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Experiment A ONE page short FICTION tale I wrote, about Treachery and Royalty! Would love opinions!

Lordgoro1

Lordgoro1

What is Evil, really?
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The King's Royal Amusement

"Sire, I come bearing dire news. I don't know from what quarter it approaches, but I believe that there is an insidiously murderous treachery in your Highness' court!"


Nodding slowly, I sipped my fine goblet of red wine as my minion waited eagerly for my oh-so-important response like a lowly dog awaiting his Master's permission to speak again; In a real way, that's exactly what he is to me. Stretching out his patience in favor of my own response, I savored this moment, as any King would and should.

Finally, I responded directly to him, "Oh, my dear Jeffery... yes, I know of this treachery, and I've known of it before it ever started in the first place."
My confused minion stared at me for a moment, mouth crassly hanging open and looking uncommonly shocked at my statement. By use of this crude expression, he had lost my interest, as well as any favor he thought he had gained over his years of service to my throne.

So much the better. I do so abhor these little petty intrigues, but they do carry certain gleeful satisfaction as long as one is the Royal giving decrees, but the personal orders are my most satisfying duty as Royalty.

Getting up from my dining table, goblet in hand, I walked over to my subordinate, as if to console a friend. However, being King, and a secretly ruthless one at that, friendship was a luxury unattainable thanks to matters such as the one we were about to deal with.
"But Sire, how could you possibly know? I am your personal collector of information, am I not?" Surely a fair question to ask. "Spy, you mean? That was the word you really wanted to say, correct? Yes, you are my spy Jeffery, and a bloody good one."

I looked at his eyes above my goblet, sipping; this seemed to please him. What was to follow could go either way, depending upon his attitude and what he assumed he could find out.

It was time to test the waters and see where this hour would end.
"Jeffery, you are not of royal blood, and so there are certain things you are not fit to fully understand as a commoner. So I am going to enlighten you... Any royal knows that treachery is ALWAYS afoot in any place where Power is held, so there are those that scheme and plot to take it. So this is nothing new, old friend."

"But sire, I know this treachery is from someone in the highest levels of your court! Should this not concern you? If it's from any member of your royal family, we can have everyone followed secretly. I can surely discover the dark heart of this scheme against the Throne. I will not rest until the culprit is proven, and his head hangs from the gate of the keep."
Nodding to myself, I put down my drink, and reaching out I touched Jeffery's shoulder, slowly steering our way towards the entry door. My decision was made for him.

"Yes, I do not doubt in My own dark heart that you would eventually reveal the plot and the culprit. However, the head that will hang from the gate is no one you could accuse, regardless of the proof you would undoubtedly discover."
As we meandered closer to the door, where my royal guards awaited, I saw from his side Jeffrey's eyes slowly widen as my words sank in, and I noticed his spirit sinking as well in utter resignation.

I continued sealing his fate in words- "For you see, my former minion, my loyal spy that never strayed, there is certainly treachery here against the throne at the highest levels. I know this so well because the treachery is my own!"

We were at the very door, and I was about to open it when I heard a whisper "But why?" As if asking the Gods themselves as to the cruelty of fate. So I decided to give him an answer before his head would adorn my front gate: "Well because I say so! I do what I like, and others obey, so I start secret plots in the court against my throne just to see who falls into my web of deceit. I do this for one reason and one reason alone Jeffrey. Executions are SO much fun for me. It's like the power of God, to decree death, whenever I say so. Not even wine compares to it, or personal pleasures with my concubines. Nothing like the thrill you are about to personally experience in my name!"

"Guards!" I yelled. The door was open in an instant with two large men standing there, looking ready for violence, just what I love. "Seize this man, he is a traitor to the throne. Execute him tonight after dinner in public."

As a last bit of salt to the wound, I leaned close to Jeffery as he was sputtering about his innocence "Thank you for your services Jeffery, consider this payment in full in sacrifice to my own entertainment, and by the way, I love your suggestion about the head. I think I'll fulfill that particular wish."

I turned to my guards restraining Jeffery: "Take his head and adorn my gate with it, as a warning to my enemies, and feed his body to the dogs." Jeffery's sputtering turned to struggles.

As he was dragged out to his destiny as decreed by me I again sat down at my luxuriously adorned table and sipped my wine, giddily laughing as only members of Royal blood should. It's grand to be King, and I fully enjoy it as I certainly deserve to, being King myself.





A unique one-page fiction I crafted, opinions on the Tale and writing style are welcome! Kinda an experiment for me, since I don't write fiction normally.
 
Liked it

This part of the sentence is kind of unnecessary though
so I start secret plots in the court against my throne just to see who falls into my web of deceit
 
Liked it

This part of the sentence is kind of unnecessary though
Thanks. But its part of the "shock" moment. Glad ya liked it. My first completed short story fiction.
 
mogs me to death
 
My favorite bit

"Jeffery, you are not of royal blood, and so there are certain things you are not fit to fully understand as a commoner. So I am going to enlighten you... Any royal knows that treachery is ALWAYS afoot in any place where Power is held, so there are those that scheme and plot to take it. So this is nothing new, old friend."
 
You write pretty well.
 
Thanks. I'm quite proud of this tiny twisted crafted tale.
 
You write pretty well.
Thank you. Normally I only write true tales of my life, and my dead. But I was inspired last night. Heres the image I created for the cover if a short so short needs one.
Screenshot 01 09 2024 164042
 
One of the most brutal realizations I made was that I'd never be a great writer or even a good one. I'd be fine with being an incel if only I could write exceptionally well.
 
One of the most brutal realizations I made was that I'd never be a great writer or even a good one. I'd be fine with being an incel if only I could write exceptionally well.
Interestingly enough my talents/style are natural/instinct, NO formal education, no courses, no training. I was removed from schooling in the middle of the 6th grade!
 
My FINISHED cover:
Screenshot 01 09 2024 174809
 
My favorite bit

"Jeffery, you are not of royal blood, and so there are certain things you are not fit to fully understand as a commoner. So I am going to enlighten you... Any royal knows that treachery is ALWAYS afoot in any place where Power is held, so there are those that scheme and plot to take it. So this is nothing new, old friend."
 
I was inspired last night, haha
 
Wow. NO readers in this gigantic forum? Interesting.
Screenshot 01 09 2024 164042
 
Interesting. I rarely read fiction, but I somewhat enjoyed this.
 
Interesting. I rarely read fiction, but I somewhat enjoyed this.
GOOD. Ive decided to write a SERIES about this particular King,,, so more tales coming soon!
Screenshot 01 14 2024 115312
 

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