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Everywhere I go in uni, I see them, so adorable and innocent. I wish I could go up to then and just talk to them, I wish I felt comfortable around girls like most guys my age. This one girl in particular, I've crushed on for years, even though she acts entitled and has rejected me back in high school (she would mock me with her friends when I was around and is partly the reason I'm terrified of people's laughter, because I think it's directed towards me). She is your typical modern girl who spends her life on instagram and snapchat "getting streaks"; when we were younger, she told me she wants a guy like Justin Bieber (10/10 pretty boy with amazing personality). She also has a lot of narcissistic tendencies and I feel she avoids me on purpose (anyone with even a minimal understand of social cues can notice it). I've never ever treated her with disrespect, in fact I used to act like a beta cuck & white night around her back in middle and early high school (I was a blue pillar and thought being a nice guy was what girls liked). She was (and still is) so cute, she is slightly curvy and doesn't wear to much make up. Despite her treating me like a peasant, I can't help but want her and crush on her. It breaks my heart and makes me depressed knowing I'll never be with a girl like that. Im not asking for a 10/10 victoria secret model, she isn't conventionally attractive, she is a 7/10 but I don't know what it is about her that I like, I hate the fact that I'm into her, a shallow basic bitch. Her friends back in grade 8 made fun of me because I kept texting her and one of them said "she doesn't want you stop messaging her lmao", what's funny is that I know it isn't because of my personality, it's my big ugly moon face, just imagine if I was a pretty boy.
Girls who reject us may not even be that much of a bitch, they probably treat every decent looking man with respect as are maybe even nice to them. But due to me being a funny looking guy (Got rated 2-3/10 on okCupid back in March this year), she treats be badly.
A lot of people look down on me for relating to Elliot Rodger, I've talked to him with my mom and she was disgusted by him, so I refrained from telling her I relate to him. What makes this more bitter is that I'm uglier then Elliot, Elliot had facial symmetry, what stopped him was his narcissism and mild autism. I know I'm ugly, every time I went online (anywhere outside of incels) people would to say to roll with it or that I'm beautiful. Matter if fact is no, I'm ugly, and it really is the root of all my problems, my face is the reason I hate leaving my house, my face is the reason I'm insecure around girls, my face is the reason I'm depressed, my face Is the reason I will never be in a loving healthy relationship with a girl who loves me (you know like 98% of men).
I can't get this girl out of my head, I've got many classes with her this semester and I try to avoid her but she distracts me, she hates me, yet I like her. I really wish we could control who we had feelings for, my life would be infinitely easier that way.
Why didn't god make us equal? I don't understand, I know it's something that people expect us to just accept but we got the bottom end of the stick, we are the ones suffering, not them.
Girls who reject us may not even be that much of a bitch, they probably treat every decent looking man with respect as are maybe even nice to them. But due to me being a funny looking guy (Got rated 2-3/10 on okCupid back in March this year), she treats be badly.
A lot of people look down on me for relating to Elliot Rodger, I've talked to him with my mom and she was disgusted by him, so I refrained from telling her I relate to him. What makes this more bitter is that I'm uglier then Elliot, Elliot had facial symmetry, what stopped him was his narcissism and mild autism. I know I'm ugly, every time I went online (anywhere outside of incels) people would to say to roll with it or that I'm beautiful. Matter if fact is no, I'm ugly, and it really is the root of all my problems, my face is the reason I hate leaving my house, my face is the reason I'm insecure around girls, my face is the reason I'm depressed, my face Is the reason I will never be in a loving healthy relationship with a girl who loves me (you know like 98% of men).
I can't get this girl out of my head, I've got many classes with her this semester and I try to avoid her but she distracts me, she hates me, yet I like her. I really wish we could control who we had feelings for, my life would be infinitely easier that way.
Why didn't god make us equal? I don't understand, I know it's something that people expect us to just accept but we got the bottom end of the stick, we are the ones suffering, not them.
