I
Whenever I want to remind myself how subhuman I am and how much of a biological failure I am, all I have to do is go on old classmates profiles - both high school and college.
They're all still friends with each other, occasionally hanging out, still keeping in touch. After all these years. Yet still, years ago, these people all collectively handed together and decided they were worthy , while people like me weren't and were cast out. Basically like a wolf being cast from the herd to die alone, because that's basically what it is. Just rotting alone rejected by everyone.
When I was younger I used to get immensely angry at this realization and would angrily try to "show them". I would study, work out hard, diet, all in attempts to excel at something - football, rugby, school, doesn't matter. While my classmates are all totally carefree smoking weed peacefully with each other I would be killing myself with diet, or heavy gym, or heavy cardio, all trying to "show" that I was better than them. Only complete subhumans do this. It's an EFFORTLESS process to become "accepted". If you have to try at ALL you're so far off the mark it's not possible to begin to describe how far off.
in the end, I never could. I could never become anything. The more I realized this the sadder it made me, realizing that being the castout really was the end all and that I couldn't do SHIT to prove them wrong.
Anger is just cope, youngcels. Unless you're the one out of a million kawhi Leonard, or jj watt, or any ceo (and let me remind you these success stories are pretty much ALWAYS liked and successful early in and throughout school as well). .
I punched so many holes through walls like a retard when younger just so blinded by being unable to accept that if you're a failure and a reject at a young age, you always will be. The worse off the more you try to fight it.
They're all still friends with each other, occasionally hanging out, still keeping in touch. After all these years. Yet still, years ago, these people all collectively handed together and decided they were worthy , while people like me weren't and were cast out. Basically like a wolf being cast from the herd to die alone, because that's basically what it is. Just rotting alone rejected by everyone.
When I was younger I used to get immensely angry at this realization and would angrily try to "show them". I would study, work out hard, diet, all in attempts to excel at something - football, rugby, school, doesn't matter. While my classmates are all totally carefree smoking weed peacefully with each other I would be killing myself with diet, or heavy gym, or heavy cardio, all trying to "show" that I was better than them. Only complete subhumans do this. It's an EFFORTLESS process to become "accepted". If you have to try at ALL you're so far off the mark it's not possible to begin to describe how far off.
in the end, I never could. I could never become anything. The more I realized this the sadder it made me, realizing that being the castout really was the end all and that I couldn't do SHIT to prove them wrong.
Anger is just cope, youngcels. Unless you're the one out of a million kawhi Leonard, or jj watt, or any ceo (and let me remind you these success stories are pretty much ALWAYS liked and successful early in and throughout school as well). .
I punched so many holes through walls like a retard when younger just so blinded by being unable to accept that if you're a failure and a reject at a young age, you always will be. The worse off the more you try to fight it.
Last edited:
