Every time I go in public I just wanna crash out so bad. I can’t stand people. Males or foids. I hate them both about as much. I purposely try to avoid people as much as possible by living nocturnally (not much of a choice though because insomnia) and making an effort not to go out unless I absolutely need to and for as little time as possible. Rushing in and out of the grocery store to buy goyslop to keep my sorry ass alive. Going to the gym because it’s the only productive thing I’m doing with my life. But every time I go out it just enrages me. Stupid people getting in my way. Happy couples my age living the life I should be living. Grandma driving 5 miles under the speed limit down a shit one way backroad. It all pisses me off so much. I’ll go to the gym and see some Stacy in skin tight leggings and a sports bra that I’ll never have a chance with or Chad and his girlfriend goofing off in the only squat rack that I’ve been waiting on for 45 minutes or some jackass will take my bench while I go take a shit between a set. They always look at me like I’m a fucking alien or some shit. Like I’m a different species. I don’t even make eye contact anymore. Their stares push me over the edge. Inefficient people genuinely piss me off. You go to fucking Walmart every fucking week. It’s the same shit every time. It doesn’t even taste good. Get your shit and get out. Every time I go anywhere I look at entrances and exits. If I saw any cop cars in the parking lot. How many people. Who looks like they’d be a problem. If I was still in high school or god forbid I went to collage I definitely would have crashed by now. My isolation is the only thing that’s keeping me from breaking at this point. What’s the point of living. Especially as a neet. It’s the same shit every day over and over again. So much effort. To get ultimately nowhere.
