they notice and acknowledge everything about you... except you
They sure as shit would notice me if i farted on their doorstep
just being ignored is fucking brootal. Sometimes what I say is ignored too.
I know. it's fucking brutal. I was in a group activity where we had to memorize symboys in under 1 minute, they were all googly eyeing the paper trying to collect them all, like dumbasses... I was like "hey, let's each memorize a row" SILENCE. 5 seconds later some fucking bitch was like "Hey, I think someone said to memoriez a row each" and I was like "yeah, I said that" Literal silence again.
This isn't even a one time occurrence.
I was part of an asian club and offered a caligraphy workshop idea for new years celebration we were hosting. SILENCE. literally no one picked up. 2 meetings later some chinese dude (nothing against him tbh) says the same thing and BOOM, their eyes light up. do you know how that makes a person feel? I was like "I literally said that 2 meetings ago?" some faggot chuckled.
The worst one was when I was a part of this internship at a very prestigious institution and 2 staff members were guiding a group activity for data analysis... We had to figure out how to do something with the data to find a certain type of data. I raised my hand and looked at the indian staff member "we should implement standard deviations" and she said "you have to adjust the methodology for the yada yada..." to which I responded "oh okay, I see" and I realized she actually thought like me (I didn't know what it was that we shared, but it was being autistic)... then some basic becky says the same thing but to the NT staff member and it's like that staff member seas heaven for the first time, her eyes literally lit up. WTF?? I immediately look at the indian staff member because It's like the orld is against me, but she's equally confused, and just before the indian staff member goes something like "uhh, actually that's not quite rig-" the NT staff member shares the becky's discovery and everyone congratulates her. Then all our sub groups form into our internship cohort and everyone congratulates her... WTF??
The most hilarious ones is when some faggot classamets ignored when I said "-180 + 90" is the same as "90 - 180" when doing trigonometry. The teacher comes along and says EXACTLY. WHAT. I SAID.
Shit like this is what makse me want to do my work alone, not only so I don't get my ideas stolen, but also so that if anyone is going to applaud or congratulate the idea, they're going to have to refer to me. I'm fucking tired of that crap. I want to be wanted for my own sake, not as a means to an end.
As much as the autistic female tiktok community bugs me, they do have a point when they say that we give off the uncanny valley even if it's through our facial structure. I think it's our difference in ontological physical coordination that gives us away, since our cerebellum is smaller.
everyone hates me and i feel it 24/7
Read every word. Brutal.
even the NT autistic staff member was ignored when she almost spoke up to why becky's solution was wrong. EVEN HER. and we live in a gynocentrist society. us incels have no love, but this example shows that us autistics have no attention.
In highschool I never bothered with group work. Either I'd do everything or I'd let the others work without me.
Some people are simply not cut out for dealing with normies.
ughh I fucking hate group work. I could easily do 70 people's work alone, people just slow me down.
All they do is pretend they want me for me, then toss me aside when we're done.
J
They don't even notice or acknowledge my meer presence
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