Venting 99% of my life spent on the internet

[SandNiggerKANG]

Man the old internet felt magical. Maybe it feels dead now because my brain receptors are fried? Or maybe everything became cooperate and soulless. But man my life has just basically been entirely online. I had nobody to talk to irl because I'm an ugly freak. I was watching a video the other day of old flash games. Nostalgic as fuck. Childhood man. Entire childhood on the internet. Good memories.
Meincraft, old Roblox, hacking Roblox even, Playing emulated games etc.

Now every other day I see a video essay about how the internet died or some shit. Maybe it really did die. What's going to top the internet? What's going to be the next big thing? I don't think there will be anything. The entire momentum of the world seems to have slowed down. More and more it just seems there's a massive process of brain drain going on.


Everything is becoming soulless. Or maybe that's just me. It's like days are going by faster and faster. Maybe because I'm rotting. Time is relative after all. But fuck, I could've become a STEMcel I had the capacity to do something like that if I took academic type stuff seriously. But now my mind is rotted beyond repair by SSRI jewpills. Fuck.

Maybe that's why everything seems soulless now. SSRI brainrot. Idk man. Just some random rant. Idk what to do other than kill myself at some point. Family is trying to push me to get a job which is the last fucking thing I want. That will be like high school and college all over again. Fuck. I just want to rot and die.

 

[InceldianWarrior]

If you think the internet is dead, you could try to make your own page, game or website to put some soul back into it.
It would keep you busy.

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

Now I just go to sleep sometimes crying and just sometimes coping by falling asleep to YouTube videos. But man. Everything every single decision and everything out of my control led to this moment right now. So many missed experiences. So many missed milestones. Am I even a real person?
I cope by imagining myself being attractive and reimagining how my life would turn out. And also being Nt And charismatic with a fun social circle.

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

If you think the internet is dead, you could try to make your own page, game or website to put some soul back into it.
It would keep you busy.

I thought about making my own website or something but I don't have the skills need to work on that sort of stuff. Neocities is probably a good shout

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

Now I just go to sleep sometimes crying and just sometimes coping by falling asleep to YouTube videos. But man. Everything every single decision and everything out of my control led to this moment right now. So many missed experiences. So many missed milestones. Am I even a real person?
I cope by imagining myself being attractive and reimagining how my life would turn out. And also being Nt And charismatic with a fun social circle.

It's fucked up how I have to imagine alternate realities for myself. Man how I wish how things were never this bad. Nothing really makes me feel anything anymore. Everything feels extremely muted. Only once in a blue moon I feel genuine emotion of happiness and sadness etc. I'm not even motivated anymore at this point. I'm practically brain dead or something. Half my memories and cognitive capacity is gone. Especially after SSRIs. I hate to sound preachy but never mess with SSRIs man. That shit can ruin your entire life and make it worse than it already is.

 

[MrZez]

Imagine being on death bed , life flashes in front of your eyes one last time and only thing u see is internet stuff.
Brootal and overpill

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

Imagine being on death bed , life flashes in front of your eyes one last time and only thing u see is internet stuff.
Brootal and overpill

I would be keking but at the same time it's sad. Most of my childhood watching retarded YouTube poops, rotting on Roblox and Minecraft and watching memes. Fuck man. It's never been so over.
What's the life review gonna be like?
"Uhh man you shouldn't have played too much Roblox and watched too much rule34 porn, have fun being reincarnated as another trucel!! Tee hee!"

 

[VictimofBpillReaper]

Yeah the internet is so damn boring now.

I don't even like using it but it's the only thing I have

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

Yeah the internet is so damn boring now.

I don't even like using it but it's the only thing I have

Maybe the novelty of everything just wore off. The internet is literally everything. Everything just kind of plateaued. It's like a graph that steeply increased and then slowly started to flatline. Everything has already been done for the most part. There's not much original, new, novel and creative anymore. The horse has been beaten to death. There's not much more else to do.
What's the next big thing going to be? Probably some unthinkable invention. Like time travel or some weird shit idk.
The boom of the internet has basically gone. Once normies fucked up the internet and made it soulless and cooperate everything has gone downhill. It should've stayed niche but nothing ever goes as planned in this accursed world. Everything has a cycle of getting used up by normies

 

[VictimofBpillReaper]

Maybe the novelty of everything just wore off. The internet is literally everything. Everything just kind of plateaued. It's like a graph that steeply increased and then slowly started to flatline. Everything has already been done for the most part. There's not much original, new, novel and creative anymore. The horse has been beaten to death. There's not much more else to do.
What's the next big thing going to be? Probably some unthinkable invention. Like time travel or some weird shit idk.

Yeah.

It doesn't help that a lot of us grew up on the internet so it's even more boring since that is the ONLY thing some of us do.

I think if we were normies and were able to have a life outside of just the internet then I think the internet wouldn't be that boring.

Honestly I suspect that is the reason that normies are so easily pleased by simple things like generic rap music, generic video games, generic TV shows/movies etc.

It's because they are able to have a life outside the internet so they don't need much to please them.

That's my opinion anyway

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

Maybe the novelty of everything just wore off. The internet is literally everything. Everything just kind of plateaued. It's like a graph that steeply increased and then slowly started to flatline. Everything has already been done for the most part. There's not much original, new, novel and creative anymore. The horse has been beaten to death. There's not much more else to do.
What's the next big thing going to be? Probably some unthinkable invention. Like time travel or some weird shit idk.
The boom of the internet has basically gone. Once normies fucked up the internet and made it soulless and cooperate everything has gone downhill. It should've stayed niche but nothing ever goes as planned in this accursed world. Everything has a cycle of getting used up by normies

Only some high IQ sperg genius could create something new. And the. The cycle continues. Will have to enjoy it while it lasts. Gen Z will be seen as the boomers compared to the next big thing that's going to be similar in innovativeness of the internet and computers.

 

[MrZez]

I would be keking but at the same time it's sad. Most of my childhood watching retarded YouTube poops, rotting on Roblox and Minecraft and watching memes. Fuck man. It's never been so over.
What's the life review gonna be like?
"Uhh man you shouldn't have played too much Roblox and watched too much rule34 porn, have fun being reincarnated as another trucel!! Tee hee!"

Same, i have zero core memories in my teenage years , while Chad will have flashbacks of first, kiss , first sex or first bj , partying , getting drunk and pumping foids , making new friendships... I have nothing

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

Yeah.

It doesn't help that a lot of us grew up on the internet so it's even more boring since that is the ONLY thing some of us do.

I think if we were normies and were able to have a life outside of just the internet then I think the internet wouldn't be that boring.

Honestly I suspect that is the reason that normies are so easily pleased by simple things like generic rap music, generic video games, generic TV shows/movies etc.

It's because they are able to have a life outside the internet so they don't need much to please them.

That's my opinion anyway

True good point. Normieism is a spectrum though. Some normies are more like us kind of. But some normies are like giga normies like the ones you described. There's always a group of normies who seek out novelty on the internet, report back and make some YouTube video on it. Its successful and gets attention i guess. So there is a big audience of normies that are interested for even the more autistic sides of the internet

 

[VictimofBpillReaper]

True good point. Normieism is a spectrum though. Some normies are more like us kind of. But some normies are like giga normies like the ones you described. There's always a group of normies who seek out novelty on the internet, report back and make some YouTube video on it. Its successful and gets attention i guess. So there is a big audience of normies that are interested for even the more autistic sides of the internet

True.

I really hope there is something more to my life mang.

Idk how tf I'm gonna live to like 60+

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

Same, i have zero core memories in my teenage years , while Chad will have flashbacks of first, kiss , first sex or first bj , partying , getting drunk and pumping foids , making new friendships... I have nothing

It's brutal man. When it gets bad I literally fantasise about living in an alternative reality where I'm attractive and more NT and I don't end up the maladaptive dysfunctional fuck I am today. Reliving my life but everything's good and have everything I never got but always wanted. Maybe writing it out writing my life out in this alternate reality kind of helps but it's a weird cope

 

[Sloth22]

I've been on the internet since i was 12. I also used to play Xbox constantly from 12 to 17/18, so i never experience that much normal social interaction in my life

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

True.

I really hope there is something more to my life mang.

Idk how tf I'm gonna live to like 60+

Honestly I would be scared to live that long. The thought of dementia and Alzheimer's scares the fuck out of me. I don't want to be abused in some dodgy care home full of evil foids and normies. I would rather rope before that time comes. Being brutalised in a care home would be the final nail in the coffin

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

I've been on the internet since i was 12. I also used to play Xbox constantly from 12 to 17/18, so i never experience that much normal social interaction in my life

You know, the times where we did get social interaction that was vaguely positive, I would keep remembering it and keep thinking about it. I was autistic enough to not think it was fake. People do give false validation and honey coat their words so they get my sperg ass to help them with assignments or homework or something. They didn't want ME they wanted what I can do. And then in the same breath they would later talk to their friends saying how I'm like a school shooter and how I'm fugly or something
But experiencing positive social interaction is like a man who's been thirsty for several days finally drinking a sip of water. Fuck it's never been so over.

 

[VictimofBpillReaper]

Honestly I would be scared to live that long. The thought of dementia and Alzheimer's scares the fuck out of me. I don't want to be abused in some dodgy care home full of evil foids and normies. I would rather rope before that time comes. Being brutalised in a care home would be the final nail in the coffin

Fr.

Those diseases are scary asf.

 

[Sloth22]

You know, the times where we did get social interaction that was vaguely positive, I would keep remembering it and keep thinking about it. I was autistic enough to not think it was fake. People do give false validation and honey coat their words so they get my sperg ass to help them with assignments or homework or something. They didn't want ME they wanted what I can do. And then in the same breath they would later talk to their friends saying how I'm like a school shooter and how I'm fugly or something
But experiencing positive social interaction is like a man who's been thirsty for several days finally drinking a sip of water. Fuck it's never been so over.

I get it. I never heard anyway talk bad about me, but i'm sure they did it in private, since i was short and morbidly obese in middle and high school

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

Fr.

Those diseases are scary asf.

Slowly losing your mind and losing control of everything I would never want to experience that ever. life is shit enough as it is. Imagine a combo of bad family + inceldom + outcasted + non NT + fugly + bullying + dementia? If life was a boxing ring and I was life's opponent I would brutalised to the point of death. That's why I have to stay prepared and figure out a rope plan before I get to that point.

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

I get it. I never heard anyway talk bad about me, but i'm sure they did it in private, since i was short and morbidly obese in middle and high school

They're either subtle with it or outright fuck with you directly and bully you upfront

 

[VictimofBpillReaper]

Slowly losing your mind and losing control of everything I would never want to experience that ever. life is shit enough as it is. Imagine a combo of bad family + inceldom + outcasted + non NT + fugly + bullying + dementia? If life was a boxing ring and I was life's opponent I would brutalised to the point of death. That's why I have to stay prepared and figure out a rope plan before I get to that point.

Ikr. Very very brutal.

It's crazy that some people are born into rich family while also being Chad and having a good family etc. And then there is us rotting on .is jfl.

I don't have the absolute worst life of all time but it's crazy to think how different people live off of pure luck

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

Ikr. Very very brutal.

It's crazy that some people are born into rich family while also being Chad and having a good family etc. And then there is us rotting on .is jfl.

I don't have the absolute worst life of all time but it's crazy to think how different people live off of pure luck

Everything truly is RNG. Life is a massive gamble. Except people play with loaded dice. So results stay rigged In certain people's favour. Even computer RNG isn't totally random. Are things even random in the first place or is the fact that we don't understand the processes behind why certain things happen?

Everything that happened in the past basically predetermined our births and our lives. What our parents did, how other people thought and acted etc. There's very little we're in control of in the bigger picture

Even the mind is limited. The mind is just a collection of memories, feelings and reactions to stimuli. And the reactions are basically predetermined and coded by your genetics. Feedback loop of social rejection and then feeling like shit is brutal...


I've heard about this theory of ancestral reincarnation. Basically saying that you Respawn in your family bloodline always or stay in purgatory if not. If it's true then I'm basically stuck in a cycle so I'm fucked. Generational trauma and all that stuff. And bad genetics

Idk just thinking out loud

 

[VictimofBpillReaper]

Everything truly is RNG. Life is a massive gamble. Except people play with loaded dice. So results stay rigged In certain people's favour. Even computer RNG isn't totally random. Are things even random in the first place or is the fact that we don't understand the processes behind why certain things happen?

Everything that happened in the past basically predetermined our births and our lives. What our parents did, how other people thought and acted etc. There's very little we're in control of in the bigger picture

Even the mind is limited. The mind is just a collection of memories, feelings and reactions to stimuli. And the reactions are basically predetermined and coded by your genetics. Feedback loop of social rejection and then feeling like shit is brutal...


I've heard about this theory of ancestral reincarnation. Basically saying that you Respawn in your family bloodline always or stay in purgatory if not. If it's true then I'm basically stuck in a cycle so I'm fucked. Generational trauma and all that stuff. And bad genetics

Idk just thinking out loud

Yeah. It's honestly so brutal how little is in our control. Not only our looks but our neuroticism, a lot of your personality, as you said our reaction to things, inhibition, all of this is heavily determined by genetics and you can't do much about it.

Life is just so unfair man. I wish we could just hard work our way out of these things.

I wish I could hard work my way out of being an ugly nigger. I wish I could hard work my way out of being a retard.

I wish I could hard work my way out of being high inhib (well maybe I can with that one). I wish I could hard work my way out of probably being non-nt.

But no, all this shit is just pre determined.

Not to mention they way you are raised as well (which you also can't do anything about as you are just a little kid) thankfully I have loving parents but I really do feel for those who don't.

 

[SandNiggerKANG]

I have loving parents

Be grateful everyday bro. Having shitty parents can derail your entire life and make it 100x worse than it already is. Your early years pretty heavily determine your life. I even faintly remember from my youngest years how this one foid was so disgusted by me and the look on her face in school. If the social circle or the positive social feedback loop isn't there, you're kind of fucked

 

[VictimofBpillReaper]

Be grateful everyday bro. Having shitty parents can derail your entire life and make it 100x worse than it already is. Your early years pretty heavily determine your life. I even faintly remember from my youngest years how this one foid was so disgusted by me and the look on her face in school. If the social circle or the positive social feedback loop isn't there, you're kind of fucked

True.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with shitty parents

 

[Incel]

Same