Serious you are lucky if inceldom is your biggest problem in your life

[mentalcel666]

tldr; my best friend drowned 8 months ago while high on lsd and it might has been my fault

i dont even think about getting a gf or sex anymore, and i am pretty sure i would not be able to do it either, probably panic or just not being able to perform.

he was an alcoholic and mentally unstable, we talked everyday, hung out often, drinking, doing stupid shit, doing drugs.
it was the best 2 years of my life when we were inseparable, always had weird shit to talk about and do.

in his last 2 weeks to a month he stopped taking his antipsychotics, doing drugs pretty much everyday, hard shit too, like morphium, speed, cocaine, ketamine.

i could feel he was unwell, but honestly in his last 2 weeks i did not care about him, checked his social media post, alot of which where full of sadness and a bit weird and schizo, but i didnt pay much attention to it, he always said he doesnt want other people caring about him, and he doesnt want to care for anyone.

there was no suicide letter, not in the past, not right before, we believe it was an accident, but it maybe was suicide.

i was not there for him, he was aggressive too, and i couldnt deal with, didnt want to deal with it, so i detached a bit.

so now i am left with this extreme regret and guilt that i could have done something.
it haunts my everyday, it is the source of most of my mental anguish.

i for sure could have seen the signs, but i chose to ignore them, didnt care about it much.

so i feel like i deserve all the suffering that is put on me, i deserve to suffer for all eternity for not being there for him when he needed me the most.

and i have an extremely hard time dealing with it, i took 2 xanax today, smoked weed alot, tried desperately to cope with as many things as i can.

but it all seems like waiting for the sweet release of death, just one more day, just one more year.

he was generally happy and energetic, a bit schizo and narcissistic but otherwise normal and very intelligent.

i feel like i robbed his family and all his friends of his presence, he was mostly uplifting, had very interesting philosophical and moralistic beliefs.

he said things like he would have sex with a child if the child would like it, or have sex with his mother or sister if they were hot

he truly changed my life and my life could have kept being interesting, but i ignored the signs.

this is eating me up and i feel like i cannot deal with it, i cry often and i miss him like i never missed anything else in my life.

and the fact he will never come back haunts my core and i dont know what to do.

i am sorry for this long pointless rant, but maybe it is good if i write it out.

 

[Kamanbert]

It's not your fault at all tbh. You're not omniscient

 

[Regenerator]

I have more important things to worry about than sticking my penis inside some disease ridden hole. Nuanced take but I'm on here since lookism effects how you are treated in general by society too.

 

[vigcookie_227oalgo]

I have more important things to worry about than sticking my penis inside some disease ridden hole. Nuanced take but I'm on here since lookism effects how you are treated in general by society too.

 

[vigcookie_227oalgo]

It wasn't your fault, there was no way you could've stopped it

 

[PolskiKartofel]

tldr; my best friend drowned 8 months ago while high on lsd and it might has been my fault

Stopped reading

I wish I had anyone who has access to drugs

Inkelldom isn't my main trouble. Now I have college and need for becoming financially independent, which is very rare for diagnosed autists in EE

 

[ToBurble&Pine]

True
For some dating is their only problem, they're not even ugly fuck those fakecel they have higher chances to ascend

 

[PolskiKartofel]

drugs

Btw his fault, he could taken acid in safer place (unless he drowned in bath or other small amount of water)

 

[XDFLAMEBOY]

It wasn't your fault, there was no way you could've stopped it

I agree there’s some things that you can’t control

 

[mentalcel666]

It's not your fault at all tbh. You're not omniscient

It wasn't your fault, there was no way you could've stopped it

thank you very much it honestly helps me to hear that

 

[Only_Perspective]

When a man really puts his mind into suicide, there is no way to change his mind. Most men commit suicide because they feel worthless, those still have a chance to turn their life around with support, but some people regardless of the support they get, they will do it anyway, because they're deeply depressed.

Also inceldom is not a problem but a cause, mostly related to not being able to form part of society, which is the biggest problem everyone has.

 

[mentalcel666]

I have more important things to worry about than sticking my penis inside some disease ridden hole. Nuanced take but I'm on here since lookism effects how you are treated in general by society too.

high IQ take

 

[drowningindenial]

When a man really puts his mind into suicide, there is no way to change his mind. Most men commit suicide because they feel worthless, those still have a chance to turn their life around with support, but some people regardless of the support they get, they will do it anyway, because they're deeply depressed.

Also inceldom is not a problem but a cause, mostly related to not being able to form part of society, which is the biggest problem everyone has.

 

[DefeatedIncel]

It's not, my biggest problem is that I'm partially disabled and non NT. My short term memory is non-existant and I have a hard time remembering stuff at work etc.

 

[mentalcel666]

Btw his fault, he could taken acid in safer place (unless he drowned in bath or other small amount of water)

it was in a river with a strong current you can easily fall into, it happened at night and it was cold.
when high on lsd he was also in psychosis one time, loosing touch with reality

 

[SuperKanga.Belgrade]

it was in a river with a strong current you can easily fall into, it happened at night and it was cold.
when high on lsd he was also in psychosis one time, loosing touch with reality

That sounds like a horrible way to go brother.

Don't feel bad for something you couldn't change to begin with. If he was taking tons of drugs he probably wasn't happy, but at least he is at peace now.

 

[Darth Aries]

I have more important things to worry about than sticking my penis inside some disease ridden hole. Nuanced take but I'm on here since lookism effects how you are treated in general by society too.

The real whitepill is self improvement not for attaining a girlfriend or social approval, but gathering as many resources as you can to get as far from normies as possible and live life like a monk, that’s my goal at least.

 

[mentalcel666]

That sounds like a horrible way to go brother.

Don't feel bad for something you couldn't change to begin with. If he was taking tons of drugs he probably wasn't happy, but at least he is at peace now.

true i was also thinking nothing bad can happen to him anymore, he is truly free from suffering now.

i researched and you might think with lsd drowning is super scary, but the adrenaline would have flushed it out almost completely.
and when drowning, once your lungs are fully filled with water, you dont feel the pain in your lungs anymore

and some people who almsot drowned reported almost feeling at peace, not experiencing pain.

but the picture of him drowning still haunts me and i dream often of being submerged in water with no way out, or having to save someone that is drowning

 

[Kamanbert]

The real whitepill is self improvement not for attaining a girlfriend or social approval, but gathering as many resources as you can to get as far from normies as possible and live life like a monk, that’s my goal at least.

Based. Today i made a big step towards having neetbux in the future and it makes me feel so much better. And if we have to consider ascending, then tbh the irony is that i feel like i'd have better chances of ascending on neetbux rather than on a low wage in a tiring ass and humiliating job. Soyciety doesn't reward being honest and brave at all. It just feels like being crushed for nothing.

 

[justuseless]

I've had real friends and currently have one. I wouldn't care if he or they died.

 

[vigcookie_227oalgo]

I agree there’s some things that you can’t control

his friend probably made up his mind already and didn't care about his well being anymore which is why he did hard drugs as much as OP said he did

 

[mentalcel666]

his friend probably made up his mind already and didn't care about his well being anymore which is why he did hard drugs as much as OP said he did

possible but i think i could have realized it and see the signs and spent as much time with him as possible but didnt want to deal with his aggression, schizo thoughts and depression.
thats why i feel this regret and guilt

 

[Runt171]

tldr; my best friend drowned 8 months ago while high on lsd and it might has been my fault

i dont even think about getting a gf or sex anymore, and i am pretty sure i would not be able to do it either, probably panic or just not being able to perform.

he was an alcoholic and mentally unstable, we talked everyday, hung out often, drinking, doing stupid shit, doing drugs.
it was the best 2 years of my life when we were inseparable, always had weird shit to talk about and do.

in his last 2 weeks to a month he stopped taking his antipsychotics, doing drugs pretty much everyday, hard shit too, like morphium, speed, cocaine, ketamine.

i could feel he was unwell, but honestly in his last 2 weeks i did not care about him, checked his social media post, alot of which where full of sadness and a bit weird and schizo, but i didnt pay much attention to it, he always said he doesnt want other people caring about him, and he doesnt want to care for anyone.

there was no suicide letter, not in the past, not right before, we believe it was an accident, but it maybe was suicide.

i was not there for him, he was aggressive too, and i couldnt deal with, didnt want to deal with it, so i detached a bit.

so now i am left with this extreme regret and guilt that i could have done something.
it haunts my everyday, it is the source of most of my mental anguish.

i for sure could have seen the signs, but i chose to ignore them, didnt care about it much.

so i feel like i deserve all the suffering that is put on me, i deserve to suffer for all eternity for not being there for him when he needed me the most.

and i have an extremely hard time dealing with it, i took 2 xanax today, smoked weed alot, tried desperately to cope with as many things as i can.

but it all seems like waiting for the sweet release of death, just one more day, just one more year.

he was generally happy and energetic, a bit schizo and narcissistic but otherwise normal and very intelligent.

i feel like i robbed his family and all his friends of his presence, he was mostly uplifting, had very interesting philosophical and moralistic beliefs.

he said things like he would have sex with a child if the child would like it, or have sex with his mother or sister if they were hot

he truly changed my life and my life could have kept being interesting, but i ignored the signs.

this is eating me up and i feel like i cannot deal with it, i cry often and i miss him like i never missed anything else in my life.

and the fact he will never come back haunts my core and i dont know what to do.

i am sorry for this long pointless rant, but maybe it is good if i write it out.

I doubt theres anything you could have done to help him theres no point feeling guilty about it

 

[SupremeAutist]

I have more important things to worry about than sticking my penis inside some disease ridden hole. Nuanced take but I'm on here since lookism effects how you are treated in general by society too.

based take

 

[Runt171]

I've had real friends and currently have one. I wouldn't care if he or they died.

Why not??

 

[umsure]

It’s worse because inceldom being your only problem is a wasted life that could’ve been amazing otherwise if you weren’t subhuman

 

[justuseless]

Why not??

I just wouldn't.

 

[Runt171]

I just wouldn't.

I dont understand why you wouldnt care if a genuine friend died

I could understand if its someone you didn’t actually care about

 

[AlexDelarge]

currently it is since i solved my financial situation

 

[LeFrenchCel]

Tbh finding a girlfriend is far from being my main problem

 

[justuseless]

I dont understand why you wouldnt care if a genuine friend died

I could understand if its someone you didn’t actually care about

I just dont.

I would care if my mother or certain other family members died though.

 

[Runt171]

I just dont.

I would care if my mother or certain other family members died though.

How long have you known your friend for??

 

[justuseless]

How long have you known your friend for??

Since school. He knows about my inceldom and mental problems.

 

[Runt171]

Since school. He knows about my inceldom and mental problems.

Thats crazy
I wish I had a genuine friend that I could talk to about this shit and here you are not giving af if he dies or not

 

[Todd Thundercock]

Inceldom goes far beyond not getting laid, though.

You also have no place in society. Nothing to strive for. Nobody cares about you. These are the actual damaging factors.

Anyway, don't beat yourself up. There's nothing you could have done to prevent this. You're also a low-value male that could do nothing to really help him.

 

[XDFLAMEBOY]

his friend probably made up his mind already and didn't care about his well being anymore which is why he did hard drugs as much as OP said he did

sad that he didn't even care about himself

 

[mentalcel666]

Inceldom goes far beyond not getting laid, though.

You also have no place in society. Nothing to strive for. Nobody cares about you. These are the actual damaging factors.

Anyway, don't beat yourself up. There's nothing you could have done to prevent this. You're also a low-value male that could do nothing to really help him.

yes thats a pretty good point, lookism is definitely real and deeply ingrained into our culture and psyche.

my point kind of was that there are things that can happen in your life where you instantly do not care anymore about not getting sex or a gf.

i dont like my title anymore, it was actually designed to get people to click it and read my sob story
assholeish and a bit dishonest from my end.

because its never a good argument to say: X has it worse then you.

this is always true for any situation and doesnt change how you feel.

so i hereby formally apologize for my clickbaitey title

 

[mentalcel666]

sad that he didn't even care about himself

i get often flooded with memories of situations where he showcased this, not caring about himself, his safety or health.
seeing parallels to how i see myself (thats why we understood each other so well i think)

i was his closest person here where i live, so i also have all his things at my apartment (its a whole room full with his clothes and other shit)
and was part of the whole, going to the police, cremation, death certificate process, etc..

i really hoped to get haunted by him, i tried it, tried to be mentally open for it, but it didnt happen, so i got massively disappointed.

we also talked about it when he was alive, i asked him "promise me that you will haunt me when you die first"

 

[oldNgreycel]

Did you pour the LSD down is throat? Did you push him into the water? No? Not your fault then. It's fine to grieve, but you can't blame yourself for the actions of others.

 

[Simba]

None of this is your fault. He even said that he doesn’t want ya to care.

 

[SilverBullet]

I wish it was my biggest problem. Instead managing chronic illness for life is. Just more bs to deal with on top of being a social outcast and pussyless

 

[mentalcel666]

I wish it was my biggest problem. Instead managing chronic illness for life is. Just more bs to deal with on top of being a social outcast and pussyless

me too lol, i am nostalgic for the times inceldom was my biggest problem and my life was just working, then coming home, smoking weed and playing fortnite

 

[mentalcel666]

None of this is your fault. He even said that he doesn’t want ya to care.

jeah but maybe this was a coping mechanism, he said he does not want anyone to care about him, but actually wanted it, but was scared of attachment or something.

or you say you dont care if anyone loves you because you expect no one to love you, so there is no disappointment and being let down if no one actually cares about you

 

[XDFLAMEBOY]

i get often flooded with memories of situations where he showcased this, not caring about himself, his safety or health.
seeing parallels to how i see myself (thats why we understood each other so well i think)

i was his closest person here where i live, so i also have all his things at my apartment (its a whole room full with his clothes and other shit)
and was part of the whole, going to the police, cremation, death certificate process, etc..

i really hoped to get haunted by him, i tried it, tried to be mentally open for it, but it didnt happen, so i got massively disappointed.

we also talked about it when he was alive, i asked him "promise me that you will haunt me when you die first"

He lacked love

 

[mentalcel666]

Did you pour the LSD down is throat? Did you push him into the water? No? Not your fault then. It's fine to grieve, but you can't blame yourself for the actions of others.

you are right, thank you, i know this logically but if i would have the information i have now i could have been there in his darkest hours, instead i didnt care and didnt want to deal with his drunk or high as fuck ass.

 

[iRespectFatLink]

Btw his fault, he could taken acid in safer place (unless he drowned in bath or other small amount of water)

Setting is extremely important with psychedelics.

 

[oldNgreycel]

you are right, thank you, i know this logically but if i would have the information i have now i could have been there in his darkest hours, instead i didnt care and didnt want to deal with his drunk or high as fuck ass.

That's on him. Sounds to me like he was self destructive and it would have happened sooner or later. Not like you can commit you like to be his keeper.

 

[Limitcel]

Dude, no one can save a drugged schizo, I hope this doesn't offend you too much, but he could only change if he survived it and created the desire to change himself.

Unfortunately he didn't survive it but believe me if he hadn't drowned he would have continued near death, few people survive, it's not your fault

It's like wanting to blame yourself for the death of your relative with cancer because you weren't able to find the right method to cure him.

 

[Friezacel]

He was depressed because of inceledom, so yes, inceldom is still the biggst issue

Sorry for your loss

 

[FoidSSlayer88]

you are right, thank you, i know this logically but if i would have the information i have now i could have been there in his darkest hours, instead i didnt care and didnt want to deal with his drunk or high as fuck ass.

youre not in the wrong for wanting to not deal with someone cracked out of his mind because thats a shitton to go through even as an observer, and you definitely have some mental problems if you are here kek.

you did what you can and there were probably moments you had his back even if all that you remember now is the neglect. and he definitely appreciated those moments. you did your best considering he was that schizo and drugged up. really brutal.

dont beat yourself up about it.