I was like 16, had no way to label it, now after reading all this, I see it was the blackpill. I knew something wasn't right. Maybe it was depression/adolescent anxiety, but I now see it was this. This was when all the stories about hookups IE 12 year olds giving blowjobs started to pop up. HBO, when I had cable, did a special on this. Wow. Did it not help. I hadn't even kissed someone let alone sex. It ate me up. I had no release from it.