Welcome to Incels.is - Involuntary Celibate Forum

Welcome! This is a forum for involuntary celibates: people who lack a significant other. Are you lonely and wish you had someone in your life? You're not alone! Join our forum and talk to people just like you.

Serious Are there subjects you want to be good in but where you constantly fail?

L

Lebensmüder

Soon to be deleted account
★★★
Joined
Aug 21, 2018
Posts
5,202
Apart from the obvious stuff with women. I have many subjects where I wanted to be good in but where I constantly failed and gave up.

Some of the subjects:
  • programming: constantly wanted to become better in it but I constantly fail, I cannot motivate myself and then start anew only to become frustrated after a short while, was shitty in programming since school, constantly I try to become better in it, because it's a requirement nowadays for any job but I am constantly overtaxed with even simple tasks
  • math: especially everything related to geometry/vectors
  • physics/engineering: cannot understand them, spatial thinking is definetely not my strength, I hate vectors too, there are almost no subjects in physics which I am good in despite trying to become better in it, even the simplest tasks in optics/electricity are far above my intelligence (cannot read circuits to save my life), also cannot understand how technology works (like car engines)
  • music: cannot understand how it works, both on a theoretical/practical basis, tried to learn the guitar over years, but failed because of shitty/slow hand movements, previously tried the flute as a child and failed there too, also cannot sing
  • sports: fail both theoretically/practically, cannot understand how certain movements work, I look at them but cannot recreate them, tried to gymmaxx but did everything wrong, when somebody tries to help I cannot recreate the movement, it's for me not understandable both on an intellectual/practical level, am a complete failure in lifting and cannot gain any muscle mass, have a shitty lung that fails under too cold conditions and in the summer due to allergies, am slower than morbidly obese people when it comes to running (even my >50-year-old boomer parents who are both not in a good shape healthmog me and are fitter than me), cannot jump (suffered a head injury in buck vaulting), cannot dodge or catch something (nearly broke my nose in dodge ball), etc.
  • biology: even though I spent my entire life trying to learn that I am still mogged by many people in it, am shitty in anatomy or when it comes to spatial thinking on molecular scales (like molecule structure), I can learn stuff by hard, but cannot apply/understand it, I suck at species identification despite having read books about it since a child, I am also mogged easily because I know nothing about the modern stuff (in systematics for example) and know everything from older books, it's brutal when you see that you even suck in the thing you wanted to dedicate your life too, veterinary medicine/taxidermy also doesn't work because of shitty hand coordination (my dissection attempts look more like a Jack the Ripper like mutilation than clean/precise work), I am also shitty when it comes through seeing smaller stuff due to having eye problems, the worst thing that this is the subject I am best in (and I am even below average in it)
In the end I also have no desire to self-improve anymore at this point, because it would be fruitless anyways. In my job I realised that I will forever be below average in both theoretical and practical stuff and that my work will never make a difference. Acceptance is the only thing that changed in the last few years. The worst thing was going from school to university and realising that (especially in the higher semesters) mediocre intelligence at best cannot be fully compensated with discipline anymore.
 
I would like to read deeper into history but cannot find the time due to STEM stuff at uni.
 
In the end I also have no desire to self-improve anymore at this point, because it would be fruitless anyways. In my job I realised that I will forever be below average in both theoretical and practical stuff and that my work will never make a difference. Acceptance is the only thing that changed in the last few years. The worst thing was going from school to university and realising that (especially in the higher semesters) mediocre intelligence at best cannot be fully compensated with discipline anymore.
Why do you want to develop yourself in these fields in the first place? What's the motivation? Your motivation to improve in any of these things has to be intrinsic: the raw act of studying the discipline or writing code or producing music needs to be rewarding to you. The motivation has to be far from external validation as possible, otherwise you will quit prematurely because you're not getting rewarded sufficiently in the beginning stages.

You gave a lot of reasons for why you're not very good at any of these things, but ask yourself if you spent an equal amount of time practicing them as the people that mog you. In my experience, discipline is more important for the first 5 years or so of learning something, and only then will your intelligence or affinity towards something separate you from others. I thought I could never play the guitar but I stuck to it because I enjoyed making music. I'm never going to be a professional but I'm a lot better than I thought I could ever be.
 
I like programming.
what are you struggling in brocel? let me try and help you
also, math is a cunt I dont understand it either
 
Math in general, although I'm slowly improving.
General mechanics.
General electric stuff.
Computer programming.
Better at using tools for home maintenance, production, and building things.
Metal working.
Business and stock investments.
Socializing or general social interaction with others.
Conversing in useless conversational banter with the majority of the world's dumb dumbs. [I suck at this.]


I also want to refine my hunting, trapping, tracking, and fishing skills in case I ever find myself in a situation that I need them more. I suppose that would include herbalism as well concerning applied primitive medicines or therapeutics in the wild. I've thought about getting into botany too.

Lastly, I really want to get better at weight lifting because I'm very self conscious in how I look in appearance to others and right now I don't feel very self confident in that department.
 
Last edited:
So like sometimes you even tho you try hard you can't understand some simple things?
Why do you want to develop yourself in these fields in the first place? What's the motivation? Your motivation to improve in any of these things has to be intrinsic: the raw act of studying the discipline or writing code or producing music needs to be rewarding to you. The motivation has to be far from external validation as possible, otherwise you will quit prematurely because you're not getting rewarded sufficiently in the beginning stages.
Yes, to a certain degree - at least not as much as I want to. The problem in physics/coding already affects very basal stuff (I barely can use it and have to think all the time, I barely pass the exams/work setting, these subjects were problems in school already), in other stuff like biology/statistics I am slightly above average and even a "professional", but not as good as I want to be (I only compare myself to the absolute best colleagues/students in that field and am asthonished by my own mediocrity compared to them, am also extremely frustrated when I have to read stuff by real mathematicians and not just by "users" - after a certain while I resignate).
The thing is: My work is sufficient (according to exams/etc.) and sometimes even above average, but I am not content with it which frustrates me immensely. Even when a failure isn't considered as a failure, but decent work by others I become enormously frustrated by very small mistakes/flaws (sometimes that feeling lasts for years). The thing is that I probably took that stuff from my parents who were very nice/good, but also humiliated me for months over minor mistakes as a running gag and taught me that there was no excuse for non-performance at all.
And also with purely intrinsic motivation (like private stuff/hobbies) I simply have the tendency to be extremely strict with myself.
I would like to read deeper into history but cannot find the time due to STEM stuff at uni.
Brutal. Same. The worst thing about STEM is that you burn out.
I like programming.
what are you struggling in brocel? let me try and help you
also, math is a cunt I dont understand it either
Thanks for the offer tbh, it's not an immediate danger in the moment for me, because I only do it for myself (I just don't meet my own arbitrary goals).
You gave a lot of reasons for why you're not very good at any of these things, but ask yourself if you spent an equal amount of time practicing them as the people that mog you. In my experience, discipline is more important for the first 5 years or so of learning something, and only then will your intelligence or affinity towards something separate you from others. I thought I could never play the guitar but I stuck to it because I enjoyed making music. I'm never going to be a professional but I'm a lot better than I thought I could ever be.
Glad that you enjoy it. Also have accepted it that I will never become a professional in some subjects (like arachnology/botany for example), I still enjoy it though. The same thing for photography. But in some subjects where I really want to be good in, I fail too often (like for example with Asian Pitvipers/Trimeresurus formerly, they are considered to be extremely difficult to distinguish and there are only few experts in them and I am extremely sad/frustrated because my own skill level isn't enough to successfully say which animal is which, I can distinguish some species, but fail in others routinely or simply have to guess) - with reptiles I am very ambitious and everything that isn't the best is for me intolerable (this isn't even my job, but my private stuff). Thanks for the great comment tbh, very well formulated and good to hear.
Math in general, although I'm slowly improving.
General mechanics.
General electric stuff.
Computer programming.
Better at using tools for home maintenance, production, and building things.
Metal working.
Business and stock investments.
Socializing or general social interaction with others.
Conversing in useless conversational banter with the majority of the world's dumb dumbs. [I suck at this.]


I also want to refine my hunting, trapping, tracking, and fishing skills in case I ever find myself in a situation that I need them more. I suppose that would include herbalism as well concerning applied primitive medicines or therapeutics in the wild. I've thought about getting into botany too.

Lastly, I really want to get better at weight lifting because I'm very self conscious in how I look in appearance to others and right now I don't feel very self confident in that department.
Based. Am also into much of the stuff you mentioned. Good luck.
 
i wish i had something i wanted to be good at but i have literally no motivation to do anything at all
 
i wish i had something i wanted to be good at but i have literally no motivation to do anything at all
This , i also have this feeling it simply stems from when one tries to improve in a subject but constantly fails
joaquin phoenix smile GIF

Yes, to a certain degree - at least not as much as I want to. The problem in physics/coding already affects very basal stuff (I barely can use it and have to think all the time, I barely pass the exams/work setting, these subjects were problems in school already), in other stuff like biology/statistics I am slightly above average and even a "professional", but not as good as I want to be (I only compare myself to the absolute best colleagues/students in that field and am asthonished by my own mediocrity compared to them, am also extremely frustrated when I have to read stuff by real mathematicians and not just by "users" - after a certain while I resignate).
The thing is: My work is sufficient (according to exams/etc.) and sometimes even above average, but I am not content with it which frustrates me immensely. Even when a failure isn't considered as a failure, but decent work by others I become enormously frustrated by very small mistakes/flaws (sometimes that feeling lasts for years). The thing is that I probably took that stuff from my parents who were very nice/good, but also humiliated me for months over minor mistakes as a running gag and taught me that there was no excuse for non-performance at all.
And also with purely intrinsic motivation (like private stuff/hobbies) I simply have the tendency to be extremely strict with myself.

Brutal. Same. The worst thing about STEM is that you burn out.

Thanks for the offer tbh, it's not an immediate danger in the moment for me, because I only do it for myself (I just don't meet my own arbitrary goals).

Glad that you enjoy it. Also have accepted it that I will never become a professional in some subjects (like arachnology/botany for example), I still enjoy it though. The same thing for photography. But in some subjects where I really want to be good in, I fail too often (like for example with Asian Pitvipers/Trimeresurus formerly, they are considered to be extremely difficult to distinguish and there are only few experts in them and I am extremely sad/frustrated because my own skill level isn't enough to successfully say which animal is which, I can distinguish some species, but fail in others routinely or simply have to guess) - with reptiles I am very ambitious and everything that isn't the best is for me intolerable (this isn't even my job, but my private stuff). Thanks for the great comment tbh, very well formulated and good to hear.

Based. Am also into much of the stuff you mentioned. Good luck.
Tbh it sounds more like you put higher standards for yourself , thats a giid thing but you shouldnt become too disillusioned.

Another point is mediocrity , tbh this one is brutal , once you realize that youre not as good or below average (compared to chads and stacies who just put in half the amount of work that you put in )its a brutal mental attack on yourself but i just ignore others and just try to focus on myself although i must admit i still strive to become among the best , its an inner feeling that comes whever im interested in something .

i wish i could become better in MATHS and PHYSICS
 
This , i also have this feeling it simply stems from when one tries to improve in a subject but constantly fails
joaquin phoenix smile GIF


Tbh it sounds more like you put higher standards for yourself , thats a giid thing but you shouldnt become too disillusioned.

Another point is mediocrity , tbh this one is brutal , once you realize that youre not as good or below average (compared to chads and stacies who just put in half the amount of work that you put in )its a brutal mental attack on yourself but i just ignore others and just try to focus on myself although i must admit i still strive to become among the best , its an inner feeling that comes whever im interested in something .
This is completely accurate and very well formulated. This feeling is sometimes incredibly brutal, but it's also what keeps someone going against all odds.
The situation is ambivalent, on one side it's the fuel that keeps someone going/occupied and on the other side it's also the source of suffering.
i wish i could become better in MATHS and PHYSICS
Hope you manage to do it, man.
 
The thing is: My work is sufficient (according to exams/etc.) and sometimes even above average, but I am not content with it which frustrates me immensely. Even when a failure isn't considered as a failure, but decent work by others I become enormously frustrated by very small mistakes/flaws (sometimes that feeling lasts for years).
I can only imagine how exhausting it has to be to never be happy with your abilities, regardless of performance. You are obviously intelligent for having a proficient understanding in such a wide array of disciplines. Would you feel better about yourself if you were world-class at any of these things, or do you think perfectionism would still harass you?

Most people at the top are not necessarily the best at X, rather they are the best at a specific combination of skills (X, Y, and Z). This mix of proficiency in multiple areas is equally rewarding and produces great scholarly and artistic work. As an example, I don't think I'm in the top 1% of programmers nor 3d artists in the world but I know my way around both of these things, allowing me to create games. If I choose the skillset I wish to grow in I can actually become world-class at that specific skillset. Such an endeavour would involve the fulfilling process of producing something truly marvellous.

I don't mean to give advice because I'm just a retard on the internet but if I were you I would look at the bigger picture and think about what I really enjoy and what puts me in the flow state. What can you do that makes you feel the least bad about yourself when you inevitably fail. In any case, I applaud you for your desire to ascend mediocrity.
 
I can only imagine how exhausting it has to be to never be happy with your abilities, regardless of performance. You are obviously intelligent for having a proficient understanding in such a wide array of disciplines. Would you feel better about yourself if you were world-class at any of these things, or do you think perfectionism would still harass you?

Most people at the top are not necessarily the best at X, rather they are the best at a specific combination of skills (X, Y, and Z). This mix of proficiency in multiple areas is equally rewarding and produces great scholarly and artistic work. As an example, I don't think I'm in the top 1% of programmers nor 3d artists in the world but I know my way around both of these things, allowing me to create games. If I choose the skillset I wish to grow in I can actually become world-class at that specific skillset. Such an endeavour would involve the fulfilling process of producing something truly marvellous.

I don't mean to give advice because I'm just a retard on the internet but if I were you I would look at the bigger picture and think about what I really enjoy and what puts me in the flow state. What can you do that makes you feel the least bad about yourself when you inevitably fail. In any case, I applaud you for your desire to ascend mediocrity.
To answer your question: Would probably feel good for a few moments/days and then I would have problems again (e.g. fear of losing that position), even the taste of victory (like getting a good grade/etc.) was temporary for me. And tbh: Thanks for the nice words. Btw the best advice I ever got was from other retards on the internet like me. I find your mindset based and I hope you keep enjoying the things you do.
 
I have already accepted I suck at many things and tend to focus on things I don't think I suck so badly at.
 
Computer science, graphic design and art I guess.
 
Apart from the obvious stuff with women. I have many subjects where I wanted to be good in but where I constantly failed and gave up.

Some of the subjects:
  • programming: constantly wanted to become better in it but I constantly fail, I cannot motivate myself and then start anew only to become frustrated after a short while, was shitty in programming since school, constantly I try to become better in it, because it's a requirement nowadays for any job but I am constantly overtaxed with even simple tasks
  • math: especially everything related to geometry/vectors
  • physics/engineering: cannot understand them, spatial thinking is definetely not my strength, I hate vectors too, there are almost no subjects in physics which I am good in despite trying to become better in it, even the simplest tasks in optics/electricity are far above my intelligence (cannot read circuits to save my life), also cannot understand how technology works (like car engines)
  • music: cannot understand how it works, both on a theoretical/practical basis, tried to learn the guitar over years, but failed because of shitty/slow hand movements, previously tried the flute as a child and failed there too, also cannot sing
  • sports: fail both theoretically/practically, cannot understand how certain movements work, I look at them but cannot recreate them, tried to gymmaxx but did everything wrong, when somebody tries to help I cannot recreate the movement, it's for me not understandable both on an intellectual/practical level, am a complete failure in lifting and cannot gain any muscle mass, have a shitty lung that fails under too cold conditions and in the summer due to allergies, am slower than morbidly obese people when it comes to running (even my >50-year-old boomer parents who are both not in a good shape healthmog me and are fitter than me), cannot jump (suffered a head injury in buck vaulting), cannot dodge or catch something (nearly broke my nose in dodge ball), etc.
  • biology: even though I spent my entire life trying to learn that I am still mogged by many people in it, am shitty in anatomy or when it comes to spatial thinking on molecular scales (like molecule structure), I can learn stuff by hard, but cannot apply/understand it, I suck at species identification despite having read books about it since a child, I am also mogged easily because I know nothing about the modern stuff (in systematics for example) and know everything from older books, it's brutal when you see that you even suck in the thing you wanted to dedicate your life too, veterinary medicine/taxidermy also doesn't work because of shitty hand coordination (my dissection attempts look more like a Jack the Ripper like mutilation than clean/precise work), I am also shitty when it comes through seeing smaller stuff due to having eye problems, the worst thing that this is the subject I am best in (and I am even below average in it)
In the end I also have no desire to self-improve anymore at this point, because it would be fruitless anyways. In my job I realised that I will forever be below average in both theoretical and practical stuff and that my work will never make a difference. Acceptance is the only thing that changed in the last few years. The worst thing was going from school to university and realising that (especially in the higher semesters) mediocre intelligence at best cannot be fully compensated with discipline anymore.
Engineering and university lessons,I want to pass them but I can’t
 

Similar threads

imugly
Replies
8
Views
158
imugly
imugly
Foremostfiend
Replies
6
Views
250
ItsJoeverNigga
ItsJoeverNigga
Michael15651
Replies
12
Views
226
ItsovERfucks
ItsovERfucks
RealSchizo
Replies
22
Views
309
victimofBlkpillreap
victimofBlkpillreap
Dr. Autismo
Replies
3
Views
115
RandomGuy
RandomGuy

Users who are viewing this thread

shape1
shape2
shape3
shape4
shape5
shape6
Back
Top