I remember being 16 or 17 and "almost a man" in my Dad's eyes. I forgot the reason but someone in my family was making fun of my short hands and I commented back that my hands aren't that small. I put my hands next to my mother and my own mother had bigger hands than me. Let's not even get into how big my Dad's hands were in comparison to mine. He has high T and obviously I didn't.
I remember years afterwards she was asleep or busy or something and I just quickly brushed my hand up to hers to see if I grew. I didn't. Still have baby hands except now they are fat fucking sausages. I also remember in high school we did wingspan tests for basketball I believe. All the other kids, and some of the girls, had bigger wingspans than me and had higher vertical jumps than me. I was dead last for males and only beat out like 3 females out of 20. Mind you I was /fit/ back in high school I just wasn't athletic.
Really almost brought me to tears on many days. I remember for our Junior/Senior contest some of the guys were going to perform some cheerleader shit. I tried to volunteer so I could get in good with a group of girls and at least be able to touch them. I went to a small shitty school. The girls weren't exactly cheerleader types but all the Chads in my Junior year were able to carry them no problem. No girl wanted to get on my shoulders so instead the committee had me test my strength with the smallest guy on the team. I couldn't even lift that fucker up on my shoulders and we both fell. And the majority of girls were heavier than he was. I felt like such a tool and a loser. And a fag to have some other guy's balls on my neck.
I tried so many things as a youth and in so many ways to get friends. To get people to like me. To get a girlfriend. To no avail. Everything for naught. I am a monster.
