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[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]I don’t think it would help me since I’m a weak loser. Like seriously how can someone be so weak that they want to kill themselves, yet don’t have the balls to actually go through with it? How pathetic do you have to be to thinking about all these fantasies where my worthless bodies just sitting their, everyone happy one less useless worthless piece of shit in society and still not be able to pull the trigger. Lol at crying in the middle of the night writing this out, fuckin wish I was a real man and could just grab a razor shove that shit in my wrists and cut deep. I know I should be using a gun to blast to the head but there’s an extensive process here to get one. Four months ago I tried to just leave the car running and walk in, but like the weak piece of shit I don’t even have the balls to even walk in the garage, plus my dad decides to come home early, has to be one of the most pathetic attempts at suicide ever, if it was filmed no doubt it would be all over YouTube people laughing at how bad it was. Why is my life at the stage where even a smile from a stranger is enough to give me even a little energy to push through, like what the fuck went wrong. I wish I could hate women as a cope, but I can’t, I look at myself and say why go out with this filth. Plus I don’t think going in a relationship will even help, like I am garbage and know I’m dating someone I’m suddenly not garbage anymore? At my age most people have the world in front of them, yet all I see is hell, every frickin day. [/font][/font]
