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A month to rope..

Twist of cain

Twist of cain

Banned
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Joined
Mar 21, 2021
Posts
86
Giving myself a month to get the courage to do it. I'm thinking high speed crash or lying down in this peaceful forest area with bottles of booze and blasting the top off my skull. This isn't just about facing the rest of my life alone. I wanted to still see other countries, to get to do these trips, travel to interesting places. Continue working, get the money for cosmetic surgery even tho I'm already ten years older and practically a foot shorter than BOTH genders in bars..but I'm fucking sick now and figure i should just try get the courage to end it before my illness fucks my body and face up so I'm giving myself a month to work up the courage. I keep trying to tell myself theres no happyness in my future to make it easier. Even if you're alone and hate never being able to have any interaction with females and depressed value the good you can get out your life. Besides people the world has some amazing things. if youre healthy dont sit inside and rot like I did. Get out and travel. Really
 
:feelsrope:im too guilty of leaving my parents behind.
I reccomend jbwmaxxing if that doesnt work its over.
 
Hahahah yeah pretty much but I'm a white guy in new zealand it's a country where the female prime minister banned what guns we had. I'm not the right guy..
If you are black, do suicide by cop and call them racist while killing you. You would singlehandedly cause another BLM trend jfl.
My mum died sister got cancer. Family is fucked. I'm not going to asia..
:feelsrope:im too guilty of leaving my parents behind.
I reccomend jbwmaxxing if that doesnt work its over.
 
What illness do you have? I'm sorry to hear about that. No pressure to answer of course >.<

I lost my mum too. Currently my health is OK in that I don't have any serious illnesses but who knows what will happen next, eh?

I guess what you should do next depends on what your illness is and how severe it is, which is why I asked >.<
 
Earl
What illness do you have? I'm sorry to hear about that. No pressure to answer of course >.<

I lost my mum too. Currently my health is OK in that I don't have any serious illnesses but who knows what will happen next, eh?

I guess what you should do next depends on what your illness is and how severe it is, which is why I asked >.<
Early stage scleroderma it looks like. Already fucking up my mouth with the wrinkles of an old person. Already lost the subcutaneous fat all over my body. Like a type of lipodystrophy, veins visible, can't wear normal shoes as fat padding has gone from feet. Hands look like they're elderly. Skins all wrinkly when I do weights as the fat that puffs my fingers out has gone. It's rare but it's my own fault. All I wanted was to experience sx properly one damn time in my whole 20s
 
Giving myself a month to get the courage to do it. I'm thinking high speed crash or lying down in this peaceful forest area with bottles of booze and blasting the top off my skull. This isn't just about facing the rest of my life alone. I wanted to still see other countries, to get to do these trips, travel to interesting places. Continue working, get the money for cosmetic surgery even tho I'm already ten years older and practically a foot shorter than BOTH genders in bars..but I'm fucking sick now and figure i should just try get the courage to end it before my illness fucks my body and face up so I'm giving myself a month to work up the courage. I keep trying to tell myself theres no happyness in my future to make it easier. Even if you're alone and hate never being able to have any interaction with females and depressed value the good you can get out your life. Besides people the world has some amazing things. if youre healthy dont sit inside and rot like I did. Get out and travel. Really
See your GrAY ass next month
 
See your GrAY ass next month
Whatever asshole I don't post this for a laugh. I don't really have people in my life where I live and am trying to get the courage to do it as the future doesn't look happy
 
Whatever asshole I don't post this for a laugh. I don't really have people in my life where I live and am trying to get the courage to do it as the future doesn't look happy
Seek within n ye shall find:feelsmage:
 
Imagine killing himself and end up in hell forever. Seek forgiveness brother. Allah loves you. Read the Quoran before you Go.
 
I really hope you change your mind
 
Imagine killing himself and end up in hell forever. Seek forgiveness brother. Allah loves you. Read the Quoran before you Go.
Hell for what? I live in hell.. why would God want me to go to hell for suicide yet allow some men to live hedonistic lives while others watch in envy...
Imagine killing himself and end up in hell forever. Seek forgiveness brother. Allah loves you. Read the Quoran before you Go.
My life is going to be suffering anyway. I'm not well anymore
 
Severe skin conditions are brutal brocel.

Cooemaxx and enjoy all the things you want to enjoy before considering anything else. :feelsEhh:
 
Hell for what? I live in hell
This world is nothing comapred to hell. it's like comparing auschwitz to high school detention.

why would God want me to go to hell for suicide
Ok let's Go by definition. see, by definition if God exists he is quite literally all knowing. An all knowing entity can't be argued against for the simple fact. It's ALREDY right in objective manner. And if so, that said entity created you and told you that you must live and never commit suicide. Then you Go and kill yourself. That'll be like rejecting reason itself. You're basically saying I know better than you God and I should kill myself. Kinda like satan when he defied God.


yet allow some men to live hedonistic lives while others watch in envy...
This is the method by WHICH God established his justice in the end of days. The evil doers will have no argument against him when they get cast down to hell. For they were given all the wealth of worldly lives and choose to do nothing with it but disobey his command.
English​
Let not the Unbelievers think that our respite to them is good for themselves: We grant them respite that they may grow in their iniquity: But they will have a shameful punishment.​
My life is going to be suffering anyway. I'm not well anymore
Then die a natural death. If there's a single even. Slight chance of God's existence..why risk it?...

In islam. Allah says.
Tafsir al-Jalalayn -English​
Do people suppose that they will be left to say, that is, [that they will be left alone] because of their saying, ‘We believe’, and they will not be tried?, tested with that which will reveal the sincerity of their belief. This [verse] was revealed regarding a group of individuals who when they became believers endured suffering at the hands of the idolaters​
 
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This world is nothing comapred to hell. it's like comparing auschwitz to high school detention.


Ok let's Go by definition. see, by definition if God exists he is quite literally all knowing. An all knowing entity can't be argued against for the simple fact. It's ALREDY right in objective manner. And if so, that said entity created you and told you that you must live and never commit suicide. Then you Go and kill yourself. That'll be like rejecting reason itself. You're basically saying I know better than you God and I should kill myself. Kinda like satan when he defied God.



This is the method by WHICH God established his justice in the end of days. The evil doers will have no argument against him when they get cast down to hell. For they were given all the wealth of worldly lives and choose to do nothing with it but disobey his command.
English​
Let not the Unbelievers think that our respite to them is good for themselves: We grant them respite that they may grow in their iniquity: But they will have a shameful punishment.​


Then die a natural death. If there's a single even. Slight chance of God's existence..why risk it?...

In islam. Allah says.
Tafsir al-Jalalayn -English​
Do people suppose that they will be left to say, that is, [that they will be left alone] because of their saying, ‘We believe’, and they will not be tried?, tested with that which will reveal the sincerity of their belief. This [verse] was revealed regarding a group of individuals who when they became believers endured suffering at the hands of the idolaters​
Why would I want to suffer in hospital... And why would he torment me with a sx drive if it was a sin. Why can't I just not feel those things
 
. I wanted to still see other countries, to get to do these trips, travel to interesting places. Continue working, get the money for cosmetic surgery even tho I'm already ten years older and practically a foot shorter than BOTH genders in bars..

Brutal. My biggest gripe is my age and the time it would take to generate enough income for such endevors. I am unemployed too so it would take me even longer than you. I can't wait a year two or three to finally "start living my life" just for it to be less grandeour than I imagined it to be.

At least you have access to firearms. That should make your suicide painless and quick. I wish you all the best.
 
Not
Brutal. My biggest gripe is my age and the time it would take to generate enough income for such endevors. I am unemployed too so it would take me even longer than you. I can't wait a year two or three to finally "start living my life" just for it to be less grandeour than I imagined it to be.

At least you have access to firearms. That should make your suicide painless and quick. I wish you all the best.
Not what I'd like. I'd prefer a handgun, maybe a magnum to shoot myself. My weak country can't even get real guns
 
Your situation is crushing... not having a healthy body as a young man is arguably more brutal than "just" being ugly. I'm sorry brocel, I don't know how to help you.
 
Early stage scleroderma it looks like. Already fucking up my mouth with the wrinkles of an old person. Already lost the subcutaneous fat all over my body. Like a type of lipodystrophy, veins visible, can't wear normal shoes as fat padding has gone from feet. Hands look like they're elderly. Skins all wrinkly when I do weights as the fat that puffs my fingers out has gone. It's rare but it's my own fault. All I wanted was to experience sx properly one damn time in my whole 20s

Why do you say it's your fault?

Here are some Earth Clinic links if they help - this site has helped me so many times.




It sounds awful though so I'm sorry to hear you're going through it.

Is where you live nice at least? If I was very ill I guess that's something I would focus on. A nice area, pleasant, etc. Ideally near family or friends.

I would check out those links though. Have you tried different micronutrients to see if any work? I've been doing that for my health issues. Recently I tried silica, borax (interesting that EC mentions that), potassium and co-q10. I've tried many others in the past.

Not many nutrients give me a noticeable change but silica definitely does.

Wikipedia mentions silica as a potential trigger of your condition but... I'm pretty sure it means in the form of dust and stuff, not a supplement. Might be worth looking into though.

For me silica supplements just improve my skin and hair.

I'm not sure if any of that helps but I hope it does at least a little bit.
 
Why would I want to suffer in hospital... And why would he torment me with a sx drive if it was a sin.
Life is suffering to God's loved ones. And sex is not a sin. As long as it's not fornication.
Why can't I just not feel those things
Quoran says : "Truly, We did offer the Amanah (trust of freewill-awareness to do or do not as his commandments say.) to the heavens and the earth, and the mountains, but they declined to bear it and were afraid of it. But man bore it. Verily, he was unjust and ignorant."

According to some muslim scholars. Long before man became flesh and part of the physical world. We like angels. Were spirits and part of the spiritual world. Until incarnation. Long before adam even. We made a pact of trust with God to be one of two known beings from his creation to be given free-will to disobey him.

We created you—if only you would believe!
58. Have you seen what you ejaculate?
59. Is it you who create it, or are We the Creator?
60. We have decreed death among you, and We will not be outstripped.
61. In replacing you with your likes, and transforming you into what you do not know.
62. You have known the first formation; if only you would remember.

it is not that he wants us to suffer. But we suffer because we disobeyed him and continue to do so but that'll be in eternal hellfire. in this life though, we suffer to be tested. And those that are tested are loved by God (if they choose to overcome they'll be handsomely rewarded in the afterlife)

Have you heard of prophet job/ayoub?.
 
Im sorry life truly fucked you over.
 
Hahahah yeah pretty much but I'm a white guy in new zealand it's a country where the female prime minister banned what guns we had. I'm not the right guy..
@Azaylias save op
 
If you are black, do suicide by cop and call them racist while killing you. You would singlehandedly cause another BLM trend jfl.
For the love of God don't do this OP. We have enough shit in Burgerland as it is.

Reconsider, anon. Don't let the normies use you as another statistic. Don't let them win, man.
 
aight on it
flying captain marvel GIF by Warner Archive

Reconsider, anon. Don't let the normies use you as another statistic. Don't let them win, man.
he should ram a rent-a truck into the local Asian community so that NZ gets a spotlight once again in international news. Be like tarrant but for Asians. In minecraft IRL mod with brenton tarrant addons ofc
 
flying captain marvel GIF by Warner Archive


he should ram a rent-a truck into the local Asian community so that NZ gets a spotlight once again in international news. Be like tarrant but for Asians. In minecraft IRL mod with brenton tarrant addons ofc
No man, we don't want our brocels roping. Every one of us that gives in is another victory for the disgusting culture which put us here.
 
No man, we don't want our brocels roping. Every one of us that gives in is another victory for the disgusting culture which put us here.
yeah that’s why it’s time for OP to do some mob farming with his rentatruck
 
Imagine killing himself and end up in hell forever. Seek forgiveness brother. Allah loves you. Read the Quoran before you Go.
You're really going to threaten this guy with eternal suffering? He has suffered throughout his life. Let him have some peace.
 
You're really going to threaten this guy with eternal suffering? He has suffered throughout his life. Let him have some peace.
I'm not threatening him. I'm telling him to think about it before committing.
 
I'm not threatening him. I'm telling him to think about it before committing.
I don't want to go to hell either. But how do I know which religion is the correct one if they all make similar claims without much evidence? If you worship Allah won't you just go to Christian hell or the hell of another religion if it happens to be the right one?
 
Don't do it we care about you BLAH BLAH BLAH ....
 
Earl

Early stage scleroderma it looks like. Already fucking up my mouth with the wrinkles of an old person. Already lost the subcutaneous fat all over my body. Like a type of lipodystrophy, veins visible, can't wear normal shoes as fat padding has gone from feet. Hands look like they're elderly. Skins all wrinkly when I do weights as the fat that puffs my fingers out has gone. It's rare but it's my own fault. All I wanted was to experience sx properly one damn time in my whole 20s
Iwn fault? How is that?
 
Hello fellow cel. I am sorry to hear of your conditions. Maybe you should cope a little with other healthcels on this forum. Maybe a little company can lessen your pain and sadness.

Whatever path you choose, I hope you are at peace. Even if you a stranger, I relate with your experience of regret and missing out on things like most cels here do. please don't listen to the negative comments.

Wish you the best in the future.
 
Rapemaxx before you end it at least
 
I don't want to go to hell either. But how do I know which religion is the correct one if they all make similar claims without much evidence? If you worship Allah won't you just go to Christian hell or the hell of another religion if it happens to be the right one?


Ok. First of all. (If you don't want to read all of this. Just skip to the video).

in islam we believe that God sent prophets with massages to all people throughout all ages of mankind. Some got twisted and manipulated yet traces of pure monotheism still remains. Like in Hinduism.

Islam is not anti-Christianity. it is anti-trinity. A lie perpetuated by the romans and emperor Constantine and paul the liar (he was called a lair by jesus own relatives and disciples like james) to indoctrinate people .

Jesus called his God in Aramaic "elaha" "elaha' the arabic version of the word will be elahi elahi .both refering to Allah (which literally translate to "the one true god"). he did not call him father in the literal sense nor did he call him GOD. he was not an anglo.

Back then calling someone father refers to one with authority. Even today arabic one of the closest languages to Aramaic. Still uses the term "god of the house" "rab al manzil" to refer to the father of the house. So God was the father of the house (the temple). The one with authority over Israel not father of himself who is not himself but part of himself.

Jesus never preached the trinity and he prayes exactly like muslims pray. He prayed with his head down and kneeling. And he certainly did not pray for himself.

" The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one."

With that out of the question. Let me clarify that Quran testifies of the righteousness of Christian priests and order us to reason with them for we are one and the same believers of God.

As the Quran says : Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is [rightly] guided. Surah al nahl.

The quoran never regarded the Christians or jews as "non-believers" in God even when it does call them kuffar of qoran. It implied they disbelieve in Muhammad not God. The quoran order us to treat them as people of the Book of God.

as such. Any religion that teaches monotheism we believe is truly God's religion. And thus we believe in the same God as jews and Christians. Only we believe muhammed is the final messenger of God.

As for HOW to prove the authenticity of this claim of muhammed being his final messenger. You need a criteria. And for that I suggest you watch Muslim vidoes in this topic.


View: https://youtu.be/gvdAGdSGr-I



Or you can ask yourself a simple question. What is the criteria for prophethood. if a man claims to be a prophet of God. Well the answer will be :

Truthfulness/honesty. God will not sent a liar to convey his massage. (Prophet Muhammad BEFORE his revelation was knwong as al sadiq al amin the trustful the honest to all arab tribes especially hia later on enemies )

>signs: before these prophets come to do their job. There should be signs to distinguish these people from liars and prove their revelation. Prophet Muhammad sign was that he himself. Like how Jesus had a miraculous birth or moses split the sea. Muhammed too split the moon and reconnected it back togther by Allah's will. Indians saw the events and documented it under the rule of a king named Cheraman Perumal. Who will later embrace islam.

Prophecies: just like moses and Jesus prophesied many things in their times. For examples Moses himself predicted an arab prophet coming from land of

Kedarites​

قيدار the GREAT father of arabs. Just google moses and kedar prophecy. You'll find nothing because it scares the living hell out of the people who hate prophet Muhammad. Christians try to barry it deep in the sand. But name one group of people who lives in the land of kedar that aren't arabs.

Muhhamed also had prophesied the modern many things that'll happen during the nearing of the final hour.

For example. He said the bare foot arabs. Will compete in owning tall buildings...where is the tallest building today?....this was in a time where the only people knwon to build anything like that were Egyptians and romans. Arabs were like eskimos of the desert.

His most terrifying prophesy to me as an incel even though according to the narrator chain the story is unreliable is that he prophesied transgenderism becoming normal : وَتَشَبَّهَ الرِّجَالُ بِالنِّسَاءِ وَالنِّسَاءُ بِالرِّجَالِ، "...and men will resemble women, and women will resemble men" . From bukhai

Oh and the chain narration was invented by Muslims to test the reliability of historical collection of recorded hadiths. Whild Christianity you don't even know who wrote the Hundreds of versions of bibles and even if you did. You've no way ro prove it. While we do.
 
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Hey thanks alot for that really.
I think it's my fault due to years of drinking chlorinated tap water, cholrinated solvents is listed as a cause so I'd imagine the water being similar maybe but it eventually became painful drinking it and I developed alot of bowel issues which eventually effected my nails then I developed the other symptoms. Possible Raynauds then all the fat disappeared.

Silica mining has been responsible I think for a lot of guys getting it. It's mostly female around 85% and alot of the male patients tend to of had some chemical exposure. Il look into that.
So far my diet, besides recently starting smoking has improved. I buy alot of fruit and vegetables from the farmers market, try to not have processed or sugary foods with added ingredients.

Been taking things a day by day week by week waiting on 2 more tests for a definitive answer and from there if I get told definitely then I'm going to seek a treatment that has apparently worked for suppression of symptoms and damage. Then look into if I can get the fat back or have fat transfers done when I get my money.

Thanks . Sorry I've been away.
Why do you say it's your fault?

Here are some Earth Clinic links if they help - this site has helped me so many times.




It sounds awful though so I'm sorry to hear you're going through it.

Is where you live nice at least? If I was very ill I guess that's something I would focus on. A nice area, pleasant, etc. Ideally near family or friends.

I would check out those links though. Have you tried different micronutrients to see if any work? I've been doing that for my health issues. Recently I tried silica, borax (interesting that EC mentions that), potassium and co-q10. I've tried many others in the past.

Not many nutrients give me a noticeable change but silica definitely does.

Wikipedia mentions silica as a potential trigger of your condition but... I'm pretty sure it means in the form of dust and stuff, not a supplement. Might be worth looking into though.

For me silica supplements just improve my skin and hair.

I'm not sure if any of that helps but I hope it does at least a little bit.
Hello fellow cel. I am sorry to hear of your conditions. Maybe you should cope a little with other healthcels on this forum. Maybe a little company can lessen your pain and sadness.

Whatever path you choose, I hope you are at peace. Even if you a stranger, I relate with your experience of regret and missing out on things like most cels here do. please don't listen to the negative comments.

Wish you the best in the future.
Thanks alot for that. Really
yeah that’s why it’s time for OP to do some mob farming with his rentatruck
Harder than it'd seem. Besides I wouldn't want to go to the slam. Imagine spending the rest of your life locked in a cage with animals
flying captain marvel GIF by Warner Archive


he should ram a rent-a truck into the local Asian community so that NZ gets a spotlight once again in international news. Be like tarrant but for Asians. In minecraft IRL mod with brenton tarrant addons ofc
Lol... I don't want to get out and get arrested and go to homo camp (jail) to spend my life locked in a cage with animals... Asians havn't done anything to me. Would also be a very ineffective way to remove them. I'm too selective.. my anger is only with whites mostly
I just wanted to say thanks to the support I got here from this.
By no means was this for attention. I was counting down on my phone each day I'd change my screensaver to a number and was wanting to go ahead with this. I had a couple of times on a bridge at night I wanted to but didn't. I got distracted because I had a couple of weeks that wernt as bad and decided I'd try to just live week to week with my crappy payday being the next milestone to get to. I've had a few rough times. Longterm I don't see myself getting over depression especially if my bodies changing more than from the normal of how I used to be. But I'm now trying to look forward to the things I can enjoy to am extent in my future. I'm leaving my job by December to travel the country which I can get some enjoyment out of. Even if my feet kinda hurt driving. And I'm looking forward to just going some nice places to see. If I get my inheritance il travel to another country and buy a new bike. Lately it's been pretty hard though as I don't have family anymore, constant health worries and body not being how it should be, I'm alone during lockdown and left my property I was at behind when I moved so don't have all the tv and games etc so it's hard to keep it up. I'm just looking forward to summer now and doing some driving.

To the person who asked if where I've been living is good and peaceful.. nah not really, nzs biggest city.
But I'm going to travel to see some nicer places in the next months so that's something.
I havn't been up to much . Just enduring a shitty 50 hour a week job but now I have enjoyed lockdown to a point.
It saved me from the job and can lie in bed listening to radio and music with the skylight and sidewindows open. It's a peace to be away from people in all honesty.

Thanks for the responses here
 
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