While time has passed for me and during reflection, I've realized how hypocritical and down right stupid most of the members of my family really are. Whenever I wanted to engage in series conversations with my mother she would blow it off or talk down to me, once I wanted to talk about what duty meant because the word had meaning to me at the time and all she could say was "having a job is a duty", she said that on purpose without any thought. Every time I tried to talk to her the conversations are either silent or she talks lowly to me, we didn't have much in conversation and as a matter of fact most of it was very awkward. I did not have much of a healthy, balanced relationship with her; when I endured emotional and verbal abuse, she never did anything about it she kept on with the day as if it was okay (sincerely what a coward).
The men in this family are either unauthentic men or flat out psychologically blown out, they are out of it; the women are either in denial or masculine in the worst ways. I learned the hard way what it means to get to know people, the more I learned about my families history, the more I started to hate them; that in reality I don't really like them or want to be around them, they are honestly the most immoral pieces of garbage I have ever met. I wish I was never born to this family, because now I can't stand to be around my aunt, nor my other family members. The women in this family have the fattest mouth and have no honest care for the reality of circumstance, my aunt said once "sorry I'm not a doormat", referring to the women in this family who are married to men that are abusive and cruel to them, the elders call these women "diamonds", but I call them immoral trash.
One aunt told me "you are either a sucker or a motherfucker", once I started to listen and hear from her perspective and listen to the stories of my ancestors and the past she lives, I was out of it to such an extent that I simply said mentally "why the fuck do I even bother", imagine you are miserable and you keep adding on to it, this person is an example of misery personified, who lead men on and even used them food, washing her clothes, back rubs, movies, all the good things she manipulated and lied for and it repenteth her not for what she did. And you now what, what trash.
Now specifically to answer the title in whole, I get told by the elder to "Do it right" or "Did you shower & comb your hair?", today I got told that I better have such and such done by 3 PM; another moment is I get called just to be told "what are you doing?" after I wake up around 8 in the morning just to be told "oh your doing nothing?", I fucking despise her with a black heart. The worst was told I had to get a hair cut and after time passes I will have to find lodging else where.
The men in this family are either unauthentic men or flat out psychologically blown out, they are out of it; the women are either in denial or masculine in the worst ways. I learned the hard way what it means to get to know people, the more I learned about my families history, the more I started to hate them; that in reality I don't really like them or want to be around them, they are honestly the most immoral pieces of garbage I have ever met. I wish I was never born to this family, because now I can't stand to be around my aunt, nor my other family members. The women in this family have the fattest mouth and have no honest care for the reality of circumstance, my aunt said once "sorry I'm not a doormat", referring to the women in this family who are married to men that are abusive and cruel to them, the elders call these women "diamonds", but I call them immoral trash.
One aunt told me "you are either a sucker or a motherfucker", once I started to listen and hear from her perspective and listen to the stories of my ancestors and the past she lives, I was out of it to such an extent that I simply said mentally "why the fuck do I even bother", imagine you are miserable and you keep adding on to it, this person is an example of misery personified, who lead men on and even used them food, washing her clothes, back rubs, movies, all the good things she manipulated and lied for and it repenteth her not for what she did. And you now what, what trash.
Now specifically to answer the title in whole, I get told by the elder to "Do it right" or "Did you shower & comb your hair?", today I got told that I better have such and such done by 3 PM; another moment is I get called just to be told "what are you doing?" after I wake up around 8 in the morning just to be told "oh your doing nothing?", I fucking despise her with a black heart. The worst was told I had to get a hair cut and after time passes I will have to find lodging else where.
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