I was always a cynical person, but when the blackpill hit me i was propelled to Satan level cynical.
I think in order to not cause my brain to perpetually rot, I tried to do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for several months. One of the key things of CBT is to untrain entrained instinctual reactions. For instance, you might have an engrained sense of defensiveness from trauma / bullying at a younger age, but the circumstances have changed as people are no longer as immature as teenagers (supposedly).
During this period I trained my mind to be able to take a step back and re-evaluate other objective interpretations of events based on the evidence, as to not cause my brain to rot.
But Jesus Christ it’s like everytime I do this evidence pops up that shows my initial optimism was naive and things are 40x worse than what my brain would’ve evaluated.
Good god. Things like people going to sex parties in grad school and having sex in the school. Things like finding out my “friends” were parasites who only used me because they felt better about themselves. Finding out all my coworkers hate me unironically. Finding out that my female coworkers are sleeping with several guys a week, or sleeping with drug addicts.
Best friend in my entire life whom I known for 3 years and shared private stuff about including my inceldom? Just ditches me unceremoniously one day.
It’s straight up psychological torture. It’s like my ingrained reactions, which are already cynical, are 150x justified and in fact overly optimistic.
I still think CBT helped control my mind better, but my life is still an unsalvageable train wreck, 99% of which is just all circumstantial.
I think in order to not cause my brain to perpetually rot, I tried to do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for several months. One of the key things of CBT is to untrain entrained instinctual reactions. For instance, you might have an engrained sense of defensiveness from trauma / bullying at a younger age, but the circumstances have changed as people are no longer as immature as teenagers (supposedly).
During this period I trained my mind to be able to take a step back and re-evaluate other objective interpretations of events based on the evidence, as to not cause my brain to rot.
But Jesus Christ it’s like everytime I do this evidence pops up that shows my initial optimism was naive and things are 40x worse than what my brain would’ve evaluated.
Good god. Things like people going to sex parties in grad school and having sex in the school. Things like finding out my “friends” were parasites who only used me because they felt better about themselves. Finding out all my coworkers hate me unironically. Finding out that my female coworkers are sleeping with several guys a week, or sleeping with drug addicts.
Best friend in my entire life whom I known for 3 years and shared private stuff about including my inceldom? Just ditches me unceremoniously one day.
It’s straight up psychological torture. It’s like my ingrained reactions, which are already cynical, are 150x justified and in fact overly optimistic.
I still think CBT helped control my mind better, but my life is still an unsalvageable train wreck, 99% of which is just all circumstantial.
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