Burner account post:
My (28F) fiancee (34M) and I used to have a great relationship, but for the last year, his political views have become a problem. I mostly bit my tongue about it, but it came to a head when he accused a woman at his job of lying about her sexual assualt. I pointed out that when a woman accuses a man of rape, he questions it and says she is lying. He justified that by saying it's stupid to believe an accusation like that with no proof. I pointed out that he has no proof that she's lying either but he's accusing her anyway. He often sends me articles of women (usually teachers) sexually abusing boys. I brought up that he never says the boys are lying or asks for proof. He got very upset and kept repeating that I was "trivializing male sexual abuse". I don't feel like I was. I feel that I was just pointing out the hypocrisy.
He denied being biased against female accusers. I reminded him that when the allegations against Diddy first happened, he said "feminists were just trying to ruin a successful man's life". (Unsurprisingly, he never brought up the man who accused Diddy of sexual assault). He defended Diddy up until the video of him physically assaulting Cassie was leaked. Even then, he said "we didn't know the whole story".
The final straw was when he was telling me (yet again) how women are actually worse than men because we are sneaky and conniving and "at least men will f**k you over to your face". He kept saying that women are far worse people than men, and I just lost it. I said that there was nowhere on earth, not now or ever in recorded history, has the female violent crime rate been higher than the males'. I told him that men kill each other even more than they kill us, so they are a bigger danger to themselves than some girl being "sneaky". I said that blaming women for unfair legislation (like conscription) makes no sense when men make up the majority of the US government (and most, if not all, other governments). He was absolutely furious about all this. He didn't "argue" with me, per se. He just told me that I was brainwashed by the feminist agenda and that feminism lied to me and convinced me I was "special" (I still don't know where that comment came from. It was not relevant to anything). I, admittedly, was very pissed off, and said "well, maybe, patriarchy lied to you about this relationship being special". I threw my ring at the table, left the house, and haven't spoken to him since.
Today, he sent me a long text stating how I belittled him with that comment and that I "would be a good wife if I could just stop needing to be right all the time". I haven't responded, and I'm conflicted about if I will at all. I feel bad about throwing he ring. I really feel bad that I hurt his feelings by saying our relationship isn't special. But still, tbh, I'm seriously questioning if I really want to marry him. He has always been argumentative. Not just with me. With everyone. Normally, I just ignore it, but he was so egregious with his hypocritical BS. I shouldn't have taken the bait, and I don't feel like men are generally bad. I was speaking out of anger. I don't consider myself to be a super political person. I'm not even sure if I count as a feminist. He just has a new complaint about women every freaking day at this point. It's so frustrating. Idk when he became this way, but it sucks. There are still things I love about him, but the things he has been saying may be more than I can forgive. Despite all that, I'm still responsible for my intense outburst because I ignored his constant woman-bashing in an effort to keep the peace. I exploded when I could've just spoken up from the start. Maybe if I'd nipped it in the bud right at the start, it could have been better. Idk. I don't know what to do. AITAH?
