Parents (one's dead) were/are mentally ill, one was an inpatient & the other a day release at psychiatric ward. Grew up in highly ethnic ghetto in London surrounded by future criminals & other assorted undersireables so I never really went out so didn't learn how to socialise properly. A lot of stabbings around there & racist second/third generation blacks/ Muslims.
Severe poverty (parents didn't work at all entire time I've been alive, mid 80's)
Fuck all familial support
Friends didn't have my back, useless.
Bullied at school due to racist immigrant groups, was small for my age, skinny, quiet, autist introvert & didn't want to get in trouble as I thought my parents would think less of me (thought they didn't care due to lack of any kind of encouragement, of course it was due to their own issues really but did not understand as a kid), mother would have psychotic episodes & father was doped up on morphine. Home was filthy, at one point there were garbage bags everywhere to the point we'd be walking on literal trash that had spilled out as opposed to actually coming into contact with the floor; nearly cut my foot on a can.
I'd be left to my own devices so used to burn toys in gas fire & smash floor/windowseal with hammer (lol)
Was never taught to stand up for myself, father is avoidant as fuck in areas of confrontation.
Dropped out of school
Developed social anxiety due to circumstances
Had depression for years & just want to be alone as I can't understand normies & they don't understand what's up with me.