Sure it's still annoying nonetheless, but at least it's something I can deal with, to an extent.
What's worse than being an Incel however, is feeling so far behind the vast majority of people my age, I feel I won't ever be able to catch up with them, and to be honest, I probably won't be able to.
My situation is like a watered down version of Darth Vader's after he got the suit.
The major differences being I'm not a Force user who has 2 kids.
Much like how Vader tried to act like he wasn't Anakin Skywalker in an attempt to forget about his past, I try my hardest not to think about my younger years and just focus on my job. This is due to the fact that whenever I reflect on how my younger years went, it either brings anger or sadness, or any combination of both.
And even before I realized I was BlackPilled, I had always been the depressed type, it just worsened after how badly my formative years fucked up.
In an effort to combat this, I focus on my job as it's the only thing that offers me any sense of accomplishment.
Despite my conscious effort to WageSlave as a method of distraction and coping, I'm reminded time and time again of how badly I failed in the past.
The first time it happened on a major scale was when my sister went to her 10th grade homecoming not too long ago.
I never got to experience that, so I was in a pretty bad mood that she got to and I didn't back then, as it was a formative experience that I missed out on.
Or other times are when I'm scrolling through social media and I see teens enjoying themselves and each other's company. And in those moments think to myself, "Why? Why do they get to have those moments that I didn't get to have?"
Worse too, is the fact I've been 5'6 for the past 5 1/2 years, meaning this is the height I'm stuck at for the rest of my life. Combine this with Pectus Excavatum, and you'll know why I hate having this body. And I use the term "body" loosely, because to me it's not so much a body as it is a flesh prison in which my soul is trapped until the day I draw my final breath.
All in all, I know that what awaits is a life consisting of mediocrity at best and total misery at worst. All I can do now is WageSlave and hope it's enough to keep me sustained.
What's worse than being an Incel however, is feeling so far behind the vast majority of people my age, I feel I won't ever be able to catch up with them, and to be honest, I probably won't be able to.
My situation is like a watered down version of Darth Vader's after he got the suit.
The major differences being I'm not a Force user who has 2 kids.
Much like how Vader tried to act like he wasn't Anakin Skywalker in an attempt to forget about his past, I try my hardest not to think about my younger years and just focus on my job. This is due to the fact that whenever I reflect on how my younger years went, it either brings anger or sadness, or any combination of both.
And even before I realized I was BlackPilled, I had always been the depressed type, it just worsened after how badly my formative years fucked up.
In an effort to combat this, I focus on my job as it's the only thing that offers me any sense of accomplishment.
Despite my conscious effort to WageSlave as a method of distraction and coping, I'm reminded time and time again of how badly I failed in the past.
The first time it happened on a major scale was when my sister went to her 10th grade homecoming not too long ago.
I never got to experience that, so I was in a pretty bad mood that she got to and I didn't back then, as it was a formative experience that I missed out on.
Or other times are when I'm scrolling through social media and I see teens enjoying themselves and each other's company. And in those moments think to myself, "Why? Why do they get to have those moments that I didn't get to have?"
Worse too, is the fact I've been 5'6 for the past 5 1/2 years, meaning this is the height I'm stuck at for the rest of my life. Combine this with Pectus Excavatum, and you'll know why I hate having this body. And I use the term "body" loosely, because to me it's not so much a body as it is a flesh prison in which my soul is trapped until the day I draw my final breath.
All in all, I know that what awaits is a life consisting of mediocrity at best and total misery at worst. All I can do now is WageSlave and hope it's enough to keep me sustained.
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