L
Lebensmüder
Soon to be deleted account
★★★
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2018
- Posts
- 5,202
Growing older with dignity is an oxymoron, nothing is better than childhood and seeing everything as a wonder, the older you become the less magic the world appears and as soon as the magic dies due to being replaced with knowledge the fascination dies with it - the worst myth is that knowledge is something inherently good, ignorance is a blessing, the myth makes life worth living.
I would give anything to feel like a child again, as a child everything fascinated me, I could go through the woods and was fascinated by every little bug/plant, I could go through the mountains looking for some rare stones and fossils like ammonites, I had TV series/movies/games which I enjoyed, I enjoyed every museum in my proximity from space craft to submarines, everything was so vivid. I loved the visits to the botanical garden which had a butterfly/cactus collection at that time, I loved the gardening shop in my vicinity due to its phasmids and I loved the poisonous garden with the digitalis/wolfsbane. Every place felt like heaven. I remember as I nearly died of awe as I saw an olm (=cave salamander) for the first (and last) time in my life - my luckiest childhood memory which I will keep with me for my entire life.
Don't get me wrong: I was still bullied (in kindergarden/elementary school), but I ignored it, it didn't matter, as long as I had copes and illusions. I was also able to communicate with others due to Yu-Gi-Oh and due to good stuff on the TV like prank shows, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon and Star Wars. This was the luckiest time in my life (especially due to Mario Kart and Donkey Kong games). I had actual dreams for the future by wanting to become a herpetologist/ichthyologist. I read so many books and was fascinated by every single one. I had cheap headphones and listened to Star Wars/Mario Music when I was bored/couldn't go out. I was always occupied with finding new stuff. I loved the Internet and what I found there with sites/special wikis for predatory fish keepers and everything else, every minute I spent on them which I didn't spend in school/in the woods. Bionicles and everything else from LEGO was so good back then. Even injuries (like lacerations/eye injuries) were funny in retrospect.
Every day life became less tolerable, the fun gradually died. Nothing is more holy than childhood memories, I would do anything again to feel that curiosity/joy in life again. Most of the places I enjoyed are long gone, the websites are shut down, my icons are dead or have left due to other reasons, where once my favorite aquarium shop stood is now a hall for gamblers, the city I was raised in is unrecongizable, the fascination was replaced by passivity and boredom, dreams were shattered and proved to be impossible/illusoric, everything sucks. Puberty was redundant, afterwards I didn't have any meaningful discourse in my entire life. I would give everything just to get back to these good days from <2012.
I never had my first kiss, I never held hands with a girl, my only lucky memories are those with some animals/video games, I missed all developmental milestones despite doing everything right academically/professionally, the only fun memory I have as an adult is watching a movie with a friend from elementary school a few years ago.
I would give anything to feel like a child again, as a child everything fascinated me, I could go through the woods and was fascinated by every little bug/plant, I could go through the mountains looking for some rare stones and fossils like ammonites, I had TV series/movies/games which I enjoyed, I enjoyed every museum in my proximity from space craft to submarines, everything was so vivid. I loved the visits to the botanical garden which had a butterfly/cactus collection at that time, I loved the gardening shop in my vicinity due to its phasmids and I loved the poisonous garden with the digitalis/wolfsbane. Every place felt like heaven. I remember as I nearly died of awe as I saw an olm (=cave salamander) for the first (and last) time in my life - my luckiest childhood memory which I will keep with me for my entire life.
Don't get me wrong: I was still bullied (in kindergarden/elementary school), but I ignored it, it didn't matter, as long as I had copes and illusions. I was also able to communicate with others due to Yu-Gi-Oh and due to good stuff on the TV like prank shows, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon and Star Wars. This was the luckiest time in my life (especially due to Mario Kart and Donkey Kong games). I had actual dreams for the future by wanting to become a herpetologist/ichthyologist. I read so many books and was fascinated by every single one. I had cheap headphones and listened to Star Wars/Mario Music when I was bored/couldn't go out. I was always occupied with finding new stuff. I loved the Internet and what I found there with sites/special wikis for predatory fish keepers and everything else, every minute I spent on them which I didn't spend in school/in the woods. Bionicles and everything else from LEGO was so good back then. Even injuries (like lacerations/eye injuries) were funny in retrospect.
Every day life became less tolerable, the fun gradually died. Nothing is more holy than childhood memories, I would do anything again to feel that curiosity/joy in life again. Most of the places I enjoyed are long gone, the websites are shut down, my icons are dead or have left due to other reasons, where once my favorite aquarium shop stood is now a hall for gamblers, the city I was raised in is unrecongizable, the fascination was replaced by passivity and boredom, dreams were shattered and proved to be impossible/illusoric, everything sucks. Puberty was redundant, afterwards I didn't have any meaningful discourse in my entire life. I would give everything just to get back to these good days from <2012.
I never had my first kiss, I never held hands with a girl, my only lucky memories are those with some animals/video games, I missed all developmental milestones despite doing everything right academically/professionally, the only fun memory I have as an adult is watching a movie with a friend from elementary school a few years ago.
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