Trying to break out of NEETdom is impossible, it's much too comfortable. I have no will to pursue higher goals in life. My many failures have broken me.
I have tons of energy to leave the house just no one to go do things with. Loneliness hurts less when you are at home as opposed to being out seeing couples and groups of friends.
Having been a hermit for over 15 years now, yeah it's just my normal state of being now, going outside creates a lot of paranoia and anxiety, and anytime I do leave my house (to go see clinical psychologist or something) I have this urge and desire to just get back home as soon as possible.
I guess being outside and around people the state of my life compared to the normal person becomes very real again, and hit me like a truck of depression, anxiety, paranoia and my brain just screams "GOTTA GO HOME, GOTTA GO HOME".
"Just go out bro" doesn't work for me, all it does it make me want to be shut-in even more. I am not just made for this world tbh.
Talking about normies online is one thing, but then actually going outside and being around them is another, the whole autist vs normie thing feels kind a meme online, not very real, but then when you actually go outside it becomes a very real thing and you realize how fucked you are and how over it is.
I guess being outside and around people the state of my life compared to the normal person becomes very real again, and hit me like a truck of depression, anxiety, paranoia and my brain just screams "GOTTA GO HOME, GOTTA GO HOME".
"Just go out bro" doesn't work for me, all it does it make me want to be shut-in even more. I am not just made for this world tbh.
Talking about normies online is one thing, but then actually going outside and being around them is another, the whole autist vs normie thing feels kind a meme online, not very real, but then when you actually go outside it becomes a very real thing and you realize how fucked you are and how over it is.
Pretty much this
R
I want to go outside somedays when the weather is nice, but I just realize I don't have a reason to go outiside other than to buy groceries or go to work. I end up trying to think of things to do outside but there just isn't any, so I rot on my pc.
I prefer just rot in my basement and not leave the house, mostly because I don't see the point. Its also because I'm on summer vacation.
I wish there was something I could figure out about going outside and being around people, but I just cant see it, just being in that situation makes me want to go home and sit at my PC. I believe my brain has developed in my life with never getting any reward or positive feeling from being outside and around other people, so I assume that is why I have no incentive or drive to go outside and be around people.
I assume this can be fixed if I was to have positive experiences and rewarding feelings from going outside and being around people, but how do you even do that when it's for the most part, out of your control? I don't know how I can start building up the blocks of positive experiences and rewards of going out and being around people? Anytime I try I am automatically shit on, and put at the bottom of the totem pole and treated like shit, so there's no reward for me. I can't even improve my social skills or interpersonal skills because nobody is willing to let me.
I feel like I am playing an MMORPG where I am stuck at level 10 and need help to gain experience points, but everyone else is playing at level 100 and doesn't want anything to do with me, and "just go out bro" has me at level 10 trying to play with level 100s who just swat me like a insect on the wall, and an insect is how I feel, an insect just hovering around people, who just tolerate me until they can't no more, and give no opportunity for me to gain any experience.
This is why I think so many people like me get excited about WW3, because WW3 will be like an expansion pack that resets everything and everyone will be on the same playing field again, which gives those who failed in the previous expansion a chance to try again.
I assume this can be fixed if I was to have positive experiences and rewarding feelings from going outside and being around people, but how do you even do that when it's for the most part, out of your control? I don't know how I can start building up the blocks of positive experiences and rewards of going out and being around people? Anytime I try I am automatically shit on, and put at the bottom of the totem pole and treated like shit, so there's no reward for me. I can't even improve my social skills or interpersonal skills because nobody is willing to let me.
I feel like I am playing an MMORPG where I am stuck at level 10 and need help to gain experience points, but everyone else is playing at level 100 and doesn't want anything to do with me, and "just go out bro" has me at level 10 trying to play with level 100s who just swat me like a insect on the wall, and an insect is how I feel, an insect just hovering around people, who just tolerate me until they can't no more, and give no opportunity for me to gain any experience.
This is why I think so many people like me get excited about WW3, because WW3 will be like an expansion pack that resets everything and everyone will be on the same playing field again, which gives those who failed in the previous expansion a chance to try again.
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