Ok let me get this straight
last week i was playing with my nintendo switch, originally i only wanted to Play for a few minutes before taking care of our 3 chocolate skinned angels, but then ive suddenly discovered a new easter egg in breath of the wild
i was excited asf***, ive screamed "darnell, Tyrese, Curtis, come over here look what ive found!!!!"
but they just yelled "be quiet whitebread" (they are currently in puberty so they are a bit aggressive teehee)
I was so excited that i had to drink 2 bottles of soylent (despite that my wife's boyfriend tyrone only allowed me to drink 1 bottle every 5 Hours) after that i was checking the Mailbox, there was a Brief in there from my local endocrinologist, ive opened the Brief and what i then readed just unbelieveable….. Ive grew a gynocomstia with a Diameter of 16cm!!!!!!!
Yes you heard Right, a gynocomastia with a Diameter of 20cm!!!!!! YIKESERINO!!!!!!
but thats not even everything, my testosterone Levels are Sub 40ng/dl and my estradiol is skyrocket high (thanks to my high carb high soy diet and daily Estrogen injections)
I was just as excited as god on Monday, my heart was racing, ive ran up the stairs to our bedroom where le wifey and tyrone just had their sexy time
ive yelled at them "look here my diagnosis, my le sexy breasts are now almost just as big as yours honey"
My wife then replied "Get the fuck out of here you wimpdick" Tyrone then pulled me out of the room and kicked me down the stairs, then he said "When im done with her i gonna smack you up whiteboi"
I was shedding some Tears because that kick has hurted very much, then i was going to the kitchen searching for my Little jimmies first aid kit with the Wonderful Winnie the pooh wound plasters, but before i could but any plaster on tyrone already finished off and came down the stairs….
he said "comer over here whiteboi" i said "no please" he screamed "come over here or i gonna beat yo ass" i said "ok" in a crying voice...
He grabbed me on the neck and said "who do you think you are for interrupting me going ballsdeep into kate?"
I replied "im sorry tyrone but i was-" before i could end my sentence he slapped in the face and said "go down on your knees"
i was going on my knees and he pulled his pants down revealing his gigantic dark schlong with A HUGE amount of slimey snowwhite love nectar on the top of it
He said "EAT IT" in a dominant manner, and ive begun to slurp and suck it like my life would depend on it
But in the middle of it he gave me again a light slap and said "thats not what i was asking for"
He then said "open your mouth completely and lean your head back on the Edge of the Couch"
i did so and then he begun to rip my throat apart, ive felt his 12 Inch chocolate Hotdog all down my throat
i was gasping for air because tyrone blocked my nostrils with his fingers, just almost before passing out he shot again a huge amount of tasty seed down my throat
he then pulled his Beautiful dark huge piece of meat out of my mouth, i said "puhhh that was delicious" (i dont get his raw seed to eat usually, most of the time he only shots a few Drops into my soylent)
after all that my wife came down the stairs and said "ahhh just look at you you pathetic wimpdick, how dare to Interrupt me and tyrone????!!!!!"
ive received 24 hard slapes in the face from tyrone, i was crying and begging him to stop, he then took all my clothes off and slapped me out of the house into the garden...
he said "You gonna now spend the rest of the day out here, and if you yell or try to come inside again i gonna destroy your switch"
I was quietly crying like a Baby, ive even saw tyrone how he poured all my soylent into the sink
it was extremely Cold and i had Zero clothes on, thei neighboorkids came outside and saw me, they laughed at me and throwed Stones at me and said to eachother "Why is this fat guy naked, and why does he has breasts and pink dyed hair"
It was so humiliating, but somehow ive deserved it...
ive stuffed my ears with dirt to not hear their chicanery, ive lay on my back to try to Sleep a Little bit but it was hard since it was sooo extremely cold
after a few Hours ive almost began to Sleep but then ive received a kick in the stomach… My oldest one Tyrese standed infront of me and said "hey wake up limpdicked whiteboi, dad said you can come inside again"
I was happy like a child on Christmas, tyrese said that they both are in the kitchen waiting for me
i came into the kitchen, tyrone and le wifey already standed there, tyrone then said "Ok, since you're not able to respect our privacy we are gonna punish you now, next week we gonna drive to Dr. Morgan who will perform a penectomy on you"
I said "no, no!!!! please, he already removed my testicles, please not also my Tiny willy, it's already hard enough to take a piss without urinating on my pants, i mean did you ever saw how small my pecker is?
Tyrone replied "No excuses whiteboi, your worthless limpdick will be removed"
I again replied "Please no!!!!"
My wife then replied "Be quiet and take it like a man!"
Then i made the probably baddest mistake of my life ive said to her "shut up!!!"...
She looked at me shocked and replied "what did you just said to me??!!!!"
Ive quickly tried to apologize "no, no i didnt wanted to say-" before i could finish my sentence tyrone already knocked me out....
I then woke up in our small empty cellar, my jaw was completely broken and i was missing several tooths
it was completely dark, i realized that my feet are chained, ive screamed "hello???? can anyone hear me"
then the door opened and my wife came in, she gave me my Laptop and a bottle of soylent and said "Here sweaty some sweet chai soylent and your Laptop"
ive said "For real??? Honey im sooo sorry" she said "It's ok, ive saw that you gave me Gold on my nude pic Posts on gonewild, you also did a great Job in downvoting every post from that toxic inkel Sub, here drink your soylent, tyrone said that every 2nd you will get one bottle along with 3 Hours of Laptop usage"
ive then begun to cry and said "Oh honey, thank you soooo much, you and tyrone and the Kids are my everything!!!!"
She then said "Yeah i know sweaty, now enjoy your soylent, and hey! Dont browse through any toxic sites, only reddit, buzzfeed and vice ok?"
Ive again replied "Ok sure honey!!!!"
It's been now 9 days since all that happened, and well it's quite hard to spend almost your whole day in a dark, Cold and wet cellar, but hey, at least i have a delicious bottle of soylent every 2nd day along with Browsing through le funny reddit
and every other i spend most of my Hours with whistling the main theme song of the Avengers, and it's going well, i never thought that i could be so good at whistling, i mean i surely could do better but you have to consider that my jaw is now literally a bag of rubble after tyrone beated me for being so misogynistic to my wife, my face looks probably horrible now teehee
this week ive had a strawberry flavour soylent instead of the ordinary vanilla flavour, and i could swear that there were a few sweet Drops of tyrones Juice in
tomorrow i gonna have my penectomy, im Pretty sure it's the best for me, Maybe this procedure will help me realize how much of an patriarchal, toxic misogynistic heteronormative cisgender supremacist i was
my wife told me yesterday that if i will be brave during the procedure then i only have to spend 8 weeks in the cellar anymore
oh and for the for Question if im the asshole….
well i think it's almost too obvious that im the asshole, but do you guys think that im a extrem asshole? a absolute asshole like These toxic-misogynistic-White-supremacist-Right-wing-meat-Eating-trump supporting inkels?
oh please dont tell me that… If you gonna tell me that then i gonna kill myself seriously, i mean if im such an asshole then what Kind of role model i am for darnell, curtis and tyrese???? What Kind of husband i am for my wife???? What Kind of non-monogamous servant i am for tyrone?????
