Anyone here have CPTSD? I got fucked by childhood trauma

[thegrandintegrator]

I have cPTSD, and am completely incapacitated by it. extreme anxiety and health issues. Makes me feel extremely lonely and ropey

 

[Deleted member 41988]

I have the same problem, I can thank my dad for this

 

[thegrandintegrator]

I have the same problem, I can thank my dad for this

that sucks… have u found anything to help it? @InMinecraft

 

[Deleted member 41988]

that sucks… have u found anything to help it? @InMinecraft

no, I cope but the missing love of a parent can't be replaced

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Yes.

My mother, as kind as she may be, used to grab me very forcefully(By the neck, as I was fidgeting with items; I would ache from it) and repeatedly tell me "Do you hear me!?! If people see you doing that, they will think you are men-tally retar-ded!" while shaking me and shaking the item near my eyes. She would tell me how embarrassing it is to have an autistic son who fidgets with items as a form of stimulation. Other times, she would hit me. When I said, "Please don't hit me!" once, she started laughing.

When I was a four-year-old, my parents and I lived in a duplex, where my father would hit Mother and damage the walls, resulting in holes near a wooden desk she used for sewing. I recall pouring soap in my eyes at this age to stop them from arguing.

When we moved, my father would regularly come home and argue with Mother over anything he disliked. He broke the windows in our living room as well as the windows in our kitchen, he broke a "Leopard Statue", he broke our kitchen table, he broke plates, he threw Mother's computer and clothes into the garbage bin. He'd regularly pound on Mother's room door(Used for crafts). He'd yell at Mother as he was driving her to work.


One day, Mother was asked by my father to write a check, which she did. However, he was angry because she was drying off after a shower. This led him to shove her onto the floor(She was naked) and kick her legs repeatedly, which I was present for and saw. He also broke her fingers and cut her knuckles, injured her knees and kicked her abdomen.

I lived in a youth commune for some time. There, I was harassed/bullied by Tyrone and Chadlito. Tyrone took pictures of my naked body(I was in the male bathroom cleaning myself) and started laughing at my child-like appearance and fairly small phallus size with his roommate. He also threw dice at my room door each night and would play loud "rap" music at maximum volume to disturb me.
Chadlito, however, was much more subtle. He would peak into my room and, on occasion, steal my items. He also liked to gossip about me("He's a weirdo", "He's a freak", "He puts food in bags and goes outside to eat alone") and especially loved recording me. This led to him recording me while I was sleeping(I have sexsomnia), which led to the shelter boys/girls laughing at my "sexual speech". Note that the shelter girls had already mocked me previously for my feminine voice and autistic, avoidant behavior.


Because my case manager divulged my ASD diagnosis freely, I was a prime target for bullying and abuse from other youth. Chadlito eventually tried to have me evicted from the commune, which happened after I started staying in my commune room most of the time to avoid being shoved into desks by him(Demonstrating his "machismo" against an innocent aspie).


It is painful to have ASD, MDD, GAD, PTSD(It was already present from childhood trauma), and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria/RSD. I would've likely roped if not for my obsessive fantasizing from ASD.

 

[Stonersperg]

Yeah my dad hit me on the head when I was 4, I was forced to take many different jewpills startimg around 6, some of which had billions of dollars of lawsuits, made me obese and fucked my brain up even more, did too much lsd and saw a vision of myself getting tortured in hell and saw people watching me through TV screens in my room and laughing which gave me schizophrenia, the TV and media gives me many signs and messages now

 

[lifesucksxd]

Same, I never came back from it

 

[NoLooksNoLife]

Rice parents love resorting to corporal punishment for everything. Long story short, #metoo

 

[Kabsacel]

I was emotionally neglected as a child.so yeah

 

[calimero]

Yes.

View attachment 614255

Life is brutal

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Life is brutal

Sim.