L
Even when I am studymaxxing I feel fully burnt out. Waging will be at least a thousand times worse. I have neither the mental nor physical capabilities to work fulltime and see no future in my current degree. Even the comparatively high grades cannot hide the gaping incompetence resulting from my lack of real-life experience.
I can unironically not understand it anymore. How can NORPs even tolerate that shit? The only spare time you have is on the weekends (and even there the spare time is rare, because in many STEM jobs you inofficially also have to work on the weekends to "educate yourself further" to become a better wage slave). There is so much work to do, but I cannot find the motivation to do it anymore. I need so much time for everything and am constantly overtaxed, yesterday nearly suffered a mental breakdown again due to work.
Why did my fucking parents even force me to work in a STEM field on fulltime? I am mentally/physically disabled with coordination problems and severe Autism, I belong in a sheltered workshop and nowhere else. They always forced me to study so hard - and for what? With my numerous disabilities (and my problematic personality factors) I will never get a job anyways (without resorting to disability hiring). They should have listened to the "experts", at least my life would be easier now if I went to a special needs school instead of constantly fighting to go to normal schools only to fail as an adult nonetheless because nature (IQ, neurotypicality, able-bodied-ness) is more important than any kind of nurture (education/school).
I am sick of it all and see no point in further studying/working. But I have to do it to survive. How sick is it to deem waging as something fulfilling? A job is nothing more than something that should enable basal life functions (like having access to water/food/warmth), nothing liberating (unlike what my parents and neoliberal cunts say). I feel constantly trapped and even the weekends are nothing more than a small delight that vanishes a few moments after it started, you can barely go anywhere. Constant suicidefuel. I hate studying/working. A GF would make everything more tolerable, but still waging would be hell on earth - just imagine losing at least 70% of your life time to some greedy company and calling that "liberating". If my parents just let me drop out my life would be easier, it's not like I am ever going to be accepted into a STEM job anyways, I would then look for part-time employment and have at least some time of the day for myself instead of working my ass off for stuff that comes natural for others. I have no ambition for a "good life", I just want to survive and my interests need no money anyways. I am even close to graduation, but I want to give up and throw it all away.
I can unironically not understand it anymore. How can NORPs even tolerate that shit? The only spare time you have is on the weekends (and even there the spare time is rare, because in many STEM jobs you inofficially also have to work on the weekends to "educate yourself further" to become a better wage slave). There is so much work to do, but I cannot find the motivation to do it anymore. I need so much time for everything and am constantly overtaxed, yesterday nearly suffered a mental breakdown again due to work.
Why did my fucking parents even force me to work in a STEM field on fulltime? I am mentally/physically disabled with coordination problems and severe Autism, I belong in a sheltered workshop and nowhere else. They always forced me to study so hard - and for what? With my numerous disabilities (and my problematic personality factors) I will never get a job anyways (without resorting to disability hiring). They should have listened to the "experts", at least my life would be easier now if I went to a special needs school instead of constantly fighting to go to normal schools only to fail as an adult nonetheless because nature (IQ, neurotypicality, able-bodied-ness) is more important than any kind of nurture (education/school).
I am sick of it all and see no point in further studying/working. But I have to do it to survive. How sick is it to deem waging as something fulfilling? A job is nothing more than something that should enable basal life functions (like having access to water/food/warmth), nothing liberating (unlike what my parents and neoliberal cunts say). I feel constantly trapped and even the weekends are nothing more than a small delight that vanishes a few moments after it started, you can barely go anywhere. Constant suicidefuel. I hate studying/working. A GF would make everything more tolerable, but still waging would be hell on earth - just imagine losing at least 70% of your life time to some greedy company and calling that "liberating". If my parents just let me drop out my life would be easier, it's not like I am ever going to be accepted into a STEM job anyways, I would then look for part-time employment and have at least some time of the day for myself instead of working my ass off for stuff that comes natural for others. I have no ambition for a "good life", I just want to survive and my interests need no money anyways. I am even close to graduation, but I want to give up and throw it all away.
