Being ND is worse than simply being sub5. If I got a girlfriend, I'd hate her

[D. B. Gooner]

Back when I was a kid and I had friends, after years of having a normal friendship, I would suddenly begin deeply resenting my friend, become very cold and almost mean, and keep doing that until they stopped interacting with me as much, then I would go back to being friendly and nice.

I fear that if I ever got a girlfriend, I would do the exact same thing. That is why I've been stalking my crush for months now, just walking past her without ever talking to her. The more distant she is, the more intense my love is, I feel like she is my soulmate. If she suddenly started expecting texts or affection from me, I would feel like she is burdening me with responsibility, and would start being blunt and annoyed at her.

And yet I crave nothing more than to be loved by a girl. It is literally all I live for. Having this state of mind is literal torture.

That's why being neurodivergent is worse than simply being ugly. You may pass the looks test, you may pass the "talking stage", but you will never be close to anyone because the very concept of a bond is threatening and feels like an attack on one's self. Being neurodivergent is the truest form of loneliness, because it is passive, not active. It isn't circumstantial, it is your baseline state of mind and it will never go away. Any kind gesture from a stranger will be interpreted in a negative light, any person whispering or giggling in your vicinity MUST be making fun of you.

Keep in mind, being ugly can lead to ridicule that could cause one to develop such a psychological disorder, I recognize that. But if we were to separate being ND from being ugly or being short, I think being ND is wayyy worse.

 

[PLS HALP ME]

Back when I was a kid and I had friends, after years of having a normal friendship, I would suddenly begin deeply resenting my friend, become very cold and almost mean, and keep doing that until they stopped interacting with me as much, then I would go back to being friendly and nice.

I fear that if I ever got a girlfriend, I would do the exact same thing. That is why I've been stalking my crush for months now, just walking past her without ever talking to her. The more distant she is, the more intense my love is, I feel like she is my soulmate. If she suddenly started expecting texts or affection from me, I would feel like she is burdening me with responsibility, and would start being blunt and annoyed at her.

And yet I crave nothing more than to be loved by a girl. It is literally all I live for. Having this state of mind is literal torture.

That's why being neurodivergent is worse than simply being ugly. You may pass the looks test, you may pass the "talking stage", but you will never be close to anyone because the very concept of a bond is threatening and feels like an attack on one's self. Being neurodivergent is the truest form of loneliness, because it is passive, not active. It isn't circumstantial, it is your baseline state of mind and it will never go away. Any kind gesture from a stranger will be interpreted in a negative light, any person whispering or giggling in your vicinity MUST be making fun of you.

Keep in mind, being ugly can lead to ridicule that could cause one to develop such a psychological disorder, I recognize that. But if we were to separate being ND from being ugly or being short, I think being ND is wayyy worse.

I'm neurodivergent and horrible.

 

[z_ro]

If you ever had a gf, she'd have to be extremely patient with you. I don't know how to put it, but if you look good, and let's say a noodlewhore treats you like a trophy and chases after you, then maybe you'd be fine.

 

[cirno369]

Nope, even if we were to remove the psychological disorders that could happen if you were ugly, being ugly is still significantly worse. At least normies are willing to help you if you are ND, or pity you, incels don't get these things. External factors make the world a miserable place, like people. Internal factors make the ND worse, which can be moderated with medications, treatment. It's a miserable life, but it is far better than something an incel would ever have

 

[rapetorturekill]

Autism is a cruel disease