I was fine up until 5th grade. That was when everything changed for me.
My next door neighbor foid was in my same class. I had confided in her about the girl I liked. She ended up telling the whole class. My crush came up to me like, “I heard you like me. Ew!” I was mortified.
In addition, that was when my mom and my former stepdad were having problems, leading to their divorce the next year. This led to my mom treating me even more like shit (they both did, anyway), and it led to me seeing her with different men. Seeing my batshit crazy, low IQ, abusive, completely self-unaware mother get attention from men should have blackpilled me back then.
Also, this was when puberty started to kick in for me and many of the other kids. My poor genetics started to become apparent, slowly until 9th grade when I realized all of the boys had grown taller than me.
I also masturbated and came for the first time during that year. It scared the shit out of me, first of all. Second of all, I was now officially in tune with my sexual desire for females (not a good thing jfl).
The following year, I had a crush on a different girl. This was a much bigger crush, too. I always imagined us getting married, and I wrote a song about her. The whole year, I was scared to ask her out. I asked another kid to ask her for me during dismissal time at the lockers. He did, and he came back to my locker to tell me, “She said no.”
Let’s not even talk about high school.