I am in my 30s now and it could be just aging or decades of negative feedback and lack of stimulation or hope, or maybe my drugs (I am on antidiabetic meds), but I stopped thinking much about women and instead the more immediate gratifications in life like food, comfortable living space, sleep, amusement, and money.
The antidiabetic med (metformin) killed my sex drive and I barely think about sex or goon anymore. It could be depression but I still gooned furiously before I got on antidiabetic meds, so it's not depression, it's probably just the meds. Does it bother me and do I plan on getting off of it? No. Once I lost my sex drive, I was fine with virtually being comfortably neutered. It's not like I was going to get my sexual needs met anyway. Now I am like a neutered dog that just eats sleeps plays and shits. I am just floating through life now. I try to exercise often so I don't fall apart as I get older.
I have nothing to look forward to, I am also friendless and I cut my crazy family off who was so keenly interested in my death, so I just live day to day. I am also having my childhood resurface and I keep playing memories over and over again, and the older I get the more I realize just how twisted by upbringing was and that I never had a chance to be NT or normal, so I stopped blaming myself for "not trying", for not adjusting and becoming normal. "Normal" is something that is passed on, it's something someone else has to give you. Being normal is not something you can make up for yourself or "self help" your way into it. It's something you develop with external feedback and with our sub5 looks and abnormal families (vast majority of you niggas who talked about your families also have fucky families), we never had the chance.
The antidiabetic med (metformin) killed my sex drive and I barely think about sex or goon anymore. It could be depression but I still gooned furiously before I got on antidiabetic meds, so it's not depression, it's probably just the meds. Does it bother me and do I plan on getting off of it? No. Once I lost my sex drive, I was fine with virtually being comfortably neutered. It's not like I was going to get my sexual needs met anyway. Now I am like a neutered dog that just eats sleeps plays and shits. I am just floating through life now. I try to exercise often so I don't fall apart as I get older.
I have nothing to look forward to, I am also friendless and I cut my crazy family off who was so keenly interested in my death, so I just live day to day. I am also having my childhood resurface and I keep playing memories over and over again, and the older I get the more I realize just how twisted by upbringing was and that I never had a chance to be NT or normal, so I stopped blaming myself for "not trying", for not adjusting and becoming normal. "Normal" is something that is passed on, it's something someone else has to give you. Being normal is not something you can make up for yourself or "self help" your way into it. It's something you develop with external feedback and with our sub5 looks and abnormal families (vast majority of you niggas who talked about your families also have fucky families), we never had the chance.
