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Serious Why do I exist like this?

  • Thread starter Deleted member 8353
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Deleted member 8353

Deleted member 8353

Former Hikikomori, Aimless Pleasure Seeker
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Joined
May 29, 2018
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I keep thinking about my past, and I can't help but wonder, why did I simply accept my surroundings and perceptions for what they were? I've been taught what all sorts of things are, how to use them, innumerable meaningless dates, ideas, and knowledge of all kinds, but never why I'm doing any of it. It's incredibly curious how we simply accept things for what they are without ever really questioning our perceptions. It wasn't until last year that I noticed the pixels in my eyesight, why didn't I notice them before?

My body just feels wrong somehow. I'm typing this on my keyboard, but why do I have to use my fingers, why don't the letters just appear? Why do I even have fingers? Again I'm overcome by the feeling that I shouldn't exist is this form. Or maybe it's that I shouldn't be here at all? I eat because I'm hungry, but I never used to question why I got hungry, I just accepted the phenomenon for what it was.

What am I exactly? Apparently I'm a human, whatever that means, but what I'm saying is I don't understand what I really am. If I look in a mirror I see a reflection that moves in response to me, but what makes it mine? I can't actually see my own face, it's curious how I have to use deductive reasoning to conclude that the reflection is mine, yet it's only an image of my body. Did I always have this body? I'm not so sure, and thinking about it makes me feel uneasy.

Being trapped in this body feels strange, I want to get out.
 
Wtf. do you think you are a computer?
 
You might be an alien stationed in this earth for some kind of mission or observing.
 
In 5-10 years from now, you will remember this comment along with this thread that you've typed up. We're truly our own recorders and its over.
 
Wtf. do you think you are a computer?
You might be an alien stationed in this earth for some kind of mission or observing.
I don't know about either of those, but I suppose there is nothing saying that they couldn't be true. It's just that lately I've been feeling more and more strange, I think there is something wrong with me tbh.

Or maybe I've just become far more introspective, I'm not sure. But my memories don't really feel like mine either. I can't believe I've only recently noticed how ridiculous this life is.
 
I often have similar thoughts. I've never been able to make sense of it.
 
Well done Mr. Anderson
 
Everything is simply an allusion.
 
All we are is a brain and nervous system
 
https://media.salon.com/2013/03/westboro_picketer.jpg
 
I often have similar thoughts. I've never been able to make sense of it.
Another weird thing from the body is our voice, sometimes I'm talking with my mother and it feels so surreal and nonsensical like gibberish I'm being forced to use for no reason and depersonalization kicks in.
 
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Im an alien and I can confirm that you were sent here for no reason
 
you were sent to live on this shit planet as a punishment, earth isn't ur home planet nor is it mine
 
This world not good place
 
I sometimes ponder and think this is just a simulation
 
We neglect our body's desires to such an extent that our bodies seem like they are separate from our minds.
 

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