My last cope, the idea I could buy love or affection is finally gone. On the last two months before the corona lockdowns, I have been a regular of a prostitute called Clara. 50 bucks an hour each two weeks for a simulacrum of love appeared then to be a good deal.
Then came the lockdown and she lost all her clients, didn't have money to pay for her rent at the brothel and was therefore going to be evicted, all her friends left for home and she was left alone with her cat there. She then calls me desperately begging for help, I offer her a loan to cover her travel expenses (250 dollars) and let her stay at my home for the week. I also paid for her weed and some of her food, and a extra 50 bucks date. What a beta cuck.
I thought "all good, I am gonna have company for a week, and exchange the loan for making babies". But it wasn't any good at all. This week has been the worse terror in my whole life, I try to treat this woman the better I can, but since the first day she refuses to talk to me about anything other than her personal needs in the most laconic fashion possible, she refused to have me as a client after the third day, no handholding or kissing or hugging or anything. She stays in bed all day smoking weed and playing with her cat, and doesn't even let me sleep well because for some reason a 1,54 m girl can occupy 80% of my bed. Today is the last day, and to add insult to injury, she is gonna see a client.
Chad has always had it all for free, but it doesn't matter, for even paying we ain't ever getting any of it. It was always over. I really just want to die.
