I had to go outside to buy some drops for my infected red eye. And I took a look at myself in a mirror in the pharmacy.
God damn I look like a hungover crackwhore. And I haven't had a drop of even alcohol for years.
It's all a bunch of factors that contribute to it. My acne, which I even went to the doctor for, is all over my head and slightly less nowadays on my face too. There's acne scars, there's a few pimples on my forehead/cheeks, most have faded weeks/months ago but still leave a sort of weird purple color on my face. There's the permanent redness for a weirder type of acne under/on my nose, that I have to pop every single day. There's the black and purple bags under my eyes, from spending all my waking hours on the PC. There's my two front teeth that were chipped and cracked and have shitty fillings. There's also my hair which was clipped down to the minimum weeks ago, cause I'm like NW4 by now and anything else looks even more pathetic. And when it grows I kinda look like an emaciated hedgehog. My lips are cracked as fuck. I guess I should shave my beard too cause it looks like shit. Ohh I forgot the glasses which are thick as fuck cause my vision is shit.
Anyway, all these things would be fixable with a lot more money. And more energy, but I barely have the energy to get out of bed, much less go out and make money to fix all this shit.
And I would fix them, if that meant I wouldn't be ugly anymore. But even if I fixed them, I would just look like an older version of the 19 year old me, who had less of these flaws but was still an ugly loser.
God damn I look like a hungover crackwhore. And I haven't had a drop of even alcohol for years.
It's all a bunch of factors that contribute to it. My acne, which I even went to the doctor for, is all over my head and slightly less nowadays on my face too. There's acne scars, there's a few pimples on my forehead/cheeks, most have faded weeks/months ago but still leave a sort of weird purple color on my face. There's the permanent redness for a weirder type of acne under/on my nose, that I have to pop every single day. There's the black and purple bags under my eyes, from spending all my waking hours on the PC. There's my two front teeth that were chipped and cracked and have shitty fillings. There's also my hair which was clipped down to the minimum weeks ago, cause I'm like NW4 by now and anything else looks even more pathetic. And when it grows I kinda look like an emaciated hedgehog. My lips are cracked as fuck. I guess I should shave my beard too cause it looks like shit. Ohh I forgot the glasses which are thick as fuck cause my vision is shit.
Anyway, all these things would be fixable with a lot more money. And more energy, but I barely have the energy to get out of bed, much less go out and make money to fix all this shit.
And I would fix them, if that meant I wouldn't be ugly anymore. But even if I fixed them, I would just look like an older version of the 19 year old me, who had less of these flaws but was still an ugly loser.
