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NSFW You will NEVER be a JB-slaying skater in the 2000s

Abomination

Abomination

Blackpill Veteran
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Joined
Nov 17, 2017
Posts
963
It's 2005. School is out. It's time for the weekend.

You skateboarded to the mall and just mastered the kickflip, and just copped a sick shirt and spiked bracelet at hot topic

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As you walk out with your nirvana shirt on your Motorola Razr gets a crazy number of texts (3, that was a lot then) from hot emo sluts, including Stacey from algebra class

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Your parents are gone for the weekend. They told you to be a good boy. You go back to your upper middle class mcmansion with the boys

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Blaze some kush with the crew

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While you're blazing sick purple OG kush you bought with the money out of upper middle class mommy's purse you and your skater crew start getting the munchies, so you order the sickest pizza
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You turn on your Gamecube and start playing Smash Brothers

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You text the girls back, telling them to get the fuck over, you have dank shit, you have daddy's Henny, you have fucking pizza

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While the bitches are coming over you and the boys start making legit crazy prank calls, to prostitutes on craigslist, to the local bars, to everything, cracking up like hyenas. You go out and tip over portapotties and egg other rich people's cars, making mischief like crazy, just laughing having a hilarious time
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Someone calls the police, now the cops are coming so you get on your sick BMX bikes and get the fuck back to your McMansion. The fat cops cannot go toe to toe with youth so they lose you behind a sidestreet

The bitches are here now, you start getting crossfaded with them, daddy's brandy and dank purple OG

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You put on some shitty fake alternative rock music like Nirvana, Green Day, or Blink 182, that bemoans the capitalist consumerist culture that allows daddy to provide you with such a top-tier existence

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Then one of your buddies puts on this new sick rap single on a burned CD, it's called 'crank dat' by soulja boi



Shit starts getting crazy, everyone is high af

Stacey's friend drops the bomb and takes off her shirt showing her luscious tits

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Everyone starts making out on the couch getting crunk.

IT'S OVER

While your buddies are taking care of the 6/10s, you take Stacey up to your room, Green Day posters all over the wall

Then Stacey (she's hot as FUCK) stutters "I really like you, are we like... gonna do it?"

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Stacey starts sucking your cock...

You are in ethereal otherworldly bliss.

Then you take her to the bed

you eat that pristine pussy

you fuck that pussy like a boss nigga

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You kiss Stacey on the lips.

You go back downstairs and the bros are all wasted, they said they got laid, the other hoes went home, everyone laughs, the night was legit insane, everyone fucking dyed hair cutie emo teen girls into oblivion

When they all leave and it's just you and Stacey she says "hey I can say I'm staying at Jennifer's house, she'll cover for me, I can spend the night"

You passionately kiss Stacey

Then you go outside after that exhilarating teen sex

You lie in the backyard of your McMansion holding hands looking at the beautiful starry sky
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"It's so beautiful" Stacey says... you just instinctively say "like you", she kisses you and you fuck again, on the grass

as you're covered in sweat you see the fireflies are out...

you both laugh catching fireflies without a care in the world

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Then you go to bed stroking her hair, you hear "I love you", you drift off into sleep, dopamine pumping like mad

you wake up...

"Stacey? where did she go?"

Then you realize the truth.

It's 2018, almost 2019. You never had that. You were a loser in middle school, high school, and college, if you are even going to college. You look like shit. You're a kissless virgin... You have no real friends to speak of. At best you are 'that guy', a hanger-on that people reluctantly associate with. You're a fucking ugly looking awkward nerd. You're getting older. Every day, you lose more and more youth, not that you were ever able to make any good of your youth anyway.

All of it was fake. You're the same piece of shit you always were. So you pull the trigger... and say goodbye to this cruel world where you have to suffer as a socially rejected outsider, forever.

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Relateable. Even though the 21st century sucks ass, 2001-2007 was meh.
 
great read if you feel like crying lol
my dream back in the 2000s was a bit more wholesome than this but considering what i ended up with i would gladly take your dream in a heartbeat
 
Most potent SuiFuel ever. :feelsrope:
 
this just made me depressed, I'm 15 and i would love to do some funny prank calls, and hang out with slutty girls with my nonexistent friends.
 
>tfw my teenage years were in the 2010s

Not like being born 5 years earlier would have fixed my subhumanity anyways, I guess
 
>tfw my teenage years were in the 2010s

Not like being born 5 years earlier would have fixed my subhumanity anyways, I guess
Could have helped. The media really fucked sht up in 5 years
 
Meh. Yeah, it's a fun night.

But then you find out you've got herpes and god knows what else because it turns out Stacy was a massive slut and had already fucked 10 different Chads.
 
Told like you lived it.
Makes me cry.
 
Meh. Yeah, it's a fun night.

But then you find out you've got herpes and god knows what else because it turns out Stacy was a massive slut and had already fucked 10 different Chads.
Cope.
 
I remember that guys from highschool. Everyone wanted to hangout with them but they didn't give a fuck about anyone. They were gods. :feelsrope:
 
Could have helped. The media really fucked sht up in 5 years

I noticed that. Hypergamy got worse too. Although my cousins did grow up in that period and one of them is white and mogs me but he was a loser weeaboo all the same. Foids probably haven't changed that much in what they like, it's just that now there's tinder and shit to compete with local yokels.
 
Thanks, now i wanna go to a department store and buy a rope now.
 
Holy fuck. My life has always been crappy, the only difference is that when I was younger I was too stupid to realize the truth.:feelscry:
 
i cri evri tiem :cryfeels:
 
So you want those? This looks really boring.
 
ascend or die
30 is the line
want to cross it be the guy
if your not till then, you say good bye

bc being weak after 30 isnt fun
and just extends your suffering
till you pull the gun
 
Except for having sex with Stacy, the rest sounds like shit. When I was that age, I just wanted to have a girlfriend and none of that other teenage nonsense. Prank calls with "the crew", smh.
I'm 15 and i would love to do some funny prank calls, and hang out with slutty girls with my nonexistent friends.
You shouldn't be here. Teenagers can't be incel.
 
I want to touch those tiddies tbh
 
I never got to experience what it's like being a carefree teenager making the most of his youth.
 


My mom used to teach me with this song:
"If a girl leaves you, don't try to keep her, be yourself and be cool, one day she'll regret it".

Pure bluepilled lie:bluepill::feelshaha: I can't give have a single girl feel attracted to me.
 
This nigga needs to write a book, his imagination and coping skills are amazing
nah but tbh this put me on suicide watch
 
2003 to 2010 were the best years tbh, girls werent fucking picky and didnt have high standards.
 
Good write up. esp at the end when you woke me up to reality.
 
Hey I remember 2005. And I was skater too! I mean I played Tony Hawk Pro Skater all alone in my room, and then watch some Bam Margera Show or whatever it was called, so I quess I qualified as skater :cool:

Ok joking aside if you are youngcel then at least you can have some hope, and usually your parents pay for everything. Being oldcel is pure suicidefuel when you know it's most def' over, yet you have to work to simply not die. And every second of your life you wonder if that's actually not the better option
 
Damn, brutal as hell.
 
legit thread. this took me back, i actually used to do this but never got laid, in fact, i was the only one of my friends who didn't get laid on account of my looks. sad :(
 
Wow this really took me on an emotional rollercoaster. Im back being me. Fuck me.
 
My mom used to teach me with this song:
"If a girl leaves you, don't try to keep her, be yourself and be cool, one day she'll regret it".
This is actually good advice if you can get a girlfriend in the first place.
As someone said in Swingers, you can't do anything to make her come back, you can only do things to make her not want to come back.
 
I feel so old.
 
Nostalgia is a weak useless cope.
 
As someone said in Swingers, you can't do anything to make her come back, you can only do things to make her not want to come back.

Dope advice. gonna order some pizza & rewatch tonight.


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We weren't meant for this world.
 
Skaters were really the biggest slayers in the 2000's , I liked watching and practicing. Brutal and nostalgic post , we're now in the 2020s
 
Too much ropefuel stop it :feelsbadman:
 
I missed out on so much...
 

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