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LifeFuel Anselm the Incelfish gets a whopping 8 matches on Tinder in one night?

FrothySolutions

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Let me explain. ldargoblin @ldargoblin channeled the wishes of Ignas @Ignas, AlwaysLawRoute @AlwaysLawRoute, GoonCel @GoonCel, Insomniac @Insomniac, Blacktarpill @Blacktarpill, TINMAN @TINMAN, R @randomcel92, P @PersonalityChad, Deleted member 14577 @Jazavac, L @Lubricure, BlackpilledAF @BlackpilledAF, Psychonaut @Psychonaut, Cuyen @Cuyen, Veganist @Veganist, AncapFAG @AncapFAG, PectusManletScarCel @PectusManletScarCel, TheGoodGuy @TheGoodGuy, Anger @Anger, Clock Tower @Clock Tower, NEETAndTidy @NEETAndTidy, StaroRavager @StaroRavager, iKillCucks @iKillCucks, First loss @First loss, and myself into this character.

ldargoblin said:
A character created by users
Anselm is a virgin mercenary from Bhubaneshwar :feelstastyman:
View attachment 71147

And I asked...

FrothySolutions said:
Can I add this picture to my Chadfish profile? You can apparently add pictures that aren't necessarily of you, but are pictures that you like.

And LDARGoblin said yes. And so I did. I couldn't change the name to Anselm, but this is the description I put in.

45 years old and only one sexual encounter in my life. And I'm not sure it counts. If you'll hear my tale, maybe you can tell me if it does?

Originally from Bhubaneswar but I left, because of course I did. Now that I'm free, my hope is that I can find my fortune, if it's not too late.

The "sexual encounter" was using a frog as a fleshlight.

For the anthem, I chose "Everyday Normal Guy" by Jon Lajoie.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, last night I was swiping around Moscow. I wasn't liking anyone. But I wake up today and find, on this picture alone, Anselm racked up 8 likes. I'm using Tinder Gold so I can see who likes him. However? They're all Russian women around 45. I didn't specify I wanted 45 year old women. And I was only in Moscow for a while. But somehow in the brief window of time I spent in Moscow, Anselm found 8 women who liked him.

Did I do this wrong? Maybe Anselm isn't as incel as he's presented to be.
 
Cuyen

Cuyen

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God,how's that possible ? i pretty shocked ngl
 
wizardcel

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45 year old women are not human anymore, they're fossils.
 
FrothySolutions

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What's the likelihood that they're all bots? I mean, it's Russia, so...
 
FrothySolutions

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Should Anselm go elsewhere and see who seeks him out?
 
Michael15651

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wizardcel said:
45 year old women are not human anymore, they're fossils.

Yet still, have the mind as a teen girl
 
Sparrow's Song

Sparrow's Song

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I feel like him whenever I light up a cig.
 
StaroRavager

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FrothySolutions said:
Should Anselm go elsewhere and see who seeks him out?
Yes, I’d like to see how this would go in other nations as well
 
FrothySolutions

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StaroRavager said:
Yes, I’d like to see how this would go in other nations as well

Any suggestions? Mainländer @Mainländer apparently lives in prime game territory.

refmd said:
damn, what location is that at, most of those girls looked like stacies
no chance for sub-tier men
 
StaroRavager

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FrothySolutions said:
Any suggestions? @Mainländer apparently lives in prime game territory.
Brazil sound like an interesting location to try out
 
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It's strange they liked Anselm, maybe they did it expecting obviously someone more handsome, as it is just a depiction of a character.
 
FrothySolutions

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Lubricure said:
It's strange they liked Anselm, maybe they did it expecting obviously someone more handsome, as it is just a depiction of a character.

So what does the picture mean to them? What impression does it leave?
 
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FrothySolutions said:
So what does the picture mean to them? What impression does it leave?

Probably it has no particular meaning for them yet it conveys the impression of a seasoned man, like an ex-veteran or something, but it's just my guess.
 
Psychonaut

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FrothySolutions said:
Should Anselm go elsewhere and see who seeks him out?
Yes
Take him literally anywhere, I'd be interested.
 
ldargoblin

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Psychonaut said:
Yes
Take him literally anywhere, I'd be interested.
 
FrothySolutions

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Anselm is headed to Sao Paulo next.
 
BlackpilledAF

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Anselm is fit, especially for his age. Just be an older fit guy theory proven.

He should have been skinnyfat with a belly sticking out, as well as moobs.
 
FrothySolutions

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BlackpilledAF said:
Anselm is fit, especially for his age. Just be an older fit guy theory proven.

He should have been skinnyfat with a belly sticking out, as well as moobs.

I may have messed that part up, I specified that he should be around 5% body fat and about 150 pounds. So he's been doing some gymcelling.
 
FrothySolutions

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EDIT: We've got a match in Brazil, but I'm concerned this might be a trick. I think she might be one of you guys. Or someone who watched this thread and knows how to find me because I said Anselm was going to Brazil.

Her profile reads...

Se você me conhece e me achou nesse site , vamos guardar o segredo um do outro.

Cinéfila, viciada em ler e digamos que coma um pouco além do esperado, disposta a conversar sobre assuntos de suma relevância como a diferença entre biscoito e bolacha. Feijão é por cima.

But her anthem? "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People. I think that's supposed to be a clue that whoever this is knows this is Anselm the Incelfish from Incels.is.
 
The Abyss

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Peasants wanting easy life or roasties thinking it might be a good looking guy larping, that SOH bro', lemme' see your face etc...
 
FrothySolutions

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Alright, I'm in the middle of a conversation with Anselm's Brazilian match. She's clearly fucking with him though, and I"m not entirely sure she's not one of you guys, or an IncelTears lurker, or something. Her name is Alessandra, and she's 21.



It's all in Portuguese, so maybe Mainländer @Mainländer could interpret better for the audience. But I'll try. Here's the conversation so far.




Anselm opened by explaining he doesn't speak the language very well. She seemed to be accommodating.


Anselm: Meu português não é muito bom :(

Alessandra: Nem o meu

Alessandra: Não tem problema

Anselm: Como está seu inglês?

Alessandra: Fine, I think


Anselm, despite not knowing Portuguese that well, decided to try his best.


Anselm: Eu vou tentar falar português.

Alessandra: Kkkkkkk

Alessandra: Ok


Anselm, a 45 year old expatriate from India living in the United States, is intrigued that someone below half his age would swipe right on him.


Anselm: Eu sou da Índia, mas moro nos Estados Unidos

Anselm: Me interessa que você me escolheu. Você tem 21, mas eu tenho 45.

Anselm: Eu tenho mais que o dobro da sua idade.

Alessandra: Hum

Alessandra: É verdade


Anselm launches into his life story. ldargoblin @ldargoblin said this is how he would break the ice.


Anselm: Minha vida tem sido atípica, eu acho.

Anselm: Deixe-me contar sobre minha vida.

Alessandra: Conte me


Anselm was a feral child. Abandoned at a young age, the only family he remembers are the wild frogs who raised him.


Anselm: Serviços Sociais disseram que eu fui abandonado pela minha família quando eu era jovem.

Anselm: Eu tinha uma família humana, mas a maior parte da minha vida eu vivia com sapos.

Anselm: Rãs.

Anselm: Eu quis dizer "sapos."

Anselm: Meu portugues ésta ruim.

Alessandra: Tudo bem, continua


But at 17 he was cast out, and couldn't live with the frogs anymore.


Anselm: Eu fui resgatado do pântano em 17.

Anselm: E eles me disseram tudo isso.

Anselm: Eu não poderia mais viver com os sapos.

Anselm: Os sapos se viraram para mim.

Anselm: Eu estava em perigo dos sapos.


And it was his fault.


Anselm: Mas foi minha culpa.

Alessandra: Por que?


What happened? He assaulted a frog.


Anselm: Eu agredi um dos sapos. E é por isso que eles se voltaram contra mim.


He used it as a Fleshlight.


Anselm: Eu...

Anselm: Eu usei um dos sapos como uma Fleshlight. :(

Anselm: E assim eles não podiam me perdoar. :(

Alessandra: E o que aconteceu depois?


With no family to speak of now, no history but living with frogs, Anselm turned his hand to combat. Specifically, he became a mercenary.


Anselm: Agora eu não tinha família.

Anselm: Então eu fiz a única coisa que eu poderia fazer.

Anselm: Eu me tornei um soldado.

Alessandra: Uau

Anselm: Em uma empresa militar privada

Anselm: Eu fui chamado principalmente para ser policial.


He didn't use anything as quick and impersonal as a gun. He used a katana. He used a chainsaw.


Anselm: Eu não usei uma arma de fogo.

Anselm: Eu usei uma katana.

Anselm: Eu usei uma motosserra.

Anselm: Você pode adivinhar o que eu usei para eles.

Alessandra: O que?

Anselm: As únicas coisas que uma katana e uma motosserra podem ser usadas. :(

Alessandra: Entendo


Anselm's life continued like this until the work dried up. Stability in the region kicked in, I guess.


Anselm: Minha vida continuou assim.

Anselm: Então parei de conseguir emprego.

Anselm: O mundo se tornou pacífico o suficiente para que eu não conseguisse trabalho como soldado.



So he decided to immigrate to the States. Where he hopes to put the hardships of his life in Bhubaneswar behind him and live a normal life.


Anselm: Então eu imigrei para os Estados Unidos.

Anselm: O processo durou até eu ser muito velho.

Anselm: E agora estou aqui.

Anselm: Eu não tive uma vida normal.


Alessandra puts on her philosophy ears and asks "What IS a normal life?" Anselm says maybe Alessandra's life is a life he'd like to live. He asks her to tell him about her life.


Alessandra: Eu quero aprender como ter uma vida normal.

Alessandra: E o que pra você é uma vida normal?

Anselm: Me conte sobre sua vida. Talvez sua vida seja uma vida que eu gostaria.



Alessandra says she saw a frog walking down the street the other day. Anselm wonders if it was an aunt or something.



Alessandra: Eu vi um sapo andando pela rua ontem

Anselm: Talvez uma relativa minha.

Alessandra: É


Anselm asks if Alessandra has ever been to college.


Anselm: Você foi a universidade?

Alessandra: Sim, passei pela porta


Anselm asks if Alessandra has ever been to a "house party." She seems to understand what Anselm means and says yes.


Anselm: Você vai a "casafestas?"

Alessandra: As vezes


So he asks how people like Alessandra get invited to these parties. She says through WhatsApp. But how do you get people to invite you to things through WhatsApp?


Anselm: Como você recebe um convite?

Alessandra: Por WhatsApp

Anselm: Eu conheço o WhatsApp

Anselm: Mas como você usa para receber convites para festas?

Alessandra: Eu também

Anselm: Como você recebe convites no WhatsApp?


Alessandra says "Through messages." But messages from who?


Alessandra: Por mensagens

Anselm: Mensagens de quem? Como você recebe mensagens?


Alessandra says "Messages through the Internet." But who on the Internet?

Alessandra: Por causa da internet

Anselm: Quem na Internet?


Alessandra says "People." But what people?


Alessandra: Pessoas

Anselm: Que pessoas?


Alessandra says "Human beings." So how do you get human beings to invite you to things? Alessandra says it's usually through friends.


Alessandra: Seres humanos

Anselm: Como você leva as seres humanos a lhe darem convites?

Alessandra: Geralmente são meus amigos


But how do you get friends? Alessandra says with money.


Anselm: Como você consegue amigos?

Alessandra: Com dinheiro


So Anselm has to buy friends? Where do you "buy" friends? Alessandra says "Amazon."


Anselm: Então você compra amigos?

Alessandra: Sim

Anselm: Onde e como você compra amigos?

Alessandra: Amazon



Anselm tries to check Amazon for friends, but he can't find the department.



Anselm: Não consigo encontrá-lo na Amazon.

Anselm: Onde fica o departamento "Amigos?"



Alessandra gives Anselm some English instructions, but they don't lead to what he's looking for.


Alessandra: Seach for "friends"

Anselm: Aqui está o que eu vi.

Anselm: https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51sDSgYPHaL._AC_US218_.jpg

Alessandra: Exatamente

Anselm: Isso não é "amigos". Isso é um programa de TV chamado "Amigos."

Alessandra: Não era sobre isso que estávamos falando?


Anselm says no, he's trying to get friends that will invite him to house parties and stuff like a normal person.



Anselm: Não, eu quero amigos para poder ir a casafestas com eles.

Alessandra: Entendo


Alessandra asks if Anselm has friends. Anselm has no friends. He asks how Alessandra got friends in college.


Alessandra: E você não tem nenhum?

Anselm: Não. :(

Anselm: Como você fez amigos na universidade?


Alessandra says she threatened them. Anselm asks for an example of this.


Alessandra: Ameaçando eles

Anselm: Você pode me dar um exemplo?


Alessandra says she says to people "If you won't be my friend, I'll kill your family." But Anselm promised himself he wouldn't kill again.


Alessandra: Eu digo " Se você não for meu amigo vou matar toda a sua família"

Anselm: Eu prometi a mim mesmo que não mataria novamente.
 
Mainländer

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If it wasn't so long I could translate to you.

Just throw everything into google translate tbh, it works well from Portuguese to English since the languages are fairly close.
 
FrothySolutions

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Who is @mchoyhoy can someone tell me why they were banned? @SergeantIncel do you know who banned them? Are they a mole?
 
FrothySolutions

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She wants to know Anselm's real name. I swear she's one of you guys.
 
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