Well, it's honestly so brutal and mentally destroying to go without vaginal intercourse your entire life, and even more so without any love or feeling intimacy or a relationship. And as a result, outside of hard drugs, I really have tried every single cope in the book; videogames, meditation, exercise, internet escapeism, NEETmaxing/LDAR, etc. And one of my copes is hearing arguments for and against stuff like the afterlife, reincarnation, god's existence, various religions and their ideas, consciousness, philosophy, etc. Learning about this sort of stuff is a huge cope for me, and somewhat gives some meaning to my existence, as I will probably never get that from love and sex with a prime foid.
And from learning about these kind of philosophical subjects, i've taken a interest in learning about ethics and meta-ethics and philosophy. I find it super interesting, but im a low-iq noob at it, and I can't hold my own in a debate, but i love listening to stuff like this. If I could go back, i'd get an education in philosophy instead of the dumb shit I took. And ethics is all about good or bad, and at this point im logically forced to care about being good. Thats why i don't eat animals, and think that mass shootings of randoms are wrong, and think that bullying and torturing the weak is wrong.
If there is afterlife justice, then hopefully atleast i won't get punished for being someone evil, and if there is no afterlife, then it doesn't really make a difference anyways, because its over for me. Some of my biggest fears are this is all there is, or that god is evil/doesn't care/doesn't exist.