This is a long rant you've probably seen the same type of thing posted over and over on this site but Idgaf anymore I need to vent this shit somewhere
Most of this wont be very well written and I will have to explain some stories so that it makes sense
INB4 DNRD
My life has always been fairly unenjoyable and its not like its gotten any worse recently
Its just been painfully Okay
nothing that bad is happening like when I was younger
And this is the best its been in fucking years
But my life still feels empty and stagnant I have no purpose because I know now its genuinely over for me
For years and years I coped trying to improve
Somehow thinking I had a fucking chance when I never did
No matter what I fucking do theres no fucking point it always leads to nothing
And the cycle of suffering or nothingness continues and continues
Every night Im tormented by dreams that remind me of my shit life and then I wake up to reality and my first thought every morning the past few months after realising its over has been
“ really…. this shit Is still going I cant believe this is my life”
As I get up to rot for yet another day
Everyday doing the same shit Over and Over
Theres nothing to fucking do
unless you have a good social life the outside world is empty for you
games are becoming boring and I dont even have the energy to bring myself to play them alot of the time because they are all so shit these days I barely ever find anything worth playing
Im running out of copes
My genes have fucking ruined me
Ive failed at nearly everything in life and most of it wasnt my fault
anything that was I take the blame for but most of it I couldn't have done anything to change
All the brutal isolation bullying and abuse Ive had to suffer for something I never even fucking decided
I fucking hate this shit world everything is rigged from the fucking start
Your fate is set in stone from the start and theres nothing you can fucking do about it
Nature and the World itself is so cruel and brutal for only the selfish purpose of keeping itself and the cycle of suffering the world is fuelled by going
Even my life isnt the worst it can get
As much as I hate it compared to alot of people it isnt extremely bad
Everytime I think of it I get fucking angry
It fucking annoys me that other people
Probably good people too
have to suffer even more for fucking nothing
Born poor in the shitty favelas or born deformed shit like that
And it pisses me off that normies still complain about their fucking lives they all have it fucking easy they are never grateful for anything
What is the fucking point of all of this
any of this fucking shit
Some people are born just to suffer and make others feel good about themselves
I was cursed from the start
im a 5’7 weak bodied framecel 4/10 face incel with lifelong depression (no surprise there)
Inattentive adhd and low iq which ruined my focus and led to me being uneducated and not passing any of my grades
So I cant even cope with being rich like I could of if I was high iq and lucky
I probably have autism which made it even harder for me to socialise along with my shit looks and lead to even more isolation and bullying
I was abused as A kid so that ruined my view on people from fairly early on in life and lead to me always having a negative view of people so this and everything else made it hard for me to form relationships with anyone
A year after starting secondary school I had rotted with no friends until I managed to join a group and opened myself up to them which was difficult for me to do
For awhile it all went well and I thought I had made some real friends
I would then go on to be betrayed and treated like shit by the people I trusted which made it even worse
Me even having a couple friends at all now is “lucky”
But I had to go through so much brutal shit just to stay friends with them and only one of them K I would call my real friend
A few Years ago now I went through a stage where I was completely isolated because some of the people in our bigger friend group didnt like me anymore And they wanted everyone else to stop being friends with me
It was mostly one guy but the rest of them just agreed because I guess they didn't really gaf about me even though I trusted them as my friends
I dont even know wtf I did to this guy we were decent friends for a couple years and then he just turned on me for no fucking reason or atleast no wrong I had actually done except having shit genes
But I guess thats the life of a sub5
Its brutal to even think about this time in my life I was genuinely losing my mind I dont know how other incels can live like this their entire lives only the worst people deserve this treatment and they never get it because they are favoured by society
Society loves evil people they always rise to the top
I had to rot in my dark room for so long
With no social interaction Knowing I hadnt done anything wrong and I was being punished for fucking nothing while everyone else was living their normal lives
I think that was when I became truely blackpilled I had always been somewhat blackpilled but that time changed me for the worse
There was 6-7 months where I spoke to noone as I hadnt fully become friends with K yet but we knew eachother from the same friend group before I was kicked out of school
we weren’t fully friends at this point though
He started speaking to the friend group again after he bought an xbox and realised what they did so he started to speak to me often and now we have spoken nearly everyday since
the other one would still speak to me sometimes but not as much as K because the guy who didn’t like me was his bestfriend
I felt very betrayed by this but I couldn’t say anything about it because then I would have no friends at all
the other friend grew up to be a htn so now he has a gf and another friend group and wont stop rubbing his nt life in my face constantly like I dont fucking notice
It annoys me because I dont know if this is just me being paranoid and looking for the worst in every situation or if he is doing this on purpose to mog me
He will treat me like a friend and then randomly talk about how hes going out with his other friends and his gf or talk about fucking her when it’s obvious I’m an inkwell
I know people will come to me and say “soooooo much self pity brooo just work hard bro and Improve yourr life broooo”
But seriously What could I even do to change this shit its already fucking over
Im basically just a live rotting corpse at this point
I feel like a hollow shell of a person
Even if i Became a chad now I would still be fucked up beyond repair but atleast then maybe I could actually do some shit in life to distract myself
I just wish I could really live
I always hoped my life would get bettER but Im fucked
typing this shit Out reminded me of so many brutal experiences Id blocked out that I havent even talked out
Im so fucking tired of this shit and Ive been semi detached from reality for years now just to cope
But its gotten worse recently
Its like im being pulled along for the ride with no choice and Im just watching my life like its a boring tv show I want to switch off but Ive lost the remote control
I guess no one is really in control of their life like they think they are they are just following the path set out for them by fate and they never had any choice in who or what they would become and what will happen to them
I hope I fucking die soon If this is how it is always going to be
Im thinking of starting a commentary channel like dbdr just to vent and have something to do
I can also talk about my life stories so that maybe other people can relate
Atleast then they wouldnt be meaningless brutal experiences
I feel like I either wouldnt get any views or I would end up losing my friends somehow like dbdr and then my life would become even worse
I dont know wtf to do anymore everything always just goes to shit
Fuck this life
Most of this wont be very well written and I will have to explain some stories so that it makes sense
INB4 DNRD
My life has always been fairly unenjoyable and its not like its gotten any worse recently
Its just been painfully Okay
nothing that bad is happening like when I was younger
And this is the best its been in fucking years
But my life still feels empty and stagnant I have no purpose because I know now its genuinely over for me
For years and years I coped trying to improve
Somehow thinking I had a fucking chance when I never did
No matter what I fucking do theres no fucking point it always leads to nothing
And the cycle of suffering or nothingness continues and continues
Every night Im tormented by dreams that remind me of my shit life and then I wake up to reality and my first thought every morning the past few months after realising its over has been
“ really…. this shit Is still going I cant believe this is my life”
As I get up to rot for yet another day
Everyday doing the same shit Over and Over
Theres nothing to fucking do
unless you have a good social life the outside world is empty for you
games are becoming boring and I dont even have the energy to bring myself to play them alot of the time because they are all so shit these days I barely ever find anything worth playing
Im running out of copes
My genes have fucking ruined me
Ive failed at nearly everything in life and most of it wasnt my fault
anything that was I take the blame for but most of it I couldn't have done anything to change
All the brutal isolation bullying and abuse Ive had to suffer for something I never even fucking decided
I fucking hate this shit world everything is rigged from the fucking start
Your fate is set in stone from the start and theres nothing you can fucking do about it
Nature and the World itself is so cruel and brutal for only the selfish purpose of keeping itself and the cycle of suffering the world is fuelled by going
Even my life isnt the worst it can get
As much as I hate it compared to alot of people it isnt extremely bad
Everytime I think of it I get fucking angry
It fucking annoys me that other people
Probably good people too
have to suffer even more for fucking nothing
Born poor in the shitty favelas or born deformed shit like that
And it pisses me off that normies still complain about their fucking lives they all have it fucking easy they are never grateful for anything
What is the fucking point of all of this
any of this fucking shit
Some people are born just to suffer and make others feel good about themselves
I was cursed from the start
im a 5’7 weak bodied framecel 4/10 face incel with lifelong depression (no surprise there)
Inattentive adhd and low iq which ruined my focus and led to me being uneducated and not passing any of my grades
So I cant even cope with being rich like I could of if I was high iq and lucky
I probably have autism which made it even harder for me to socialise along with my shit looks and lead to even more isolation and bullying
I was abused as A kid so that ruined my view on people from fairly early on in life and lead to me always having a negative view of people so this and everything else made it hard for me to form relationships with anyone
A year after starting secondary school I had rotted with no friends until I managed to join a group and opened myself up to them which was difficult for me to do
For awhile it all went well and I thought I had made some real friends
I would then go on to be betrayed and treated like shit by the people I trusted which made it even worse
Me even having a couple friends at all now is “lucky”
But I had to go through so much brutal shit just to stay friends with them and only one of them K I would call my real friend
A few Years ago now I went through a stage where I was completely isolated because some of the people in our bigger friend group didnt like me anymore And they wanted everyone else to stop being friends with me
It was mostly one guy but the rest of them just agreed because I guess they didn't really gaf about me even though I trusted them as my friends
I dont even know wtf I did to this guy we were decent friends for a couple years and then he just turned on me for no fucking reason or atleast no wrong I had actually done except having shit genes
But I guess thats the life of a sub5
Its brutal to even think about this time in my life I was genuinely losing my mind I dont know how other incels can live like this their entire lives only the worst people deserve this treatment and they never get it because they are favoured by society
Society loves evil people they always rise to the top
I had to rot in my dark room for so long
With no social interaction Knowing I hadnt done anything wrong and I was being punished for fucking nothing while everyone else was living their normal lives
I think that was when I became truely blackpilled I had always been somewhat blackpilled but that time changed me for the worse
There was 6-7 months where I spoke to noone as I hadnt fully become friends with K yet but we knew eachother from the same friend group before I was kicked out of school
we weren’t fully friends at this point though
He started speaking to the friend group again after he bought an xbox and realised what they did so he started to speak to me often and now we have spoken nearly everyday since
the other one would still speak to me sometimes but not as much as K because the guy who didn’t like me was his bestfriend
I felt very betrayed by this but I couldn’t say anything about it because then I would have no friends at all
the other friend grew up to be a htn so now he has a gf and another friend group and wont stop rubbing his nt life in my face constantly like I dont fucking notice
It annoys me because I dont know if this is just me being paranoid and looking for the worst in every situation or if he is doing this on purpose to mog me
He will treat me like a friend and then randomly talk about how hes going out with his other friends and his gf or talk about fucking her when it’s obvious I’m an inkwell
I know people will come to me and say “soooooo much self pity brooo just work hard bro and Improve yourr life broooo”
But seriously What could I even do to change this shit its already fucking over
Im basically just a live rotting corpse at this point
I feel like a hollow shell of a person
Even if i Became a chad now I would still be fucked up beyond repair but atleast then maybe I could actually do some shit in life to distract myself
I just wish I could really live
I always hoped my life would get bettER but Im fucked
typing this shit Out reminded me of so many brutal experiences Id blocked out that I havent even talked out
Im so fucking tired of this shit and Ive been semi detached from reality for years now just to cope
But its gotten worse recently
Its like im being pulled along for the ride with no choice and Im just watching my life like its a boring tv show I want to switch off but Ive lost the remote control
I guess no one is really in control of their life like they think they are they are just following the path set out for them by fate and they never had any choice in who or what they would become and what will happen to them
I hope I fucking die soon If this is how it is always going to be
Im thinking of starting a commentary channel like dbdr just to vent and have something to do
I can also talk about my life stories so that maybe other people can relate
Atleast then they wouldnt be meaningless brutal experiences
I feel like I either wouldnt get any views or I would end up losing my friends somehow like dbdr and then my life would become even worse
I dont know wtf to do anymore everything always just goes to shit
Fuck this life
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