Does anyone else feel the same way?
I’m extremely ugly, like, “I’ve never been hit on by a guy IRL so still a kissless virgin at 24” type of ugly. I always hear, mostly from men, that women in my situation shouldn’t have high standards at all. But the idea of having to settle makes me feel even more resentful than I already am.
The funny thing is, I’m not even talking about looks here. Like for example, I don’t care about dating tall +1.80cm men only, as long as he’s taller than me that’s fine (and I’m 1.52cm so being taller than me is the default), what I care about is mostly personality, beliefs and the type of treatment I expect from a potential partner.
I guess seeing the lives of attractive women has been making me more and more resentful each year. If you are a very ugly women like me then you see how all men treat the hot women they really like, all the things those women can get away with just because they are pretty, how easy they have it in general because men around them literally do anything to make them happy and get their attention.
If I ever date someone, I’d expect the same treatment from him. I don’t even expect to be treated like this by all the men around me, but a boyfriend or husband? Yes. Definitely. I either get treated by him like all those hot 10/10 women are treated by men 24/7 or I’ll just die alone, but I won’t accept anything less. I’d be forever resentful towards my boyfriend/husband if I accept him and he doesn’t treat me like those hot women, I’d literally rather die a virgin than compromise with this.
In my mind, this makes perfect sense. But I’ve shared these standards with a couple of men before and they told me that even if my standards aren’t about looks at all they’re still “too high”, because “literally no man would treat an ugly woman the way we’d treat a perfect 10/10”. And I know they’re right, but as I said, I’m just too resentful to care and to change. In my mind, if he doesn’t treat me like those 10s then he wouldn’t genuinely/fully like me or desire me, so I’d rather die alone than being stuck with a bf or husband like that… and chances are I will die alone anyway, because one of the things I also expect from a partner is to not watch porn (yes, I know with this I just got rid of 99.9% of the male population).
From my perspective, my standards aren’t high at all. Or shouldn’t be. But since I got told by men that they are: then so be it
