Serious Enough With the Incels! A Literary Cry for Help From Female Insings (Involuntary Single)

[InMemoriam]

Enough With the Incels! A Literary Cry for Help From Female Insings (Involuntary Single)​

• May 2024
• Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences

DOI:10.1037/ebs0000349

• License
• CC BY-NC-ND 4.0

Authors:

Mads Larsen

• University of Oslo

Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair

• Norwegian University of Science and Technology

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References (126)

Abstract​

Modern mating markets relegate a growing number of men to being incels (involuntary celibate). Increasing attention befalls another group struggling in the same markets: female insings (involuntary single). In the partly autobiographical novel, Half of Malmö Consists of Guys Who Dumped Me (2021), Amanda Romare dramatizes how urban dating and technologies like Tinder exploit women's evolved mate preferences in a manner that drives addiction and dysfunction. Many women have practically unlimited access to serial dating and short-term sex with highly attractive men, but such experiences can leave women less able to calibrate their mating strategies, thus making it harder to acquire a long-term partner. Romare argues that incels get too much attention, as our culture blinds us to the plight of lonely women. To investigate the insing phenomenon , we apply sexual strategies theory, sexual conflict theory, and other frameworks from evolutionary psychology. Mismatch, conflicting desires, and exploitative technologies make many women prioritize mate qualities that misalign with their pair-bonding ambitions. Juxtaposing Romare's novel with the TV series Sigurd Can't Get Laid (2020-2022) aids us in comparing insings to incels. Our analysis illustrates how both groups fall victim to our evolved mate preferences. Communities that develop a better understanding of these preferences could improve intersexual communication, which might help them find more productive ways to mate. Public Significance Statement Our two fictional case studies illuminate why an alarming number of youths are opting out of both short-and long-term mating. High singledom and sexual inactivity may contribute to our era's impending demographic collapse, which threatens social stability and human prospering. Analyzing fictional portrayals of dating dysfunction through the lens of evolutionary psychology could generate insights that help individuals and communities progress past our current malaise.


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[Lv99_BixNood]

Many women have practically unlimited access to serial dating and short-term sex with highly attractive men, but such experiences can leave women less able to calibrate their mating strategies, thus making it harder to acquire a long-term partner.

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[Lv99_BixNood]

Incels have been common throughout most of
human history (Larsen, 2023c,2023d). The
early-second-millennium Church’s imposition of
life-long monogamy restrained Homo sapiens’
bias for polygyny and hindered women from chan-
neling mating opportunities predominantly to the
highest-value men (Larsen, 2022,2023b). This
unique regime drove a sexual egalitarianism that
peaked in the post-World War II environment
with nearly universal marriage (Coontz, 2005).
Life-long monogamy was socially beneficial,
but poorly aligned with human mating nature
(Henrich, 2020). With the 18th-century transition
away from parental choice, Western mating was
set on a path that would empower individuals to
pursue mating in a manner more aligned with
their evolved preferences (Apostolou, 2017). In
the 21st century—partly as a result of mismatch
(Biegler & Kennair, 2016)—this novel mating
regime contributes to increasing singledom and
sexual inactivity (Bergløff, 2021;BRC, 2023;
Fry & Parker, 2021;Ingraham, 2019;Ueda et al.,
2020). A reduction in sex and pair bonding
seems to contribute to this century’s drastic
decrease in fertility, which some consider to be a
paramount threat to civilization (Bainbridge,
2009;Chen et al., 2019;Eberstadt, 2021;Musk,
2021;Zeihan, 2022).
ThefactthatmostWesternwomennolongerare
materially or morally dependent on being in a
long-term relationship motivates them to exclude
the least compelling men from their pool of poten-
tial pair-bonding candidates. Gender equality and
economic inequality drive women to focus their
mate attraction efforts on a shrinking proportion
of men (Brooks, Blake, et al., 2022). Sex differ-
ences in mate preferences empower women in
short-term markets, giving them practically unlim-
ited access to casual sex with higher-value men
(Buss & Schmitt, 2011). Less restrained by
monogamous mating morality—and given access
to larger, more accessible short-term markets
through technologies like Tinder—many women
can serially date the small percentage of men
whom they perceive to be the most attractive.

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[Lv99_BixNood]

A growing number of female scholars and
intellectuals demand attention to how today’s
mating practices also marginalize women (e.g.,
Harrington, 2023;Illouz, 2019;Perry, 2022).
Amanda Romare offers an honest, gut-wrenching
portrayal of insing victimization in her partly
autobiographical Half of Malmö Consists of
Guys Who Dumped Me (Halva Malmö består
av killar som dumpat mig,Romare, 2021; hereaf-
ter Half of Malmö). The Swedish novel centers
on 31-year-old Amanda who expresses that she
wants to acquire a long-term partner, but ends
up having sex with a large number of attractive
men who never ask her for a second date.