our child is here! I told her that I didn't even need to read her chats to realize what was going on behind my back. And you know what? I told her that I will ask her questions about it in the next days and and expect her to give honest answers. If there's one thing I want to know, it's if this guy was at our place. If so, this would be a really big deal for me. Gonna ask her tomorrow.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]You know what? Adding up to all of this, before it all started today, she asked me if I would have a shift at work in the evening. She normally never asks this. It's in our shared Google calendar. If I would have made made a shift today, this guy would probably been over here. Fucking hell, thinking about it makes me sick. We had it multiple times, the DBR talk. We can't have sex because our daughter is sleeping next door? She could wake up? Okay. BUT ITS ALL RIGHT TO INVITE SOME OTHER DUDE OVER AND FUCK HIM? LIKE, RISKING THAT OUR DAUGHTER COMES IN, SEEING HER MOM HUMPING A STRANGER? That's something else on the list I still want to talk about. Those stupid double morals of her. Making me angry right now. Like really angry. With time passing today, the thoughts in my head slowly stop spinning and get clear.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]In the last weeks, I read his name, I noticed the missing handcuffs, I noticed her wearing thongs (what she didn't in years because she felt 'uncomfortable' in them after giving birth), I noticed her suddenly behaving different. Like there were no more fights and she seemed overall more relaxed and satisfied. That was enough for me to "know". God damn, our relationship lasts for 8 years now, you can't fool me about yourself.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]She was devastated. She wanted to share some details about how it all started, wanted to explain and tell me things about him, but I didn't want to hear it.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]She wanted to feel loved. Ladies and Gentleman - irony is that this is exactly the same that I wanted. Loved, with passion, by her and nobody else. And I was holding up besides all the bragging and neglection. In the end, it was NOT me who cheated. I agreed that our relationship became a very complicated downward spiral with both of us basically wanting the same but not finding a way to reach it. Well, she took the easy way.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]We cried a lot. She finally tried to get closer to me. First, I rejected, then I gave up. We actually had some kind of remorse-sex. I wanted to know what it feels like. If I think about what happened when we do it. I did. Sex was fine, but I don't know if I will ever get those thoughts out of my head. Him touching her. Her preparing for him. Pretty sure doing all the kinky stuff we stopped doing long ago.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I know she is down to the lowest point and hasn't anything to offer me. She completely relies on me now. It's my turn.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]so you people want to know how it ended. We want to try. And I mean try. I couldn't promise her anything. To much shit happened today. My head isn't clear and I can't say if I can cope with it. I already feel mistrust coming up - did she already tell him? Or what will he say him? Will she do a hard cut?[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I didn't ask her to do anything concerning this. I made no rules or anything yet. I wish she will do the first step and tell ME how SHE plans to end end the affair and how to make sure that I can be sure it's really over. I probably never really will. And I don't know know if I can stand that. I will let a few days slip and wait what her steps are. I personally have many questions left that I didn't ask yet. I feel strong enough - at least now - to stand it for a certain time. It can't get worse and I have developed a good mindset right now. We will see.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Thanks to all commenters. This is a great community that gave me a lot of strength today and in the last years. I did not feel alone. And I pretty sure will feed you people with more details, if possible with a stronger focus on how DBR and cheating are connected.[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: [/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]LOL HE GOT SEX ONCE AND HE'S GONNA TRY TO KEEP THAT WHORE[/font]
[font=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]LIFE FUEL[/font]
