How do you deal with it?
As I've gotten older without having a relationship or sex, I've started to feel more angry and bitter. The best years are gone now, I'll never know the magic of teenage sex, the fun in my 20s, dating, or having a long serious relationship and honing my skills as a lover in my prime years. Knowing happiness in this way is alien to me and a huge part of life is now missing forever.
My 30s were a wasteland, the few friends I had long settled down and forgot about me. Online dating got me nothing but rejection, no matter how far down the bottom of the barrel I scraped.
I feel so ashamed and terrified to even try to date now, even if I had a chance. I feel she would tell I was inexperienced and so a creepy weirdo in her mind within the first minute of meeting. I really wish I could accept this that I will probably be deprived of a women's touch forever, paying for it or rape are shitty options.
My social anxiety issues [mah shyness cope - I was an ugly skinny fucker] in my teens and early 20s helped set me on this course. I thought things would turn out okay though or I might have got an escort years ago. Now I can't even bring myself to do that, it's not so easy finding one and arranging it either and the last was fake on adultwork.com.
If by some miracle I did meet someone who liked me and we lasted more than a few dates, I have lots of juvenile anxieties. For example embarrassment over my inexperience as I mentioned, worried over how I will perform, Will I know what the hell I'm doing? Will I even get too anxious to become aroused and she dumps me after? Will she not like my body, seeing me like that for the first time?
I think I might leave here soon, I know I'm seen as too old and a pathetic loser.
As I've gotten older without having a relationship or sex, I've started to feel more angry and bitter. The best years are gone now, I'll never know the magic of teenage sex, the fun in my 20s, dating, or having a long serious relationship and honing my skills as a lover in my prime years. Knowing happiness in this way is alien to me and a huge part of life is now missing forever.
My 30s were a wasteland, the few friends I had long settled down and forgot about me. Online dating got me nothing but rejection, no matter how far down the bottom of the barrel I scraped.
I feel so ashamed and terrified to even try to date now, even if I had a chance. I feel she would tell I was inexperienced and so a creepy weirdo in her mind within the first minute of meeting. I really wish I could accept this that I will probably be deprived of a women's touch forever, paying for it or rape are shitty options.
My social anxiety issues [mah shyness cope - I was an ugly skinny fucker] in my teens and early 20s helped set me on this course. I thought things would turn out okay though or I might have got an escort years ago. Now I can't even bring myself to do that, it's not so easy finding one and arranging it either and the last was fake on adultwork.com.
If by some miracle I did meet someone who liked me and we lasted more than a few dates, I have lots of juvenile anxieties. For example embarrassment over my inexperience as I mentioned, worried over how I will perform, Will I know what the hell I'm doing? Will I even get too anxious to become aroused and she dumps me after? Will she not like my body, seeing me like that for the first time?
I think I might leave here soon, I know I'm seen as too old and a pathetic loser.
