kay'
المانلة المعذّب
★★★★★
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2022
- Posts
- 21,240
Reddit - Dive into anything
www.reddit.com
My dad got cancer and made everything worse for the women in our family
Sorry, I just need to vent. TW for chronic illness and suicide talk.
My dad was diagnosed with cancer last month, but turns out the tumor is so big that it compresses some organs in his abdomen. It got real bad real quick to the point that he can't eat, instead he has been puking stomach acid because not even that can fit into his stomach. He has been hospitalized for a few days, waiting for a surgery to fix this (not remove the tumor, but making his organs functional again so he can receive chemotherapy).
His condition has made everything so difficult everyone, but specially for the women in our family. My mom has been taking care of him very closely since forever, but his attitude towards her is pure shit, dismissing her efforts and demanding even more from her. My grandma comes to the hospital to take care of him too, honestly I don't know how he treats her in private, but she is in her 70s and making all these efforts for him, barely sleeping.
As his oldest child, I (22) am in charge of his business now that he is incapacitated, I go pay some of his bills, and I also come take care of him at the hospital. We have never gotten along too well, his once shitty attitude towards me has gotten even worse. When I come see him, he acts like my presence is a nuisance. When I call to ask him about something, he shouts at me on the phone. I'm so tired and can't cope anymore. I haven't slept well or actually rested in so long. My only support is my sister (20) who manages the business with me, but sometimes we have to be separated because she takes care of our brother (14) when my mom is at the hospital.
Before this situation, I could just ignore him and evade his attitude, because he was gone most of the day anyway. But now, having to bear his shitty treatment on top of actively taking care of him has taken a toll on me. Since February, I was planning to kill myself on November this year, but I can't leave my mom, sister and grandma with the responsibility of him and the business, I love them too much for that and it would be inconsiderate of me to make them struggle financially and emotionally when they have my father's illness already. A fellow wife of a cancer patient adviced my mom to divorce my father, but I honestly don't think she will, and even then our families are too bound together (we live in the same house as his parents and brother and are very close to them).
Btw, the men in our family's only responsibility is their job and driving us back and forth to the hospital and stuff. Lmao. Of course I greatly appreciate the financial support and not having to use public transport but come on. All the emotional and physical suffering is on the women.
I know this is long, so thanks for reading, I just had to let it all out. Not really looking for advice, just wanted to share an insight on how marrying men or having male children rips women off their freedom and autonomy. Some blackpill material if you will.