Am I Asexual , Incel,or just weird. ?
By Tim the Artist,
October 23, 2013 in Welcome Lounge
Tim the Artist
- Junior Member
-
- Members
- 5 posts
- Gender:Male
- Location:Michigan
- A/Sexuality:Romantic Demisexual Incel.
So i just discovered this site..while googling for answers about love and relationships.
First let me introduce myuself. My name is Tim and im 33, never had sex, never been in a relationshiop. Have been on dates...most of which probably werent "real" dates to the girl but they were to me. I have also been on a couple that were real to the girl but not to me. andi have likely broken some hearts...
Anyway what i am confused about is this...
I never desired sex. i was confused when i hit purberty and all my friends were talkign about banging girls and getting numbers at the mall so they could get wtih these girls. I never did that, never wanted to. wondered, whats the point. I wanted a girlfriend but never knew how to get one. I go through alot of situations where i think im romanticly in love but then i realize my feelings are not reciprocated. I wondered if something was wrong with me..why i never was able to be in a nice mutual loving relationship.
I thought maybe because i dont desire women the way other men do, so women assume i am not interested at all? So, when i foudn this site i saw the definition about "not beign sexually attracted" and thought that it Fit me. ..maybe that explains what i am and why, on the flip side, i cant attract women.
Here is why i think I am not "sexualy attracted" to women.
When I look a naked girl. I think nothing. nothing happens when look at porn...i dont get aroused or anything.
howeer, I considermyself heterolsexual..I definitely have a thing for women...i love the way they look, the way they smell, the way they talk. I love their company and prefer to hang aroudn women more then guys.
As an artist. i find the female form aestheticly beautiful. Particuualry clothed...and in sexy footwear. You see i also believe i have a foot fetish. I love the way girls look in sandals and flip flops...i love how they paint their toenails and make their legs and feet smooth and soft.
I have several fantasies involving women in sexy attire doing certain things and in situations that can be very arousing to me, albiet not sexual in nature.(i can expound on this more if anyone is interested)
I mentioned some of this on the chat room and someone mentinoed theres is a low chance then that I am Asexual...because i do get aroused by women..and by fetishes and "sexy" fantasies.
However, I still have almost 0 desire to bang any woman. when i'm with a girl i like....im interested in getting to know here...intllectually. I want closeness..i want to share my lifew ith her.!
I have had many romantic crushes and strong infatuation feelings...and also have had my heart broken so many times because i didnt make a move until it was too late and a GUY with more prowers then I gets the girl. this happened to me jsut recently ..the 5th time in 10 years which is what prompted me to search for life answers.
If i ever did get A girl to be my romantic love interest..I dont think i would be against having sex with her...i might even desire it if i knew she was interested..and im sure i'd enjoy it if everything else was right. The thign is.. i just never ever experience sexual attraction or desire up front when i think look at women or go on dates... actual sexual activity never ever crosses my mind unless she brings it up(which they never do).
I do admit, I fantasize my weird non sexual fantasies and as an artist(tradiional, photographhy, and filmmaking) I recently learned to use my ability to explore some of these themes artisticaly. I always thought that that replaces sex for me....sex for the brain if you will. Someone once compared to teh creative process as being the same as sexual process...both affectin the same parts of the brain..adn both having similar real life results..the creation of somethign NEW.
But i do wish i was normal if only so ic oudl stop beign so lonely watching other peopel have that love and intamcy i desire..i thought maybe if i had normal sexual Things woudl be different and i'd actualy be able to get the girl for a change.
I guess I dont know...
Does anyone think this counts as Asexuailty, or is it more like Involuntary Celebacy?? Or am is this something else? Im Confused and fustrated.
