Fucking hell, I've figured the same to be true. I've noticed that autistic foids usually end up with a NT guy anyway. I'm not even sure what's keeping me from roping anymore. Idk how other guys with aspergers can live like this. I have no functional copes and hedonism doesn't work for me.
How do you do it? Why continue to rot, alone?
That's a very good question. I think that at age 38, with no family now, with no friend or girlfriend or child, I'm kind of stuck in a infinite cycle of days doing nothing at all but eating and playing video games.
As the greatest pleasures in my life have gone far away since a long time, only the small pleasures stay, like a cup of coffee, a chill video game, building a Lego set, feeling the warmth of the Sun on my face, falling asleep while watching the stream of a guy on Faster Than Light, imaginating I'm a pirate captain. And going to the toy store to watch all those colorful Lego boxes.
All those little things made you enjoy day-to-day life even if your life on a global basis is an absolute failure.
And also, I don't try to be normal anymore, I don't try to find love, I no longer say those Lego boxes are not for me. I... accept my life.
Yesterday I had a huge pain in the chest. I know I'll die alone here, much sooner than the average life expectancy.
But getting old is not important, because when you live alone since 38 years, it's like living 120 years. Like the UK Oasis rock band said in the song "Half the World Away" : "My body feels young but my mind is very old".
I also believe in God, and I know I'll go to Heaven, so I'm at peace with disappearing from this world. People are obsessed with the idea of letting a mark of their passage on Earth. But that's cope. You disappear, and 200 years from now, nobody on Earth will even remember you just existed. I fully realized that when I saw on Youtube the video of people caught on camera in 1900 in New York City. All the people caught on camera are now dead.
Other people took their social roles, their appartments, their jobs, their belongings.
You make a big step in life once you abandon the idea of letting anything behind once you're gone.