Venting Accepting that I was always the back up tool and never more.

[Vakasneb3856]

I think the hardest part of accepting the blackpill was mainly the fact that people either only see you as trash, or a tool if they are desperate ready to be discarded. Its something i coped myself for a while with highschool and tertiary education, because i thought i was just not meeting the right people, that when i get with people that get me it will be fine which i was mistakenly naive and wrong. Every time i made a friend or tried to approach a girl, next time i would see them, they would always completely ignore me or have someone new with them. i never managed to make a friends in college and no hope with any girls, because like all women they saw me only as trash or a utility, it became more apparent that people where not interested in me, only to use me, if not avoid me in general.

I just kept coping that it was not my time, and that i could self improve maybe i wouldn't get laughed at or talked behind my back or isolated, but my problem was not from my 'skill' per-say, it was due to me. and when i mean me i mean what i am, unattractive and unwanted.

It slowly began to dawn on me, thinking things would be better after high school thinking it as a second chance that i could finally make friends or talk to girl and heck even find a girlfriend, but i was gravely wrong, as life after high school is just another version of highschool social settings and because what i was dreaming of was achievable to normies, but not to ugly men. The only time i ever interacted and at best was associated to someone was in classes with group work and stuff which i tried to socialize with people and try to talk with them, but every time after class i try to talk with them they would find someone else that they actual want to be with and start talking to them, in which if it try to join in i get ignored, or become a third wheel or left behind. Its after constantly this happening i gave up, as i began to realize they were only talking to me out of their own normie incapability of being alone, or pity for me. I also realize no one has ever made an effort to get to know me or talk to me,
This is not even with just school either, work, family, "friends" most only want anything to do with me if i am useful but cast you aside when done. it's only then it started making sense.

its in the end no one will every truly wants me, and if they do its because the someone they really want is not there and just need a back up to throw in the trash after. It's only then i managed to find some peace, as it made me care less knowing i could do nothing about it, but upset being isolated with key life and social milestones i would never get.

 

[Maikowski]

Here's my summary for brocels

The writer describes the emotional pain of accepting the "blackpill"—a belief that they are inherently unattractive and therefore socially rejected and unwanted. They reflect on years of failed social and romantic attempts, feeling used or ignored in school, college, work, and even within their family. Initially hopeful that things would improve with time and self-improvement, they came to believe their lack of connection stemmed not from effort or skills, but from their appearance and identity. Repeated experiences of being sidelined or treated as a disposable tool led to a deep sense of isolation and hopelessness. In the end, they found a kind of numb peace in accepting that they will likely never be genuinely wanted or loved.

 

[Cuckoja]

Yeah, knowing that youre simply not enough is devastating. Not worthy of being loved. And not because of anything that you could change or improve, youre simply not enough and you cant change who you are.

 

[Vakasneb3856]

Here's my summary for brocels

The writer describes the emotional pain of accepting the "blackpill"—a belief that they are inherently unattractive and therefore socially rejected and unwanted. They reflect on years of failed social and romantic attempts, feeling used or ignored in school, college, work, and even within their family. Initially hopeful that things would improve with time and self-improvement, they came to believe their lack of connection stemmed not from effort or skills, but from their appearance and identity. Repeated experiences of being sidelined or treated as a disposable tool led to a deep sense of isolation and hopelessness. In the end, they found a kind of numb peace in accepting that they will likely never be genuinely wanted or loved.

Brutal AIsummarypilled